Lost Identity
by Shonetta
Summary: Chakotay finds himself in a crewmember's body after a transporter accident and struggles to reclaim his identity. When Voyager gets home, Seska's sister lands Janeway with a child that she claims is Chakotay's.
1. Chapter 1

Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures

**Lost Identity**

**(PG:13)**

**Chapter One**

Beneath a sky full of stars, Kathryn and Chakotay sat beside a crackling fire, enjoying a glass of red wine and sharing a plateful of freshly roasted chestnuts. It had been over two weeks now since the storm that had wrecked their shelter, but time seemed suspended on this planet and they found themselves losing track of it a little more every day.

Chakotay topped up Kathryn's wine and it warmed his heart to see how relaxed she was. Now that she had accepted their situation, she had, like him, made up her mind to make the most of it. And, making the most of it hadn't been difficult. Over the past two weeks they had visited many places on the planet in their shuttle, including magnificent mountain ranges, beautiful unspoilt beaches, vast golden valleys, spectacular rainforests and scorching deserts. But they had only seen a fraction of all there was to see, and even if they took a trip every day for the rest of their lives, they would never see everything.

"These chestnuts are delicious," Kathryn said, digging her fork into another one on the plate Chakotay was holding. "The finest I've ever tasted."

"Me too," Chakotay replied. "We'll have to collect some more...maybe preserve them so we can have them out of season."

"Absolutely. We'll collect as much as we can."

Suddenly, a familiar squarking sounded in the woods, and both Kathryn and Chakotay looked in the direction of the trees.

"I think our fire's frightened our new found friend," Kathryn said, putting down her fork and glass of wine on a small stool behind them. "Poor thing. He must think we're the neighbors from hell."

Chakotay laughed and watched as Kathryn got to her feet and approached the edge of the woods.

"It's ok, little fellar," she said, speaking blindly to the trees. "We've only been roasting some chestnuts. There's nothing to fear."

At the reassuring tone of Kathryn's voice, the monkey quietened.

"You're welcome to join us," she continued, "but the chestnuts are almost gone."

Branches rustled, and for a moment Kathryn thought the animal was going to take up her invitation, but then the rustling grew quieter and more distant as the monkey returned the way he had come.

Kathryn sighed and made her way back to Chakotay.

"Before the summer's over, I'll have him eating out of my hand, I swear..."

"You really think you can domestic him, don't you?" Chakotay said in amusement as she sat down.

"Yes," Kathryn smiled. "I love a challenge."

"Well, he'll certainly be that."

Kathryn picked up her glass of wine and fork and glanced at the plate of chestnuts Chakotay was still holding. To her disappointment, she saw that there was only one left.

"I might have to fight you for that chestnut," she teased.

Chakotay laughed softly. "No need, be my guest."

Kathryn gratefully picked up the last chestnut and ate it slowly, savoring the taste.

"This was the only part of camping I liked as a child," she said, after taking a sip of wine, "sitting around a fire eating roast chestnuts. When all the chestnuts were gone, I'd lie on my back and look up at the stars. I could identify every planet, every constellation, and I loved to make up my own from the patterns I could see."

"I loved doing that too," Chakotay confessed, putting down the plate in his hands. "For as long as I can remember I was drawn to the stars and longed to be amongst them."

"Same here. Although I never thought I'd end up living on an uninhabited planet in the Delta Quadrant."

"I can't say the thought ever crossed my mind either," Chakotay smiled.

The brightness in Kathryn's eyes suddenly faded and she fell serious. "If you knew as a boy that this was to be your fate...living here, like this... would you still have pursued the dream?"

"You mean would I do it all again?"

"Yes."

"There are many things I wouldn't go again," he said honestly, "but meeting you, being a part of our journey in this quadrant, yes, I would do that again."

Kathryn searched his eyes, searching his soul. "Even though it means spending the rest of your life with me?"

Chakotay held her gaze. "I can't think of anywhere, with anyone, I'd rather be right now."

Kathryn's eyes moistened at that and she smiled softly.

"Neither can I."

For a long moment they looked deep into each other's eyes, then slowly, tentatively, Kathryn closed the gap between them and their lips met in a tender first kiss.

When they drew away, Chakotay gently brushed his fingers against Kathryn's cheek.

"In k'aatech," he said softly.

Kathryn smiled, eyes sparkling. "What does that mean?"

Chakotay flinched, and then looked at her strangely, almost in confusion.

At his reaction, Kathryn tensed, sensing that something was wrong. "What is it? What's wrong?"

When he replied, she had her answer - he replied in a language she didn't understand!

For a long moment, Kathryn just stared at him, totally taken aback. Then her brain engaged and she relaxed as the reason dawned on her - Chakotay didn't speak English. The thought that he didn't had never occurred to her. She had only ever heard him speak in her native tongue and had always assumed that it was his native tongue too. With the audio and visual mental manipulation of translation technology that made everyone look and sound like they spoke in the native tongue of the listener, it was impossible to tell who spoke what language. But if Chakotay's people had gone to the trouble of settling on a planet to preserve their culture and heritage, they would also do their best to preserve their native language.

Switching to Federation Standard language, Kathryn tried to convey her thoughts. It had been a long time since she had last used the language and she wasrather rusty. "The translator must be..." She searched for the word. "Broken." Before discarding their commbadges, they had fitted a universal translator to the shelter - just incase they were visited by aliens, friendly or otherwise. The translator worked up to a radius of fifty meters, and she and Chakotay had never been that far apart, even when she was working in the woods.

"Yes," Chakotay replied, his command of Federation Standard even more rusty than hers. He had taken the required classes at the Academy, but as he'd never learnt the language as a boy, he had never really become fluent in it. And, as translators were so reliable and commonplace, he'd never found the need to use the language so had forgotten a lot of it.

For a long moment Kathryn and Chakotay just looked at each other, then they both laughed.

When at last they sobered, Chakotay spoke. "I'll go..shelter...fix..."

"Ok," Kathryn smiled.

Without another word, Chakotay made his way to the shelter and Kathryn watched him. When he disappeared inside, she turned back to the fire. The flames were dying now and, as it could take Chakotay some time to fix the translator system, it seemed pointless to revive the fire. Instead, Kathryn got to her feet, picked up a bucket of water that was nearby, and extinguished the flames. She then began to clear everything up, and took the plates, cutlery and roasting equipment inside to recycle.

When she entered the shelter, Kathryn saw that Chakotay was sitting at the table, studying a computer monitor. She made her way over to the recycler, recycled the objects in her hand, and then returned outside to collect the blanket they had been sitting on and the stool. There were less stars in the sky now, which could only mean that the sky was clouding. She hoped with all her heart that didn't mean another storm was brewing. As quickly as she could, she picked up the blanket and stool and hurried inside. After putting the stool back in its rightful place in the kitchen, she went over to the recycler to recycle the blanket. As she did so, Chakotay called to her.

"Kathryn..."

At the sound of her name, Kathryn turned around.

"Yes?"

He gestured for her to go over to him, and Kathryn went right away. As she approached, he turned the portable monitor towards her and pointed to text on the screen. Kathryn stepped closer, so she could see it clearly, and smiled when she saw that the text was in English. Chakotay had clearly used a word processing translation program so he could better communicate with her.

_'There appears to be a short-circuit in the translator's main processor. It shouldn't take long to fix - about half an hour. I may aswell do it now, rather than wait until morning. What do you think?'_

Kathryn turned to look at Chakotay and nodded with a smile.

Chakotay smiled in return and then spoke to the computer. Instantly it processed and translated his words, displaying them in English text.

_'Then I'll get to it.'_

"Ok," Kathryn replied, turning back to him.

Chakotay smiled, got to his feet, and squeezed her arm affectionately before crossing the room to access the translator's main processor, which was concealed in a silver cupboard.

Kathryn watched as Chakotay opened the slim silver doors, and then made her way to the shelter's small bathroom to take a quick shower.

* * *

After showering and putting on comfortable nightclothes, consisting of a white satin nightdress and matching robe, Kathryn returned to the living area to see how Chakotay was getting on. He was lying on his back on the floor, working busily, and she didn't like to disturb him. Instead, she made her way over to a small beige couch in the corner of the room and curled up on it, resting her head against a soft brown cushion that she had made by hand. It was almost 11pm and she was feeling rather tired. Closing her eyes, she let herself melt into the warmth and comfort of the couch, and in no time at all, she was fast asleep.

* * *

It took Chakotay a little longer than he had anticipated to fix the short-circuit, but at last he had the translator system working again. His mission accomplished, he cleared up, washed his hands, and then made his way over to the living area.

"All fixed," he said. "We can..."

He stopped talking when he saw that Kathryn was fast asleep. As quietly as he could, he closed the gap between them and looked down at her fondly. She looked so content, so peaceful...so beautiful. For a long time he stood over her, just gazing at her and memorizing every feature, every freckle. Then he went over to the replicator, replicated a soft fawn blanket, and gently put it over her. There was a stray strand of hair on her cheek and he knelt beside her to remove it. Then he gazed at her again before planting a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Sweet dreams, Kathryn," he whispered.

He then got to his feet and quietly left.

* * *

Sun, the chirping of birds, and the tasty smell of breakfast were the first things Kathryn became aware of when she woke up the next morning. For a moment she didn't know where she was, then everything came back to her. She had clearly fallen asleep while waiting for Chakotay to fix the translator.

"Good morning."

Kathryn looked in the direction of Chakotay's voice and saw him standing by a carefully laid table, putting a jug of orange juice down on it.

"Good morning," Kathryn replied, putting her hand to her rather stiff neck. "I guess I dosed off..."

"I guess you did," Chakotay smiled. "And, as you've probably gathered, I fixed the translator."

"Clearly," Kathryn smiled in return. "And boy am I glad."

Chakotay laughed softly. "At least your Federation Standard is better than mine."

"Well," she replied, climbing out of her make-shift bed. "I learnt it all through school. I'm guessing you didn't learn it until you got to the Academy."

"No, I didn't. And I haven't had to use it since then so I've kind of forgotten a lot of it."

"It's a good thing we never had to use it on Voyager."

"I'll say," he smiled.

"It never even occured to me that you don't speak English," she said, making her way over to him. "I just assumed that you did. I mean, I kind of took it for granted. How strange..."

Chakotay couldn't help but tease. "That I don't speak English or that you took it for granted?"

"I guess a bit of both," she replied. "Not that there's any reason why you should speak English, of course, just that all this time I thought that you did...And now I find out that you don't and...it's just strange..."

"I'll admit it threw me for a moment," Chakotay conceded. "I've always known we don't speak the same language, and yet...and yet I've got so used to hearing everyone speak in my native tongue all these years that I didn't really think about it."

Kathryn sat down at the table. "What language do you speak exactly?"

"Yucatec Mayan," he answered. "It isn't the ancient language of my people, but it's the language they all spoke when they settled on Trebus. A few members of our tribe can speak our ancient language, and a few ancient words have become a part of our vocabulary, but not enough people for it to have become our mother tongue. My father could speak it, and he tried to teach it to me, but I didn't really want to learn." He paused. "I kind of regret it now."

"I'd like to learn your language," Kathryn said sincerely. "Do you think you could teach me?"

"It would be an honor," Chakotay replied. "Perhaps we can teach each other. I'd love to learn English."

Kathryn smiled. "Deal."

Chakotay smiled in return and then went over to the hob to attend to breakfast.

"Smells good," Kathryn said, trying, but failing, to see what he was making. "What are we having?"

"Omlette, tomatoes, veggie bacon and fried bread."

"Scrumptious. You really are spoiling me, Chakotay."

"Well," Chakotay answered, "you deserve it."

Kathryn watched as he stirred the stewing tomatoes, flipped over a couple of slices of bread, and checked on the grilling bacon.

"It's about time I cooked for you, though," she said seriously. "How about I cook for us tonight? I could make something Mexican or Chinese..."

Chakotay glanced at her, amusement in his eyes. "Feeling ambitious?"

"Very."

"Then I look forward to it," he smiled.

As he turned back to breakfast, Kathryn found herself thinking of the kiss they had shared the night before, a kiss so sweet and tender, yet so electric.

"Chakotay..."

"Yes?"

"Last night when we...you know...what did you say?"

Chakotay turned back to her, the warmth in his dark, kind, eyes making her catch her breath.

"I said I love you," he said softly.

Happy tears welled in Kathryn's eyes at that. "You did?"

Chakotay nodded.

Kathryn smiled, got to her feet,and made her way over to him. "Well, that's just wonderful because..because I love you too..."

Tears of joy filled Chakotay's eyes and he scooped her in his arms, holding her tight. Kathryn slipped her arms around his neck and held him in return.

"We'll be happy here, Kathryn," Chakotay said, kissing her hair. "I promise you we will."

"Of course we will," Kathryn smiled. "You, me, and a whole planet to explore. What could be better?"

An alarm beeped, forcing them apart, and when they turned to the hob, they saw thick smoke emanate from the frying bread.

"You, me, a whole planet to explore and unburnt breakfast?" Chakotay suggested.

Kathryn laughed heartedly. "Yes, that could be so..."

* * *

After breakfast, Kathryn took a shower, put on a cool dress of slate-blue, and joined Chakotay in the kitchen area. He was sitting by the table, studying what appeared to be a map on the computer.

"I'm performing detailed scans of the local area," he said as Kathryn approached. "We've seen a lot of faraway places, but have hardly explored this region at all. I thought maybe we could do so over the next few days. There seem to be a lot of interesting places."

Kathryn stood beside him and gestured to a blue line that wiggled across the screen.

"Is that a river?"

"Yes. And it's only about half a mile away. Seems to pass through some interesting terrain."

"It certainly does, if this map is anything to go by. It's too bad we don't have a boat. I'd love to explore it by water." She paused. "Where are we exactly?"

"Here," Chakotay said, pointing to their location, which was just west of the river. "I was just about to mark us..."

Kathryn saw what appeared to be a lake near by. "Oh, a lake...we'll have to go there, Chakotay. It looks even closer than the river. How about we go this afternoon?"

"Sounds good," Chakotay smiled.

Kathryn put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed affectionately. "While you're drawing up the map, I think I'll go and rehome my tomatoes. They need to be transferred and the weather is just right today."

"Alright," Chakotay replied.

Kathryn squeezed his shoulder again and then kissed his cheek before leaving.

* * *

Lying on dry ground, Kathryn carefully replanted the last of her precious tomatoes. She had grown them from seeds and was very proud of their flourishing. Behind her she heard the shelter door open, and in no time at all, Chakotay was beside her.

"How are they coming?"

"Very nicely," Kathryn replied. "We should have vine-ripened Talaxian tomatoes in a couple of months, unless this planet has the equivalent of tomato bugs. They're awful."

Chakotay smiled. "I would never have thought of you as a gardener."

"I grew up around farmers," Kathryn explained. "My parents insisted we learn some basic gardening skills."

"Did you hate that as much as camping?"

"Of course," Kathryn smiled. "Who wanted to muck around in the dirt when you could be studying quantum mechanics? But I find it very satisfying now, watching the seeds sprout and grow..."

"If your tomatoes could spare you for a minute," Chakotay jested, "I'd like your opinion on something in the house."

"Well," Kathryn said, getting to her feet and walking with him towards the shelter, "you've come to the right person. I always have an opinion..."

"Really?" Chakotay teased.

Laughing, they entered the shelter and Chakotay gestured to a display on the computer.

"What do you think?"

"A boat!" Kathryn exclaimed in delight.

"You said you wanted to explore the river," Chakotay said, her joy warming his heart. "I think I could build this."

"We could go on a camping trip," Kathryn said, her mind already thinking of the exciting possibilities.

"I'm not sure we could fit the bathtub in the boat," Chakotay teased.

"Well, that's all right," Kathryn replied. "I'll have the river."

They laughed softly until a crackling sound in the background caught their attention.

Kathryn looked up at Chakotay. "Do you hear that?"

"Yes," Chakotay replied.

A once familiar voice was discernable amongst the crackling, and at the recognition of it, they both realised the sound came from their discarded commbadges. Chakotay made his way over to where they lay, picked them up, and lay one on the table before Kathryn.

"This is Tuvok calling Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay. Please respond."

Tentatively, Kathryn picked up the commbadge and spoke. "This is Janeway."

"Captain," Tuvok replied. "It's good to hear your voice. We have news."

"What is it?"

"We have medicine which we believe will effectively treat your condition. We plan to be in orbit within 30 hours."

* * *

Blue birds flew over a vast silver lake that sparkled in the late afternoon sun. Wearing a white cardigan over her dress, Kathryn stood at the water's edge and looked out vacantly at the scene before her. There was a haunting sadness in her eyes, a sadness that Chakotay was too astute to miss.

"You've been very quiet all afternoon," he said, closing the small gap between them. "I thought you would be happy that the crew are coming back for us."

"I know," Kathryn replied. "For the first few weeks we were here, all I could think about was finding a cure so we could leave. But now..." She stopped, bit her lip.

Chakotay questioned. "But now?"

"I've come to think of this place as home. And..." Tears filled her eyes. "And I've never been as happy in my entire life as I have been these past couple of weeks with you."

"Neither have I," Chakotay said sincerely.

Kathryn turned slowly towards him. "But this is where it has to end, Chakotay. What we have here, what we've shared here, it can never be ours on Voyager."

"We're a long way from the Federation, Kathryn," Chakotay reasoned. "Voyager may never get home in our lifetime. In circumstances like ours, regular rules don't apply...they can't."

"They have to," Kathryn said quietly. "It doesn't matter how far away we are or how long the journey, we're still a Starfleet crew with a mission to accomplish. And I'm still a Starfleet captain. A personal relationship between us is out of the question." She paused. "I'm sorry."

Tears filled Chakotay's eyes now and he averted them. He knew there was no point in arguing. When Kathryn had set her mind on something, no one could change it.

"But I want you to know," Kathryn continued, "that what we shared here, what I feel for you, it's all been real."

At that, Chakotay looked up at her. "I'll wait," he said seriously. "I'll wait as long as it takes..."

"No," Kathryn replied gently. "As you say, we're got a long way to go and we could be traveling for the rest of our lives. I want you to think of our time here as...as a beautiful dream, a dream to forever cherish." She reached out and took his hand in hers. "That's how I'm going to remember this time...always."

A tear ran down Chakotay's cheek. "I meant what I said, Kathryn...about standing by your side. Whenever you need me, no matter where or when, I'll always be here."

Kathryn squeezed his hand. "And I'll always be here for you."

They looked at each other a moment, pain, regret and longing in their eyes. Then slowly, hesitantly, they drew together and held each other close.

"I'll make the boat," Chakotay said, stroking Kathryn's long auburn hair. "I'd like to make the boat. And, perhaps, one evening you'll join me for a ride on the holodeck."

Kathryn smiled against his shoulder. "I'd like that."

For a long time they held each other close, neither wanting to let the other go. Then, arm in arm, they slowly made their way back to the shelter.

**END OF CHAPTER ONE**


	2. Chapter 2

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures**

**Chapter Two**

**2378**

Bright light was the first thing Chakotay became aware of when he woke up in sickbay. Forcing his eyes to tolerate the pain, he looked around, trying to work out where he was and how he got there.

"Welcome back."

The voice was familiar...the Doctor's voice.

"Doctor?"

"That's right. You're in sickbay."

"What happened?"

"You were injured on an away mission. An underground mine collapsed on you."

"I remember now," he said, the words triggering memories. "The others...?"

"Fine," the Doctor replied, "although they wouldn't have been had it not been for my excellent care. Lieutenant Marsha Barker was discharged this morning, Tal Celes yesterday, and Commander Chakotay two days ago."

Chakotay's heart stopped. Commander Chakotay? Had he heard the Doctor right? Or was he suffering some kind of hallucination.

"Commander Chakotay?"

"Yes. He was fortunate to escape with only a broken leg and mild concussion."

Chakotay swallowed. "But that can't be...I'm Chakotay..."

The Doctor stilled at those words and was a moment in replying. "You are Lieutenant Adam Shaw."

"No," Chakotay replied. "I'm Chakotay...First Officer of this ship..."

The Doctor bit his holographic lip and then began to scan his patient. "I'm not detecting any brain malfunction," he said, "but I'll perform deeper scans."

Chakotay sat up now. "I don't need a scan to tell me who I am, Doctor. I'm Chakotay. Can't you see?"

The Doctor went over to a bench nearby and picked up a mirror. He then took it over to Chakotay and held it up to his face. "Do you look like Commander Chakotay?"

Chakotay looked into the glass and gasped at the face he saw looking back at him. It was a pale Caucasian face with dark blue eyes and a mop of curly blonde hair - Adam Shaw's face.

"No," Chakotay said, putting his hand to his cheek and seeing the man before him do the same. "This isn't me..." He looked at the Doctor. "Something must have gone wrong. Our consciousnesses must have been transported to the wrong bodies..."

"If your consciousness had been transported into the wrong body," the Doctor reasoned, "then Commander Chakotay...or rather Adam Shaw in Commander Chakotay's body, would be saying the same thing as you. But I can assure you that Commander Chakotay is fully present in mind and body."

Chakotay got to his feet, a million thoughts racing through his mind. "Then this must be some kind of alternate reality or a hallucination, because I assure you, Doctor, that I am Chakotay!"

"I have no doubt you believe that," the Doctor replied, "but you have to trust me when I say that you are not. You suffered a severe blow to the head when the mine collapsed and have been unconscious for the past five days. You are disorientated right now, but it will most likely pass." He gestured to the bed. "Now please, lie down so that I can perform intensive brain scans, just to rule out the possibility of brain damage."

Chakotay remained where he was. "I'm not consenting to anything until I've seen the Captain."

"This isn't a matter for the Captain."

"I believe it is. I don't know what is going on here, but I know who I am. We could be dealing with any kind of phenomenon. The Captain must be consulted."

The Doctor was silent for a moment as he considered this, then he spoke.

"Very well. I will summon the Captain."

* * *

Ten minutes later, Kathryn arrived. She smiled when she saw Lieutenant Adam Shaw sitting up in bed.

"Lieutenant Shaw," she said warmly. "It's good to have you back with us."

"I'm not Adam Shaw," Chakotay replied. "I don't know what's going on, but I know that I'm not him. I'm Chakotay."

Kathryn glanced at the Doctor in concern and then back at her officer. "Chakotay?"

"I know it's hard to believe when I look like Lieutenant Shaw, but I'm telling you the truth."

"But Chakotay's on the bridge," Kathryn answered. "I was talking to him only half an hour ago."

"I believe the Lieutenant's head injury may have been more severe than I initially thought," the Doctor interrupted. "I would like to perform an intensive brain scan, but the Lieutenant wouldn't consent to it without seeing you first."

Kathryn looked at the man pitifully and slowly approached the bed. "I know this must be frightening for you, but you must listen to the Doctor and do what he says. We can't help you unless you do."

"I don't need help," Chakotay replied. "Not of that kind. I know who I am."

"And I don't doubt your sincerity, but you're not Chakotay. You are Lieutenant Adam Shaw." She paused. "Would it help if you saw Chakotay?"

"Not if he's an imposter." He paused. "You must at least consider the possibility."

Kathryn was silent a moment at that. It was certainly not impossible that he was telling the truth. As a Starfleet Captain she had to try and have an open mind at all times. "Very well," she said at last. "If you're Chakotay, where and when were you born?"

"Trebus, 2329."

The Doctor interrupted again. "With all due respect, Captain, that information is hardly classified. Lieutenant Shaw is a former Maquis. He could easily know Chakotay's place and date of birth."

"Then ask me something else," Chakotay said. "Something only I would know..."

Kathryn was just about to reply when sickbay doors opened and Voyager's First Officer entered. Chakotay's stomach flipped at the sight of himself walk into the room and it took him a moment to adjust to the frightening peculiarity.

"Just the person," Kathryn said, turning to greet her First Officer. "Perhaps you can help shed light on some matters..."

She spoke in a tone that Chakotay knew only too well...the tone of well intended subterfuge.

"Glad to be of assistance, if I can," the First Officer replied. He then smiled at Chakotay. "Lieutenant Shaw, good to see you awake..."

Chakotay made no reply, just scrutinised this imposter closely, his mind running through a million possibilities. Was it an alien possessing his body or had Adam Shaw assumed his identity? Adam had always been a ruthless man and was certainly capable of doing something like this. While Adam's body was a good ten years younger and extremely fit, it was well within his character to make do with an older body if occupying that older body was to his advantage. And, there could be no greater advantage in their predicament than being the First Officer of the ship.

"It certainly is," Kathryn replied. "And I have no doubt that he will soon be back to himself." She paused. "But at the moment he believes that he is really you."

The First Officer's eyes settled on him and Chakotay shuddered at both the coldness in the gaze and the strangeness of having his own eyes look back at him. "What makes you think that?"

"I know who I am," Chakotay answered. "I'm Chakotay, First Officer of this ship. I'm not Adam Shaw."

"You suffered a serious head injury," the man replied calmly. "You're disorientated...It will pass..."

Kathryn put her hand on Chakotay's shoulder, humouring him. "If you don't have the scan, we can't begin to understand what's going on here. If our First Officer is an imposter, or all this is part of some alien deception, we can't begin to explore the possibility until we've ruled out a medical condition." She paused. "I know you're scared, but we need to know what we're dealing with."

Chakotay hesitated, but at the kind sincerity in Kathryn's eyes, he relented. "Alright. I'll have the scan."

* * *

As the Doctor scanned Chakotay, Kathryn stood with her First Officer and watched.

"You don't believe him, do you?"

Kathryn turned to her First Officer who was looking at her in concern. "Of course not," she replied. "I'm just humouring him. He's clearly suffering from some kind of identity crisis after his injuries and really believes he's you. Hopefully we'll be able to persuade him otherwise...but it may involve scanning you too, just to appease him."

"If it helps," the man replied.

Chakotay lay as still as he could as the Doctor scanned the body he was occupying and it seemed an eternity before he was told he could move. He sat up slowly and waited for the Doctor's verdict. What it would be had no idea. If this was all part of some alien deception, it could be anything.

At last, the Doctor spoke. "The scan reveals some trauma in the mid-brain. It's only mild, but any damage to the brain can cause problems."

Kathryn made her way back to the Doctor. "Could it cause an identity crisis?"

"Possibly. Damage to this part of the brain can cause amnesia and we all know how that can affect personality." He paused. "Another possibility is that the Lieutenant is suffering from a delusional psychiatric condition. I searched through his family history while waiting for the scan to complete, and there is a history of mental illness in his family. The head trauma could have triggered a delusional disorder. It's unlikely, but not impossible."

"I'm not ill," Chakotay injected. "I know who I am..."

Kathryn turned away from the Doctor and approached the bed. "You have to trust us, Lieutenant. We only want to help."

"I know that, but..."

"Would it help if we scanned Chakotay?"

"It won't make any difference, not if our consciousnesses have been switched." He seized Kathryn's hand. "You have to believe me, Kathryn. If you don't then no one will. I remember everything...growing up on Trebus, joining the academy, our time on New Earth...everything. I don't know what's going on here, whether this is alien induced or if my consciousness was mixed up with Shaw's during transport, but I know who I am. You must believe me."

For a long moment he and Kathryn locked eyes, and as they did so, Chakotay saw the certainty in her eyes change into doubt.

"I'll check transportation history for any anomalies," she said, drawing her hand away from his grasp. "In the meantime, the Doctor will scan Chakotay."

Chakotay smiled, relief consuming him. "Thank you."

Kathryn nodded, almost in a daze, then turned towards her First Officer. From the bed, Chakotay could see Kathryn's fingers hover over her phaser.

"I want the Doctor to perform all necessary tests to confirm your identity. I trust you will comply."

"Gladly," the man replied.

At that, Kathryn's fingers left her phaser. "Then I'll go and check transportation history."

The man nodded, not displaying a hint of concern.

Kathryn looked at her First Officer for a moment, and then back at the Doctor. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Without another word, she left.

* * *

It took the Doctor the best part of an hour to perform all necessary tests on the First Officer, and all Chakotay could do was wait helplessly in bed. The body he was occupying might not have been his, but the pain the body was producing was as real as any he had ever experienced. Every limb seemed to ache, every joint, and a pounding headache plagued him. Even though every mental sense was on red alert, this foreign body was demanding sleep, and he was just about to give in when sickbay doors opened and Kathryn came in. She looked a lot happier than when she had left, and smiled as she made her way into the room.

"You'll be relieved to know, Lieutenant, that there were no transporter anomalies. Lieutenant Fletcher and I both checked the history files and everything was as it should be."

"Then something else is going on here," Chakotay replied. "Alien deception or..." He swallowed as a thought dawned on him. "Maybe I'm dreaming and none of this real..."

"You're not dreaming," Kathryn replied, walking towards the bed. "I can assure you of that."

"But you would say that," Chakotay answered, "if you're a figment of my or an alien's hallucination..."

"I suppose I would. But I could say the same thing...that I'm dreaming and none of this is real."

Chakotay raised a hand to an aching head. "But it feels too real to be a dream. The pain is too real..."

"I'm sure the Doctor can give you something to ease the pain."

The Doctor spoke now as he approached the bed. "You should have said you were in pain, Lieutenant. I may be a hologram of many talents, but I'm not telepathic."

"I'm ok," Chakotay replied. "It's just a headache. I don't want anything."

Kathryn turned to the Doctor. "All done?"

"Yes," the Doctor replied with a smile. "And I'm happy to say that Commander Chakotay is, beyond a shadow of a doubt...Commander Chakotay."

Kathryn smiled, all her uncertainty put to rest now. "Thank you, Doctor."

Chakotay got out of bed now, his agitation growing. "If Shaw or someone else's consciousness is inhabiting my body then all biological tests will confirm that he is me. You need to do more...a mind-meld...that will see into our souls."

The Doctor stepped forward, his manner brusque. "We have already indulged this fantasy too far. You are not Commander Chakotay. You are Lieutenant Adam Shaw. This...identity crisis...that you are experiencing is due to a serious head-injury you sustained five days ago. You have to accept that."

"But I don't," Chakotay cried, tears welling in foreign eyes. "I know who I am. You have to believe me...Please..."

Kathryn reached out and put her hand on his arm. "We believe you are sincere. Of course we do. You are just...confused. You have to trust us."

"No," he argued. "You have to trust me. Ask him something...Ask him something only he would know if he is me..."

Kathryn looked at him with the same pity he had seen earlier in her eyes and then spoke. "Very well, if it will help you." She turned to her First Officer. "What was the name I gave to the monkey we met on New Earth?"

The First Officer smiled. "Rascal."

"Right," Kathryn said, turning back to Chakotay. "Does that satisfy you?"

Chakotay made no reply. How had the imposter known that? He wasn't supposed to know that... Was a telepathic alien possessing his body?

Kathryn squeezed the arm that was now Chakotay's. "We'll leave you get some rest. You've been through quite an ordeal." She then turned to her First Officer. "Come on, let's get a coffee in the mess hall. I haven't had one since 9am and am having serious withdrawal symptoms."

The First Officer smiled. "Only since 9am?"

"I know," Kathryn replied. "I'm getting worse."

Chakotay watched as they said goodbye to the Doctor and then made their way out of sickbay. As they disappeared through the doors, he felt like more than just his body had walked out of the room. His identity had gone too.

"The Captain's right," the Doctor said. "You need to rest. Let me get you something for that headache."

Chakotay turned to the Doctor. "How can I rest, Doctor? I'm trapped in this body and no one believes who I am."

"And how will exhausting yourself help matters?" The Doctor said, both humouring and reasoning with him. "You need to rest. And perhaps when you wake up, you'll be feeling more like yourself again."

Chakotay considered a moment and then nodded. If this was all some kind of dream state then perhaps when he woke up he would be himself again. He could only hope.

Every movement hurting, he slowly climbed back into bed and lay down. As soon as he did, the doctor applied a hypospray to his neck, and in no time at all he was fast asleep.

**END OF CHAPTER TWO**


	3. Chapter 3

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.**

**Chapter 3**

Chakotay stood still as the Doctor examined the body he was still occupying. Even though it had been a week since he had woken up in sickbay and found himself in Adam Shaw's body, it still disturbed him every time he looked in the mirror and saw the Lieutenant's face looking back at him. For two days he had done his best to persuade the Doctor, and everyone who visited him, that he was not Adam Shaw, but no one believed him. And the more he protested, the more ill they believed he was. Realizing he was going to achieve nothing that way, he decided to change tactics and play the game whoever, or whatever, was possessing his body was playing. So long as he maintained that he was Chakotay, he would be detained in sickbay, but if he pretended that he was indeed Adam Shaw, they would think him on the mend and he would be discharged. He would then be free to investigate what was going on.

"I'm happy to say you are well enough to return to your quarters," the Doctor smiled as he finished examining him. "But as your memory is still somewhat hazy, it could be a few weeks before you are fit enough to report for duty."

"Well, no complaints from me," Chakotay smiled, trying to say something that he believed Adam Shaw would say. "I've never been one to refuse vacation time."

"Indeed you have not," the Doctor replied. "But I'm afraid you must also take it easy physically for the next couple of weeks. Light exercises are fine, but no weight lifting or karate, even with the safeties on."

"Understood."

The Doctor picked up a hypospray from a bench behind him and handed it to Chakotay. "You may have a headache off and on, so take this and apply it as you need. If you experience any other symptoms then come to see me at once. Otherwise I'll see you in two days."

Chakotay took the hypospray. "Thankyou, Doctor."

* * *

Standing in the doorway of Adam Shaw's quarters, Chakotay looked around the former Maquis's residence. The furniture was black, the carpet grey, and the walls were almost bare. There was no color in the room, nothing bright and cheerful. The only object of remote interest was a large black panther that decorated an otherwise bland corner of the room. Chakotay crossed the floor and made his way to the bedroom. The door opened automatically at his approach and he stepped inside. The room was as bleak as the last. A black quilt covered the bed, a black cushion rested on a silver chair, and a black shelf ran the length of the wall to his right. There was a tricorder on it and a couple of framed pictures of Adam's mother and non-identical twin brother, Allan, but nothing more. Chakotay went over to the shelf and picked up the picture of Adam's brother. He looked a lot like Adam, except that he had wavy chestnut brown hair. Like Adam he had once been in Starfleet, but was captured by the Cardassians and tortured to death. Their mother had died not long afterwards of a broken heart, and Adam had joined the Maquis to avenge his brother's death. Chakotay had met Allan a couple of times at the Academy and remembered him as a very friendly and dedicated man. He had not met Adam until the young man joined his crew, and he quickly learnt that he was nothing like his brother. He was arrogant, presumptuous, and very bitter and cynical. But perhaps he had been different once. Chakotay knew only too well how the desire to avenge the deaths of loved ones could harden a man's heart.

After putting the picture back on the shelf, Chakotay made his way back into the living room. Outside the window stars flew by at warp speed and Chakotay sat in one of Adam's soft black chairs and looked at them for a moment. How he had ended up in Adam's body, he still didn't know. Over the past few days, all kinds of thoughts had crossed his mind - that aliens had mass possessed the crew, that he was in some kind of alternate reality, and even that he was indeed Adam Shaw and just deluding himself that he was Chakotay. But he knew who he was, and he knew he was in the wrong body. From what he could gather, no one else on the ship was suffering from an "identity-crisis" and if aliens were mass possessing the crew or mass transplanting consciousnesses, then there would surely be someone else suffering the same displacement as him. Time and time again he kept coming back to one chain of thought - that either his and Adam's consciousness had been mixed up when they were transported to Voyager, and Adam was assuming his identity because of the advantages, or an incorporeal alien had possessed his body during transport and transplanted him into Adam's body. That would raise the question of where Shaw's consciousness was, but perhaps the alien had devoured it in the way that hostile alien posing as Kathryn's father had wanted to devour hers, or his consciousness had been lost or somehow suppressed in one of the bodies. Whatever was going on, Chakotay was sure that the man parading as Voyager's First Officer was an imposter. He just had to try and determine who and why. How he was going to do that, he didn't know. It would help if he had someone on board who believed him, but there was no one. Perhaps he could try and convince B'Elanna who he was, but the half-Klingon had never liked Adam and he didn't want to cause her any distress as she was due to give birth any day. He had already tried persuading Kathryn, but to no avail, and now that he was a mere Lieutenant, the opportunities for speaking informally to the Captain would be few. Perhaps all he could do for the moment was check the activities of the First Officer, watch him like a hawk, and hope that sooner, rather than later, Kathryn or B'Elanna, or any of the bridge crew who knew him well, would realize that the man who had assumed his identity was an imposter.

* * *

Now that Neelix had left Voyager, the mess hall was quiet. Everyone was missing him and going there just wasn't the same without the warm welcome he had always given. Sitting alone at a table, Chakotay absently stirred two spoonfuls of sugar into a cup of creamy hot chocolate. It was going to prove harder than he had imagined to spy on the First Officer. All his former command codes had been changed so he could not gain access to any significant systems, and as a fairly insignificant security officer, he could not get access to the bridge or astrometrics. Whoever was possessing his body certainly knew what he was doing. If the imposter did not slip up, then unless he could think of something ingenious to prove who he was, then he would be stuck in this body, stuck with this identity, forever. He couldn't risk asserting that he was really Chakotay again as it was unlikely anyone would believe him. He needed proof, he needed a way to trap the imposter, and he was totally at a loss how to do that.

Suddenly there was a noise in the kitchen, the sound of metal clanging against metal. Chakotay turned around, not realising that anyone was in the kitchen. Apart from Lieutenant Linda Dray and Peter Hawdon, the mess hall was completely deserted. When he was facing the kitchen, he saw that Seven of Nine was responsible for the din. She was wearing a silver apron over a blue catsuit and was stirring something in a large saucepan. A man then appeared beside her and Chakotay gasped when he saw it was himself... The imposter took Seven's hand in his as he appeared to show her how to beat whatever mixture was in the pan. Seven looked up at him, her eyes sparkling, and the imposter smiled as his eyes caught hers. Eventually they broke their gaze and the man's eyes wandered until they rested on Chakotay. At the man's piercing gaze, Chakotay flinched, but he did not look away. Instead he held the man's gaze, determined not to be intimidated. Seven spoke, distracting the man, and Chakotay took the opportunity to turn away. The imposter had to know that he was only playing along, that he was fully aware of his own identity, and how he was going to deal with that, Chakotay didn't know. All he knew was that he didn't want to unnecessarily antagonise him. If he was going to play the game, he had to play it well.

Just as Chakotay was finishing his hot chocolate, Linda Dray and her partner quietly left the mess hall, leaving Chakotay alone. Behind him he could hear Seven and the imposter work, but he was sitting too far away from them to hear what they were saying. Then everything went quiet in the kitchen...too quiet. Chakotay turned around to see what was happening, and gasped when he saw that the imposter was walking towards him. Chakotay glanced in the direction of the kitchen and saw that Seven wasn't there. That meant that he and this imposter were completely alone.

"It's not going to work," the imposter said, taking a seat opposite Chakotay. "You can try, but you won't succeed. I've covered my tracks well."

Chakotay swallowed, but tried not to show his unease. "Who are you?"

The man smiled. "Who do you think? Starts with A, ends with W."

For a long moment Chakotay just stared at him as he absorbed his words, then he spoke. "Then..then I was right. Our consciousnesses were mixed up?"

The man nodded. "A most fortunate accident."

Now he knew that it was only Adam Shaw he was dealing with, Chakotay's fear ebbed. "You can't do this," he cried. "You have to tell the truth!"

"Why would I? I like my new habitation. It comes with certain...privileges."

"Privileges that have to be earned. You're not qualified to be First Officer. You..."

"Neither are you qualified, but that didn't stop Janeway putting you in command."

"I have command experience..."

"So do I."

"But this is wrong," Chakotay argued. "Don't you want to be yourself again? Don't you want your body back?"

"When this body comes with priveleges, no. And, besides, even if I told there's no guarantee they'd be able to switch us back."

"But at least we'd have our 't that mean anything?"

"Not when I can have a better life with this identity. Granted this body isn't as young or atheltic as mine, but I could have done far worse. What this body lacks in those areas it more than makes up for in looks. You're generally considered the handsomest man on the ship, Commander, and I'm thoroughly enjoying that perk, especially when it brings me the attention of a certain attractive blonde."

Chakotay's eyes widened in alarm. Given the way he and Seven had just acted in the kitchen, there was no mistaking who he meant. "You leave Seven alone!"

"So I can what? Hanker after the captain?" He laughed softly. "Surely after all these years you've realised the captain doesn't want you? Why waste time on her when there are other women to pursue? Younger and prettier ones too. No, there are going to be a lot of changes in that department. I'm not going to let a handsome body like this go to waste."

"I won't let you do this!" Chakotay cried.

The man laughed. "And just how do you plan on stopping me? You know as well as I do that if you start saying you're really Chakotay again, you'll be back in sickbay before you can say Bob's your uncle. No one believes you and no one is ever going to. You have no proof whatsoever and I've made sure that you never will. Sure you could try to seek out a Vulcan to mind-meld with you, but first you would have to persuade him, second the meld would have to be successful, and in a case such as ours who knows what the Vulcan would see, and thirdly, he would have to convince the captain. Quite poor odds, wouldn't you say? Especially if you're in the brig."

Chakotay swallowed. "The Brig?"

The man smirked. "If you hadn't noticed, I've been busy over the past couple of weeks. I've changed all the First Officer's command codes...wasn't difficult as while I didn't know them, the computer gave them to me after a bio scan. I've also doctored certain records of our away mission that would, if they fell into the captain's hands, put you in a very bad light indeed."

Chakotay felt sweat ooze between foreign fingers. "In what way?"

"Let's just say a way that will have you very conveniently confined to the brig for the next...let me see...forty years?"

Tears welled in the eyes that were now Chakotay's."Why are you doing this? What have I ever done to you?"

"I'm just looking after my interests. And what happens in your choice, Commander, not mine. You can either accept our changed circumstances and make the most of it, or you can make things very difficult for yourself by crossing me."

"That's not a choice," Chakotay replied. "That's a threat."

"Call it what you will," Adam said, getting to his feet. "It's your call." He looked steely at Chakotay. "And I think we both know which one you'll make."

Chakotay made no reply. He just watched as Adam returned, in his body, to the kitchen. There was nothing he could have said. He was totally trapped. What records Adam could doctor to make him guilty of a treachery, he didn't know, but even if it was all just a bluff, could he take the risk in calling it? Adam had the upper hand and he knew it. All Chakotay could do was make sure it wasn't risen against him.

**END OF CHAPTER THREE**


	4. Chapter 4

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures**

**Chapter Four**

**A Month Later**

After seven years in the Delta quadrant, Voyager was finally home. To celebrate the crew's return, Starfleet Command had organised a special party at a luxurious hotel complex in San Francisco, and almost every crew member was present. As happy as the crew was to be home, the question of what would happen to the Maquis was on everyone's minds, and the celebrations had reached new heights when Reg Barclay had announced, on behalf of Starfleet Command and the Federation, that no charges were to be brought against the Maquis for their outstanding service on Voyager.

From a quiet corner in a magnificently decorated hall, which had walls of oak and a ceiling of gold, Chakotay watched as the crew celebrated their return with family, friends and loved ones. Everyone looked so happy, so radiant, and while their joy warmed Chakotay's soul, he couldn't help feel as though he didn't belong. But he had felt that way since the transportation accident. While he was getting used to being in another man's body, of even dressing for another man's body as he had on this occasion by choosing a light brown suit and cream shirt that complemented Adam's pale complexion, he still couldn't get used to having another man's identity. For the past month he had tried desperately to think of a way of outwitting Adam, but every avenue of exploration had seemed to bring him to a dead end. To make matters worse, he had been constantly plagued by terrible headaches, and was only now beginning to feel better.

Across the floor, Kathryn was talking to a group of people that Chakotay didn't recognise, and he couldn't help gaze at her. She was wearing a long sumptuous gown of cream velvet that fell off her shoulders, a cluster of sparkling diamonds around her neck, and her hair was tied up in an elegant bun. He thought she had never looked more beautiful and was finding it impossible to take his eyes off her. He watched as she took a sip of champagne from a crystal glass in her hands, and the way she smiled at the people before her made him catch his breath.

"Good party, isn't it?"

The voice was Tal Celes's.

"Yes," Chakotay said, turning towards her. "I never expected anything like this."

"Me either. Seems like we're all real famous now...well, the Captain, Chakotay, the Doctor and Seven, anyway. I don't think anyone would recognise me on the street. At least I hope not, because it's not like I would deserve to be famous for anything. I was more of a nuisance on Voyager than anything else."

"You mustn't think that," Chakotay replied. "I'm proud of what everyone achieved on Voyager. We not only survived, but we got home. We beat the odds. And everyone on board was a part of that, you included."

"That's kind of you to say so. But I was no part of it. I'm not made to be a Starfleet Officer, I know that. I know that if we'd been in the Alpha Quadrant, the Captain would never have kept me on the ship."

"The Captain is very fond of you. If we'd been in the Alpha Quadrant, I'm sure she would have tried to help you be the kind of officer you always wanted to be."

"Then she would have needed to perform miracles," Celes laughed. "No, I know when I'm beat. Now we're home I'm going to do something else...teaching, maybe."

In the distance, Voyager's First Officer, who was dressed in a smart formal white suit, danced with Seven of Nine, who was uncharacteristically wearing a gown of shimmering silver satin, and Celes watched them for a moment.

"Do you know if it's true?"

"What?" Chakotay asked.

"That Chakotay and Seven are a couple? Amanda told me that they are, but it doesn't make any sense. I always thought he liked the Captain."

"I don't know," Chakotay said sadly. "But there may be something going on."

"They do seem to be dancing very close, don't they?"

"Yes," Chakotay replied. Too close for his liking, but as long as Adam was in his body, there was nothing he could do about it.

Lieutenant Paul Carter, a handsome young man with copper-red hair, approached Celes and held out his hand to her.

"Would you care to dance?"

Celes smiled warmly and put her hand in his. "I sure would."

The man lead her onto the dance floor and Chakotay watched for a while as they danced to a soft waltz. Before long his eyes were involuntarily drawn back to Kathryn and he watched as she talked to a new set of people.

"Would you like a glass of champagne?"

Chakotay turned to his right and found a pretty young waitress standing beside him holding a small tray full of crystal glasses filled with champagne.

"Yes, thank you," Chakotay smiled.

He picked up a glass and the waitress went on her way. Chakotay was just about to take a sip of the sparkling gold liquid when the sight of Adam and Seven approaching Kathryn momentarily froze him.

----------

Kathryn's stomach sank when she saw her former First Officer approach with Seven. His arm was around her waist and he was grinning like a cat who had just got the cream. He had told her at the welcome-home reception that he and Seven were now a couple and her heart was still aching from the pain of the blow. But, whatever her inner feelings, she tried hard not to show them and forced a smile.

"Chakotay, Seven...Having a good time?"

"Wonderful," her former First Officer answered. "This is the best welcome home party I've ever been too and hopefully the only one."

Kathryn hesitated, but then nodded. "I'll second that." She couldn't put her finger on it, but there was something in the way her First Officer and friend was behaving that wasn't quite right. Perhaps it was his manner, his expressions, his choice of words, but something about him was different. But part of what had always cemented their relationship was the feelings they had had for each other. If he was now in love with Seven, which seemed to be the case, then it was only natural that their relationship was different, more distant. He had moved on, and it was something she was going to have to accept.

"And this is quite an incredible buffet," the man continued. "They sure are feeding us well."

"Yes," Kathryn answered. She then looked at Seven. "If I may say so, you look lovely, Seven."

Seven nodded in acknowledgement. "Thank you, Captain."

"You should wear dresses more often."

"I intend to see that she does," Adam smiled. He then picked up a mini sausage roll from a large pile on a silver plate and Kathryn turned to him just in time to see him take a bite. "Delicious," he commented.

"You don't want to eat that," Kathryn warned. " It's real meat, not replicated."

"Nevermind," the man answered, taking another bite. "The animal's dead already so what does it matter?"

Kathryn flinched. "But you're a vegetarian..."

"Not anymore," he smiled.

"I see," Kathryn said quietly.

"Well," Adam said, looking at a queue that was forming at the dessert table, "we'd better go and get dessert before it's all gone. It will break my heart if I don't get some of that magnificent looking chocolate truffle."

Kathryn nodded, rather dazed at what had transpired, and silently watched them leave. As she did so, her eyes fell on a familar, yet unfamiliar, figure watching her in the distance: Adam Shaw. Across the room their eyes momentarily locked, then Kathryn turned away, breaking the connection.

----------

When her eyes left his, Chakotay saw them look into the glass of sparkling champagne in her hands. The glow that had surrounded her only minutes before had gone now and she looked sad, vulnerable...lost. This was the first time Chakotay had seen her alone all night, and hardly aware of his actions, he crossed the floor and approached her.

"Captain..."

Kathryn looked up at his address and seemed unsettled to see who was before her. "Lieutenant Shaw."

"A great party, isn't it?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Not quite the Queen Liner, but impressive nonetheless."

For a moment, just a moment, Chakotay saw tears well in Kathryn's eyes, then they were gone.

"An impressive buffet too," he continued. "Have you sampled any?" She had been standing here for at least an hour, but not once had he seen her eat.

"No," she answered quietly, "but I..." She gestured to the plate of sausage rolls. "But I hear these sausage rolls are delightful."

There was something in the way Kathryn said those words that made Chakotay look at her. Had she guessed he was really Chakotay? Did she at least suspect? And if she did, was this a test?

"I'm sure they are," he said seriously. "But I'm a vegetarian."

Kathryn paled at his reply, but just as the blood drained out of her cheeks, a light switched on in her eyes.

A cheerful female voice then interrupted them. "Captain Janeway...what an honor it is to finally meet you..."

Slowly, regretfully, Kathryn turned towards the woman. It was Harry Kim's mother.

"Mrs Kim," Kathryn said as warmly as she could. "It's an honor to meet you too."

Chakotay watched from the sidelines as the two women embraced. It looked as though Mrs Kim would want to talk to Kathryn for a while, and if he wasn't mistaken, there were a couple of other people lurking in the background who wanted to speak with Voyager's famous Captain aswell. Not knowing what else to do, he slipped away unnoticed.

Almost everyone was either eating or dancing as Chakotay walked through the crowd, and his head suddenly felt very tender to the music and the chatter. Every day had been difficult since the accident, but this day was the worst. On Voyager he had been able to mostly keep to himself, but here he felt as though he was on display. There were too many people, too many questions, and everything felt as displaced as his soul. Some people had already retired for the night and he felt that now would be a good time for him to do so. It was almost 11pm and it wasn't as though anyone was going to miss him. Adam Shaw had always been somewhat of a loner.

When he reached the open heavy oak doors that lead into the corridor beyond,Chakotay turned around to glance once more at Kathryn. He could hardly see her through the crowd, but he wanted to see her in the beautiful gown she was wearing just one more time. Casting the image to memory, he left the hall.

* * *

As soon as Chakotay returned to the luxurious ensuite bedroom he had been allocated at the hotel, he changed out of the formal clothes he was wearing and ran a soapy bath. Just as he was about to take off his robe and get into the warm bubbly water, the door chime sounded. Chakotay left the bathroom and made his way into the bedroom.

"Come in"

The door opened and Adam came in. There was a look of steel on his face and Chakotay matched it.

"What do you want?"

"Your assurance."

Chakotay frowned. "My assurance?"

"That you will leave this planet before the end of the week."

"Sorry," Chakotay replied. "I'm going nowhere."

Adam stepped forward. "You don't seem to understand. We've gone beyond choices now. If you don't agree to leave by the end of the week, then I'll bring information to the attention of Starfleet Command that you don't want them to see. You'll be arrested, convicted of a terrible crime, and will spend the rest of your life in jail."

Chakotay almost scoffed. "And you expect me to believe that? You can try to bully me with these hollow threats, but you won't succeed. I'm not afraid of you and I won't be bullied."

"Then it's your loss," Adam said coldly. "I'll see you in court."

With that, he turned around and made for the door.

"I will defeat you," Chakotay cried. "I will get my identity back!"

The man laughed and turned to him. "Only in your dreams."

The doors then opened and the man left.

Chakotay took a deep breath as the doors shut behind him and tried not to let Adam's words unsettle him. He was bluffing, he had to be, and bullies could only bully if they went unchallenged. As this method of intimidation had failed, Adam would think of another, and then another after that. All that could be done was to ride out the storm.

* * *

After taking a long soak in the bath, Chakotay replicated himself some toast topped with honey and a cup of warm milk, and went onto the small balcony leading from his room to enjoy them. The air outside was cool and for a while he stood against the ornate terrace and looked out at the city's rainbow lights beneath him. He was on the eighteenth floor and in daylight he was sure the view would be magnificent. Just as he was about to sit down, the door chime sounded again. Thinking Adam had returned, Chakotay didn't hurry to reply. Instead he took a long sip of milk, slowly made his way back into the bedroom, and then put his supper down ontop of a small cabinet by his bed. He then walked towards the door.

"Come in."

The doors opened, but, to his surprise, it wasn't Adam Shaw he saw, but Kathryn. She was no longer wearing the formal dress he had seen her in earlier, but a casual white blouse over black pants.

"Kathryn," he said in surprise. "I mean Captain..."

For a moment, Kathryn hesitated in the doorway, then she stepped inside and the doors closed behind her. "I'm sorry to trouble you at this hour," she said quietly. "But I...I want to talk to you."

"It's no trouble," Chakotay answered. He gestured to a couple of comfortable chairs to his left that were scattered around a low crystal table. "Please, take a seat."

"No..." Kathryn answered. "I'm okay." She looked at him for a moment, and then held out a small white card that he hadn't noticed she was holding in her hand. "I would like...I would like you to read the text on this...aloud."

Chakotay took the card, focussed on the text, and then began to read.

"All that glitters is not always gold."

When he had finished, he looked up at Kathryn. She was visibly trembling and there were tears in her eyes.

"You're really him, aren't you?" She said quietly. "You're really Chakotay."

Chakotay nodded, tears blurring his vision.

Slowly, tentatively, Kathryn bridged the gap between them and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Oh Chakotay..."

Chakotay gently gathered her close and held her in return.

"I'm sorry," Kathryn whispered. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you."

"You believe now," he replied tearfully. "That's all that matters."

They held each other a long time, then reluctantly drew apart.

"I should have known he wasn't you," Kathryn said. "I should have believed..."

"You had no reason to doubt him, and every reason to doubt me. It's not your fault, Kathryn." He paused. "What made you realize he wasn't me?"

"I don't know exactly," Kathryn replied. "But there were things that didn't seem quite right...things he would say, things he would do. It wasn't until today that I really wondered, though. The man at the party just wasn't the Chakotay that I know and..." She was going to say love, but stopped herself just in time. "He just wasn't the same. Then when I saw you...Adam...I remembered about what had happened a few weeks ago...you saying you were really him. I wondered, just for a second, if it was true, but then dismissed it. But then you came over and mentioned the Queen Liner and in that moment I knew...or at least suspected." She had once told him over dinner that, next to an ancient gothic castle, her ideal venue for a party was the Queen Liner, one of the largest and most luxurious ocean-ships in the Federation. "And then you turned down a sausage roll whereas he...It was the only thing that made sense...you really being Chakotay. It seemed so impossible, and yet...and yet the only real explanation."

Chakotay held up the card he was still holding. "And this?"

Kathryn smiled. "Isn't the answer obvious?"

Chakotay looked at the card again, and suddenly the answer dawned on him. "The text is in Yucatec Mayan."

Kathryn nodded. "There's no way Adam Shaw could have read it." She took the card from Chakotay and slipped it into a pocket of her jeans. Then she looked up at Chakotay. "I need to know what's going on here. Is it Adam Shaw in your body or...someone, something, else."

"It's Adam Shaw," Chakotay replied. "I don't know how, but our consciousnesses were somehow mixed up when we were transported back from Cwnra."

Kathryn seemed as relieved in that answer as he had been when Adam had revealed himself. "I didn't know what was happening at first," Chakotay continued. "I didn't know if it was Adam Shaw or an alien or some kind of alternate reality. I thought at first our consciousnesses had been switched, but when he knew you had named the monkey Rascal, that threw me. I presume now it's because he read it in my personal logs, but at the time I didn't think. As I could get no one to believe who I really was, I decided to play the game...pretend that I was Adam Shaw. It was the only way I was going to get out of sickbay. I thought that as a free man I would be able to find out what was going on, but I couldn't find anything out as Adam had covered his tracks well and had changed all my access codes so I couldn't access my personal files, my office, my quarters, or any of the ships systems requiring command level authorization."

"How did you find out it was Adam?"

"He told me. He caught me alone in the mess hall one day and he told me who he was. He said that if I didn't go along with the switch, he would make life very difficult for me and have me sent to the brig. I think he would have done it too. So, apart from hope that someone would noticehe wasn't me, I tried to keep a low profile and think of a way to outwit him. But it was difficult because he had access to all my personal logs, which gave him valuable information about me, and I've been plagued by terrible headaches. They've been better the past couple of days, but they made it hard to concentrate."

"I'm sorry," Kathryn said again. "I let you down and you've had to carry all this alone. But no more. I know now and first thing tomorrow we'll go to Starfleet Command, have Adam taken into custody, and have them figure a way of switching you back."

"It may not be possible," Chakotay said sadly.

"We'll find a way," Kathryn said determindly. "If this kind of switching can happen by accident, it can happen by design."

Chakotay nodded, her conviction inspiring his. "You're right, there's got to be a way."

Kathryn smiled reassuringly, but then looked at him sadly. "I thought I'd lost you, Chakotay. All these years I've thought that if we got home then...then you and I could... But just when it seemed there could be a chance for us, I learnt that you were...that there was none."

Chakotay reached out and put a gentle hand to her cheek. "There's never been anyone for me but you, Kathryn. I've tried to move on, tried to stop loving you, but I never could. I fell in love with you that very first day we met on the bridge, and I will love you until the day I die."

A tear ran down Kathryn's cheek. "I love you too," she whispered.

Chakotay smiled and a tear escaped his own eye at hearing the words it seemed he had waited forever to hear again. He then gestured to the seating area beside them.

"Join me for a glass of Cabernet Savignon? We once said we'd celebrate with the real deal if we got home."

Kathryn smiled. "We did, didn't we?"

Chakotay nodded.

Kathryn made her way over to one of the very inviting chairs and sat down, her eyes sparkling. "Then you'd better have a bottle sent up from the bar. I hear they have a vintage collection."

Chakotay smiled happily. "Right away."

**END OF CHAPTER FOUR**


	5. Chapter 5

**Star Trek Voyager Characters are the Property of Paramount Pictures**

**LOST IDENTITY**

**Chapter Five**

A glass of apple-juice in his hand, Chakotay watched from a sunny window as Kathryn stirred awake on his bed. They had decided to stay up until dawn and watch their first homecoming sunrise together, and after the event, Kathryn had fallen asleep in a wicker chair on the balcony as he went to replicate them a coffee. Not wanting to wake her, he had gently picked her up, carried her inside, and carefully lay her down on his bed.

"Good morning," Chakotay smiled.

Kathryn groggily looked in his direction. "Don't know about you, but I have a definite sense of de ja vu..."

"Yes," Chakotay replied. "A certain morning on a certain planet comes to mind."

Kathryn sat up and put her hand to her head. "Oh my head...feels like a dozen Klingons are doing ten rounds in my brain..."

Chakotay laughed softly. "You did have rather a lot to drink last night. I'll replicate you something to take off the edge..."

"A coffee," she said as Chakotay made his way over to the replicator. "I must have a coffee..."

"That too," he smiled.

He replicated a cup of black coffee and a pre-prepared hypospray and went over to her. Almost before Chakotay had reached her, Kathryn grabbed the coffee and took a long sip.

"Black, just as I like it. Now I know you're really you." She sighed. "Coffee. Not only the finest organic suspension ever made, but my lifeline since the Academy..."

Chakotay put the hypospray to her neck. "This should do the trick."

The medicine began to take effect immediately, and Kathryn's thumping headache began to subside.

"That's better," she said. As the pain subsided, she looked around. "How did I get here? I mean, I remember coming here, sitting with you on the balcony until sunrise, but then...nothing till now."

"You feel asleep while I replicated us a coffee," Chakotay explained. "I didn't want to wake you so carried you inside so you could sleep more comfortably."

"I see," Kathryn replied. "Thank you."

Chakotay smiled. "My privilege."

They locked eyes for a moment, and then Kathryn turned back to her coffee. "What time is it?"

"A little after noon."

Kathryn's head shot up. "Noon? I've slept so long?"

"As long as you needed to," Chakotay answered. "I slept for a little while myself."

"But we planned on going to see Starfleet Command this morning..."

"We can go this afternoon. A few hours won't make any difference."

"I guess not," Kathryn replied.

"How about I replicate us some breakfast...or perhaps I should say lunch? It's a beautiful day, we can eat on the balcony."

"Sounds great," Kathryn smiled. "Pancakes with syrup would be good."

Chakotay smiled in return. "Pancakes with syrup coming up."

* * *

"Those pancakes were delicious," Kathryn said as she finished eating the last of Chakotay's replicated pancakes, "but not quite as scrumptious as yours."

Chakotay smiled. "I gather that was a compliment and not a hint..."

Kathryn laughed. "I guess you could say it was a bit of both. I mean, I'm certainly hoping you'll be around to cook me breakfast in the future..."

Chakotay's foreign eyes moistened at that. "So do I..." He held Kathryn's gaze for a moment, and then looked down. "But we have to be realistic. I may be trapped in this body forever and..."

Kathryn reached for his hand and squeezed it. "What ever happens, we face it together. I can't say it isn't unsettling to see you in another man's eyes because it is, but you are still you. It would take me time to get used to things, but I would." She then smiled teasingly. "And it's not like Adam Shaw is an ugly duckling. If his personality had been sweeter, I think he may well have rivaled you as the most attractive man on the ship."

Chakotay looked up at her. "You mean it? That you could still love me if I'm stuck in this body?"

"Absolutely," Kathryn replied. Her eyes then twinkled. "Besides, I've always had a soft spot for blondes."

Chakotay couldn't help but smile at that. "I love you so much, Kathryn."

Kathryn squeezed his hand again. "I love you too."

Suddenly, footsteps sounded in the bedroom beyond and Kathryn and Chakotay turned in the direction of the noise. Kathryn gasped when she saw Admiral Parker, one of Starfleet's most senior and influential officers, approach with two lieutenants.

"Admiral Parker," she said, getting to her feet. "What's going on?"

"I could say the same," the tall stern man replied, "but it's blatantly obvious."

Kathryn frowned. "I don't understand. What are you doing here?"

The man made no reply and turned to Chakotay. "Lieutenant Adam Shaw, you are under arrest for attempted genocide. You have the right to remain silent, but anything you do say may be given in evidence against you."

Chakotay's stomach sank. Adam had clearly come good on his threat and got to Starfleet Command before he and Kathryn had had the chance...

"Hold it," Kathryn cried. "I don't know what Adam Shaw has done, but this is not.."

Admiral Parker interrupted. "I urge you to be silent, Captain. Whatever you say may be used in court and I need not tell you how detrimental that may be..."

Kathryn tried to protest. "But..."

"Your co-operation would be much appreciated, Captain," the Admiral injected. "I therefore ask you to accompany me to Starfleet Headquarters. If you do not co-operate, I will be forced to arrest you, and I'm sure that is a situation we would both like to avoid."

"I will gladly answer any questions," Kathryn continued, "but things are not what they seem and..."

Again the Admiral cut her short. "This is not the time or the place, Captain."

"But..."

"No more, Captain. This is my last warning."

With that, Kathryn was subdued. "Yes, Sir."

The Admiral hit his commbadge. "Parker to Transporter room three. Five to beam up."

As he spoke, Kathryn cast a concerned glance at Chakotay. Then the familiar blue light of transportation engulfed them and they dematerialized.

* * *

Seconds later, they rematerialized in what appeared to be Admiral Parker's Office.

"Dawson, Fanarby," the Admiral said, "take Lieutenant Shaw into custody...solitary confinement."

The two officers did what they were told and lead Chakotay away. As the doors closed behind them, Kathryn addressed Parker. "Now that we're alone, I must..." She stopped in mid-sentence as a blurry figure of a man in the corner of her eye told her that they were not alone after all. She turned in the direction of the entity and gasped when she saw it was Adam, or rather, Adam in Chakotay's body.

"Good morning, Captain," Adam said, his tone as friendly as ever.

Her senses returning to her, Kathryn turned back to Parker. "What's going on? What's all this about attempted genocide?"

The Admiral gestured to Adam. "I'll let your First Officer fill you in."

At that, Adam stepped forward. "I only remembered this morning, Captain," he began, "but informed Starfleet Command as soon as I could. In short, the mining accident on Cwnra was no accident. Lieutenant Shaw deliberately planted an explosive device that was meant to destroy the small colony settled on that planet. I found him planting it and tried to stop him, but even when I'd stunned him I couldn't stop the device. All I could do was lessen the intensity of the blast. It's lucky none of us were killed."

"I see," Kathryn said, not believing a word of his story for a moment. Adam was many things, but a mass murderer without motive? Hardly likely. "And Lieutenant Shaw's reasons for wanting to kill a settlement of hundreds?"

"I don't know," the man replied. "He said something about the Cardassians. I don't know if he thought they were the Cardassians, given their physical similarity, or if the story we were told by their enemies of how they had killed half a planet of people three hundred generations ago made him think they deserved it. As you know, he is not of the soundest mind."

Admiral Parker spoke now. "A full psychiatric evaluation will, of course, be made before he is put on trial. If he has a mental disorder, he will be given the appropriate treatment. If he does not, then he will face the full severity of the law."

"Based on what, exactly?" Kathryn asked. "All you have is Lieu...is Commander Chakotay's testimony. There are clearly no other witnesses or I would have heard of this before. No court will convict a person for a crime as serious as attempted genocide based only on the testimony of one man, especially when that man, by his own admission, forgot all about the incident for weeks due to amnesia...presumably." The sarcasm in that remark was subtle, but unmistakable. "The case will be thrown out of court and all of us put through the ringer for nothing."

"There is more than my word," Adam said. "I have this..."

He held up a padd and offered it to her. Kathryn took it and with her quick eye scoured the data readings it displayed. "And this is supposed to be what, exactly?"

"My tricorder history from that day," Adam clarified. "The readings suggest a chemical explosion."

"Or natural enviro-chemical fluctuation during the collapse of a mine-shaft," Kathryn reasoned. "In terms of evidence, this is as worthless as your word." She turned back to Parker. "You have no case here, Admiral. By all means have Lieutenant Shaw admitted for psychiatric evaluation, but I suggest you drop all charges against him and forget this matter. No genocide happened, no crew-member perished, and no accusations of foul-play were leveled by the Cwnrarin. Quite the contrary, they took full responsibility for the accident. Voyager's database contains that admission of responsibility in visual and audio record."

Parker bit his lip and almost glared at Kathryn as he was forced to admit defeat. Then he turned to Parker. "Are you certain you have no further evidence or anyone who can back up your story?"

"No, Sir," Adam said, his discomfort apparent.

"Then I'm afraid I have no choice. I will have to drop all charges."

Kathryn sighed in relief. "A wise decision, Sir."

"Hardly," Adam cried. "The man's a maniac. He must be locked up!"

"He is cause for concern, I agree," the Admiral continued, "but if we have no case to convict him, we have no case to admit him for psychiatric evaluation. Apart from this incident, and his former Maquis activities, he has an unblemished record. All we can hope is that things stay that way."

"And if they don't?"

"We'll just have to hope we never come to that bridge so we never have to cross it. As the Captain says, we have no real case." He took a deep breath. "I've made my decision. All charges will be dropped." He hit his commbadge. "Parker to Dawson and Fanarby. There has been a change of plan. Escort Lieutenant Shaw back to my office. Parker out."

"You're making a big mistake," Adam went on. "I know what happened..."

"No," the Admiral replied in frustration, "you know only what you think you know... only what you remembered today. That isn't good enough for a court of law..." He raised his hand to his aching head. "And I don't want to hear any more on this. You're dismissed."

"But..."

"Dismissed!"

Adam relented. "Yes, Sir." He then reluctantly made his way out of the room, casting an annoyed glance at Kathryn as he did so.

As soon as the doors shut behind him, Kathryn spoke. "That wasn't Commander Chakotay, Sir."

The Admiral lowered his hand and looked at her in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

"The man that just walked out of this room was Lieutenant Adam Shaw. Something more than a collapsed mine did happen that day on that planet, but it wasn't an explosion. Somehow when we transported Chakotay and Adam back to Voyager, their consciousnesses were mixed up. Chakotay tried to tell me as soon as he regained consciousness in Adam's body, but I didn't believe him. It was only last night that I finally did. Assuming Chakotay's identity on Voyager had obvious advantages for Adam, and now that we're home, he wants to keep the status quo. Why, I don't know, but he does. Chakotay and I were going to come and tell you today, but Adam clearly got in first."

The Admiral stepped forward. "Are you trying to tell me, Captain, that Commander Chakotay's consciousness is somehow inhabiting Lieutenant Shaw's body, and vice versa?"

"Yes," Kathryn replied. "I don't know how the switched happened, but we need to find a way of reversing it. If Adam is taken into custody, then a simple interrogation will prove he's not Chakotay because he can't speak Yucatec Mayan. Then we can find a way of switching them back..."

"Take him into custody based on what, exactly, Captain?" Parker replied coldly. "One man's word against another?"

Kathryn bit her lip as he threw her own argument back at her. She should have known by now that for every punch she gave Parker, he always gave one back.

"You won your suit today," he continued, "don't push your luck." He stepped even closer, his tall, stout, frame towering over her. "You may, in some eyes, be the Delta Quadrant heroine, but I personally find your affinity for ex-Maquis criminals disgusting. And, quite frankly, I find it abhorrent that of all the decent men on board you would carry on a liaison, of the basest kind, not only with a Maquis, but one of such inferior rank as Shaw."

Kathryn almost scoffed. "Shaw? You think I'd look at him?"

"You were certainly looking at him earlier. I'm not stupid, Captain. I could see plainly what was going on. And it's clear to me that you, Chakotay and Adam have some personal score to settle. Well, settle it alone. I'm not interested in anything you have to say, certainly not about disembodied consciousnesses. I don't believe in consciousnesses being able to exist independently of the brain, so don't waste your breath. There is no scientific basis for such a belief, and I have no time for religion."

Every part of Kathryn wanted to argue back, but she saw that it would be pointless. If Admiral Parker could not help, then she would find someone who could. At least Chakotay was not going to be imprisoned, that was something to be thankful for.

The door-chime suddenly sounded and Kathryn turned towards it, grateful for the interruption.

"Come in," Parker cried.

The doors opened and Dawson and Fanarby brought Chakotay in.

"Thank you," Parker said to the two officers. "You may leave."

The two officers left and the Admiral addressed Chakotay.

"You'll be pleased to know that I'm dropping all charges."

Chakotay glanced at Kathryn and she gave a subtle shake of the head, a discreet message telling him not to speak.

The Admiral bridged the gap between himself and Chakotay and looked at his subordinate disdainfully. "But you set one foot out of line in the future and I'll have you, understand?"

Chakotay nodded. "Yes, Sir."

"Dismissed." The Admiral then turned to Kathryn. "You too, dismissed."

Kathryn gave an acknowledging nod, and then followed Chakotay out of the room.

Just as she was about to leave the room, the Admiral spoke again. "Oh, and Captain, I would congratulate you on your impending Admiralty, that is if you are even aware it is impending, but perhaps commiseration would be more appropriate. You know what they say, keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer. No one can tell me you survived in the Delta Quadrant by keeping to Starfleet regulations. The very way you got home defies that. After seven years of doing things your way, we're going to keep you here to make sure you do things our way. And don't think you have the option of refusal, it will be made very clear to you that you don't."

The words were intended to hurt and they did, but Kathryn would not give him the satisfaction of seeing that.

"If such a promotion is coming my way," she replied as defiantly as she could, "I would not dream of refusing. You forget that my father was an Admiral. I will be honored to walk in his footsteps. Good day, Sir."

With that she left the room and the door shut behind her.

In the corridor outside, Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder. "He aimed that arrow right at your heart, but I'm glad he lacked Cupid's skill."

Kathryn looked up at him and gave a wan smile. It was still unsettling to see another face in place of Chakotay's dear one, but she could see Chakotay in Adam's eyes, and, more than that, she could "feel" him.

"He's never liked me," she said quietly. "I don't know why, but for some reason he's always had it in for me. No matter how much care I took over assignments he set at the academy, he would always find a reason to downgrade me. I think it was something to do with my father, something that happened between them. They made no secret of their dislike for each other." She paused. "He wouldn't help us, but Admiral Paris will. We'll go and see him tomorrow. I don't want to bother him today, not with Tom just coming home..."

"Agreed," Chakotay replied.

"In the meantime, I'll go and see Adam. I don't think he knows I know. If I tell him I do, then he might yield out of fear. It's worth a try."

Chakotay nodded. "But I'll come with you. Safety in numbers."

Kathryn put her hand over his and squeezed. "Deal." She then removed his hand from her shoulder and smiled. "But first let's get a coffee. My encounter with Dragon-Wagon demands one."

Chakotay laughed softly. "Dragon-Wagon?"

"Long story," Kathryn said as they began to walk. "But you have a willing narrator if I have a willing audience."

Chakotay smiled. "I'm all ears."

**END OF CHAPTER FIVE**


	6. Chapter 6

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures**

**Chapter Six**

"No response," Kathryn said to Chakotay as she ended her fourth attempt to contact Adam through the hotel's internal audio-comm system. "It's almost 9pm. Where the hell is he?"

"I guess he's with Seven," Chakotay replied. "I can't think of anyone else..."

Kathryn sighed. "I guess..." She walked away from the comm-padd, agitation growing. "Damn, this is such a mess. This is the first time that Seven's opened up to someone and it's not the someone she thinks. As much as I'm glad for us that we have another chance, I don't want her to be hurt. She doesn't deserve that..."

"No," Chakotay said sadly. "And you're right, it is a mess. I had no idea Seven had feelings for me, if it's really me she's fallen for, that is. Maybe there's something about Adam's persona that attracts her. He's certainly not backwards in coming forward in the romantic stakes." He paused. "But if I had been aware of such feelings...well, I would have done things differently. She's a beautiful and intelligent woman, but I don't...I don't love her, not that way." He looked deep into Kathryn's eyes. "There was only one woman on the ship I was ever interested in."

Kathryn smiled softly at that truth and slowly bridged the gap between them. "What are we going to do? How can we protect Seven? She's so vulnerable, despite her tough exterior, and when all this comes out she's going to feel humiliated as well as hurt. " She clenched her fist. "Damn Adam! How can he do this? How can he hurt her like that? How can he hurt all of us?"

"I don't know," Chakotay replied. "But I've been thinking, maybe we're going about this wrong. Maybe we're being too hasty in trying to deal with Adam before finding a way to switch us back."

"Maybe we are," Kathryn considered. "Any other ideas?"

Chakotay nodded. "Maybe we should just leave things as they are for now. What Adam wants is for me to leave earth so I'll be no threat to him. If I go, then he'll be pacified. You can then talk to the doctor about finding a way to switch us back, and once he's found a way... if he can find a way... I can return and we'll find a way to confront Adam. He and Seven may have split up by then. I honestly don't see their relationship lasting, not now we're home."

"Neither do I," Kathryn agreed. "And it does sound a good idea. I doubt Parker will say anything to Adam about what I said. His disbelief may well be genuine as he's never struck me as the spiritual type, and even if it isn't, I can't see him stirring the pot by being a tell-tale. It could all backfire." She paused. "The only thing is, where would you go?"

"To Trebus. I doubt Adam will go there, and I'm sure I can convince my sister I'm really me." He paused. "I think it's the best solution, for all of us."

Kathryn nodded sadly. "As Admiral Parker said to me, keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer. If Adam feels threatened, he may bolt, and it's better for you to leave than for him to go off God knows where."

Chakotay was just about to reply when the comm-padd on the wall beeped.

"That might be him now," Kathryn said, turning around and making her way over to the padd. When she reached it, she pressed a flashing blue button and spoke. "Janeway here..."

Sure enough, it was Adam. "Hi, Kathryn," he said informally. "I'm just returning your call."

"Thanks," Kathryn answered, trying to sound as natural as possible. "I was just...I was just wondering if you...if you would like to join my family for dinner on Saturday. My Aunt Martha's going to be there and I'd so like her to meet you..."

"I'd love to," Adam responded, "but Seven and I have already made plans."

"I see," Kathryn replied. He was clearly trying to avoid her company, just as he had done for weeks. "Another time, then?"

"You bet."

"Hopefully before you leave for Trebus," she quickly added. The question was a ploy, a means to find out his intent...

"Oh," he said, the question clearing throwing him somewhat, "I'm not going. I mean, not yet, anyway, not for a while. I mean, I don't want to be away from Seven that long and...and it's not like my sister and I were that close and...and I've had so many interesting offers professionally. It's just, it's just not on my agenda for the foreseeable future."

"I understand," Kathryn replied. "And it would be hard, I think, seeing your homeworld what it is now and what it used to be."

"Absolutely, way too painful." He paused, seemingly uncomfortably. "Listen, I'm sorry about this lunch time...Adam Shaw and all that. I should have thought there wouldn't be enough evidence for a court-case."

"You did the right thing," Kathryn said, trying to mollify him. "And I was on your side. I just knew there wasn't enough to convict and didn't want Parker to poke around in our affairs. There's somethings I don't want him to find out." She hoped Adam would buy the excuse.

"Of course," he said. "I didn't think..."

"I guess that's why Adam called me over today," Kathryn continued.

"He did?" There was concern in Adam's voice.

"Yes," she went on. "He called me this morning, said he wanted to talk to me about something. I went to his hotel room as he asked, but had barely been there a minute before nosy Parker came and arrested him. At least I'm supposing that's what he wanted to talk about. I mean, I can't think of any other reason why he'd want to see me. I don't know, though, why he would want to tell me today. It's strange..." She had no idea if Adam knew Parker had found her and Chakotay together, so thought it was better to tell him indirectly, rather than have him find out another way.

"I went to see him," Adam went on. "I...I wanted to give him a chance to confess and...and admit himself for psychiatric evaluation."

"I see," Kathryn said, giving no indication she knew he was fabricating.

"But he just denied the whole thing. I knew then it was a mistake to go and see him, so went to Parker straight away...just incase he did a bunk or something. I guess he was going to try and get you on side somehow."

"I guess that was it," Kathryn answered.

"Well," Adam said, "it's been a long day and I'm bushed, so I'm going to take a shower before hitting the sack."

"Ditto," Kathryn replied. "Thanks for returning my call. No doubt I'll see you tomorrow sometime."

"Maybe. Goodnight."

"Goodnight..."

With that, the connection terminated. Kathryn turned to face Chakotay. "I think he bought it," she said. "I don't think he suspects."

Chakotay couldn't help smile. "I have to give it to you, you're a mighty fine actress."

Kathryn laughed softly. "I am, aren't I? My mother always used to say that in the golden days of cinematography, I'd have scooped a triple Oscar."

"I can well believe it," Chakotay teased. He then fell serious and closed the gap between them. "Adam's not going to feel secure until I'm gone. I'll have to leave tonight."

Kathryn swallowed. "Tonight?"

Chakotay nodded. "He'll think I'm running scared because of what happened with Parker. I'll get myself a shuttle and then go and tell him I'm leaving. It's the only way to make him think he's won."

* * *

All ready to leave, wearing a silver padded jacket and blue bag over his shoulder, Chakotay stood outside Adam's hotel room and rang the door chime. It was a while before Adam answered, and when he did so, he was wrapped in a black robe and looked as though he had been sleeping.

"What do you want?" he said abruptly. "Don't you know what time it is?"

"I've just come to say congratulations," Chakotay said, equally as hostile. "After what happened today, I see you mean business. As I have no desire to spend the rest of my life behind bars, you've got what you wanted. I'm leaving. I've got myself a shuttle and it's ready to go."

A light filled the tired eyes Adam was usurping. "Well..." he said, triumph pervading every feature, "I'm glad you're being reasonable. Where are you going?"

"Where-ever fancy takes me," Chakotay replied. "You won't see me again, at least not for a long while."

"A very long while, I hope. And don't think again of trying to tell Janeway. She's never going to believe you. No one is ever going to believe you."

"I can see that." Chakotay paused. "But it doesn't have to be this way. All I want is..."

"And I don't want to hear it," Adam interrupted. "All my life I've been dealt a hard blow...nothing has gone right for me...not even being a Maquis. But now things have gone my way for once and I'll be damned if I'll let you take that away from me!"

"You are still you," Chakotay said calmly. "No matter whose body you're in, you're..."

Adam shook his head. "No, that's just it...it does matter. And I don't want to talk about this. You said you're leaving so just go! And if you know what's good for you, never come back!

With that, Adam disappeared inside and slammed the door shut.

* * *

Waiting in her hotel-room for Chakotay to report back to her before leaving, Kathryn replicated two portable long distance communication receivers. With only warp-empowerment, they would enable her and Chakotay to communicate directly with each other, no matter where they were, and a simple security encryption would ensure privacy. Just as Kathryn finished synchronising the devices, Chakotay returned.

"All set," Chakotay said as he came in and closed the door behind him.

Kathryn turned to face him. "He still doesn't suspect?"

"Not a thing," Chakotay replied. "Everything's gone to plan."

"Let's just hope he continues to play the unsuspecting mouse," Kathryn said. She picked up a communication receiever and held it out to him. "Here...a comm-receiver. I've synchronised it with one for myself so we'll be able to communicate privately where-ever you're flying and I'm staying."

"Good thinking," Chakotay said, going over to her. "Thank you."

He took the offered receiver, slipped it into his shoulder bag, and then looked up at Kathryn. "Well, I...I'd better get going."

"Are you sure about leaving tonight?" Kathryn asked in concern. "It's late and we were both up until dawn last night..."

"I'll sleep once I feel I'm a safe distance away," Chakotay replied. "It looks better this way...like I'm really running scared."

"I guess...Just make sure you get some rest. Adam's body may be younger, but still needs sleep."

"I will," Chakotay said sincerely. He then put a gentle hand on Kathryn's shoulder. "You look after yourself too. You've worked yourself to the bone over the past seven years. You need to relax and let yourself recover."

"And just how am I supposed to relax," she said, half teasing, half serious, "with Adam in your body and you in his millions of miles away?" She paused "But I'll do my best." She then put her hand over his foreign one and squeezed. "And one way or another, we'll resolve this. We'll trap Adam and we'll find a way to switch you back. I prom..."

A gentle finger against her lip silenced her.

"Let's make no promises. Let's just take things as they come."

Kathryn reluctantly nodded. The future was always a blank page, but this one did not even have any lines. Nothing was for certain, nothing could be guaranteed.

"Well, then," Chakotay said uncomfortably, painfully. "Goodbye, Kathryn."

Tears welled in Kathryn's eyes. "Goodbye..."

For a long moment they just looked at each other, love mixed with longing, pain and regret. Never before had goodbye really meant goodbye. It had only ever meant "see you in a little while." But how long it would be before they would see each other again, neither could dare to predict. At last, Chakotay broke their gaze and made his way over to the door. Just as he reached it, Kathryn called out...

"Chakotay..."

Slowly, Chakotay turned to her, his eyes dull and heavy.

"I'll miss you."

At that, tears filled Chakotay's foreign eyes. "I'll miss you too."

Their eyes locked again, then, without another word, Chakotay turned around and left.

END OF CHAPTER SIX


	7. Chapter 7

**_Star Trek Voyager characters are the Property of Paramount Pictures_**

**Chapter Seven**

"Very nice," the Doctor said as he looked around Kathryn's luxurious hotel-room. "Of course, far above the deserts of a mere hologram," he continued sarcastically. "In Admiral Parker's opinion, I'm nothing more than a celebrated advanced computer program and therefore unworthy of such luxurious hospitality. I'm having to stay with Reg Barlcay, and believe me, as uncomplaining as I am, he sorely tries my patience."

"Pay no attention to what Admiral Parker says," Kathryn replied, a cup of steaming hot coffee in her hand. "He's a cynical and bitter man who tries to spread as much misery as he can. He may be powerful, but he's not popular. As hard as it is, don't let him get to you."

"I don't intend too," the doctor answered. "I have much more important things to occupy my mind. For one, the matter of my name. Now that we're home, it's a pressing matter."

Kathryn couldn't help smile. No doubt being constantly called "Voyager's EMH" in the news was bruising his ego. "How about Reginald?" she teased.

"Very amusing, Captain," the Doctor replied. "No, I have definitely decided on Shmullus...I think...I mean, it's the only name I've ever really liked. The difficulty is a name to go with it. I want something meaningful, something powerful, memorable. Something like Magnifico..."

"Shmullus Magnifico," Kathryn smiled. "It's certainly...memorable."

"Perhaps I will make a grand announcement when I have decided," the Doctor went on. "I've been invited on several live chat shows, and must say I am most looking forward to it." He then fell serious. "Now, what did you want to see me about, Captain?"

Kathryn gestured to a table in the corner of the room. "Would you like to sit down, Doctor?"

"Don't mind if I do," the Doctor said, making his way over to the table. "Even a hologram's legs get weary running at everyone's beck and call."

"I see you are out of sorts today, Doctor," Kathryn said, joining him at the table.

"And why shouldn't I be? Is it too much to ask for a little respect?"

"You're doing it," Kathryn warned.

"Doing what?"

"Letting Parker get to you."

"If it was only him," the Doctor moaned. "But it's everyone. Because I'm a hologram, I'm a nothing."

"You know that's not true," Kathryn said, trying to reassure him.

"It is, Captain. I'm "Voyager's EMH", nothing more. I'm not a friend, not a companion, not a...romantic partner..."

"I see," Kathryn said, everything finally falling in place. "This is about Ad...about Chakotay and Seven."

"No, I..." the Doctor protested uncomfortably.

"I've seen the way you look at her, Doctor," Kathryn argued, putting the cup in her hands down on the table. "You have...romantic...feelings for her."

The Doctor looked up at her abruptly. "And what if I do? But I mustn't, must I? I'm just a worthless nothing hologram. How could she..." He paused sadly, almost bitterly. "How could someone as wonderful as her ever care for a nothing like me."

"She does care for you, Doctor," Kathryn said sympathetically. "It might not be in the way that you want, but she does care for you. She respects and admires you too."

"What I don't understand," he went on, "is why him? He's never shown any interest in Seven...none all these years. Yet I've always been there...helped her, supported her. Where was our great First Officer when she needed someone to guide her? Where was he when she was suffering and alone? He's never cared for her, not in the way I care for her. Harry Kim has shown more interest in her than him. I don't understand, Captain, I really don't."

"Things aren't what they seem, Doctor," Kathryn replied. "In fact, Chakotay is the reason I've called you here today. I want to talk to you about him."

"If you mean regarding a medical matter," the Doctor said rather disdainfully, "then I'm afraid I will have to disappoint you. Doctor-Patient confidentiality prevents me from discussing the Commander's medical status, as you should be fully aware of."

"And I am, but it's on behalf of Chakotay that I want to talk to you. He would talk to you himself, but he had to leave last night..."

The Doctor frowned. "Leave? I saw him no more than half an hour ago in the lobby..."

"That wasn't Chakotay," Kathryn stated.

"I don't follow," the Doctor said, his confusion growing.

"Do you remember Adam Shaw claiming to be Chakotay a few weeks ago?"

"Of course. I'm a hologram, my memory is impeccable."

"Well, he was telling the truth. When we transported Chakotay and Adam back from Cwnra, their consciousnesses were somehow transported into the wrong bodies. Adam assumed Chakotay's identity, because of the obvious advantages, and Chakotay eventually played along so he'd be released from sickbay. I wish I'd believed him then, as this whole thing would be a lot easier to deal with on Voyager than it is right now, but it wasn't until the welcome home party that I finally did. On Voyager it was pretty easy for Adam to avoid me, and keep Chakotay away from me, so I wouldn't get suspicious, but at the party it was clear to me that Chakotay was behaving very much out of character."

"People have a tendency to do so when they are in love," the Doctor said bluntly.

"I'm well aware how being in love can affect us, Doctor," Kathryn answered, "but that's not what's going on here. I thought maybe it was at first, but I know now it's not. The man parading as our First Officer is Adam Shaw, not Chakotay. I know that Chakotay...his consciousness...is inside Adam Shaw's body. I've talked to him, spent a lot of time with him, there's no doubt." She paused. "No one knows Chakotay like I do, Doctor. I'm telling you the truth."

The Doctor was quiet a moment, then he spoke, his tone kinder. "If you say this is so, Captain, I believe you. It would certainly explain a few things, at least regarding the Commander's behavior."

"A many few things," Kathryn added. "I know it's hard to believe, and that scientifically we're still in the dark ages when it comes to supernatural phenomenon, but if there's anything I've learnt over the past seven years, it's to accept that just because our technology can't detect something, doesn't mean that something doesn't exist."

"I agree, Captain." The Doctor then paused sadly. "But as the matter of a disembodied consciousness belongs more to the realm of religion or spiritualism than medicine, if you've asked me here today in the hope I can tell you how to reverse this condition, I'm afraid I will have to disappoint you."

"But if such a switch can happen by accident, it must surely be possible to recreate it by design..."

"Perhaps," the Doctor replied. "But to recreate the process, we would have to have some idea of what went wrong. You checked transportation history for anomalies and there were none. All I can suggest is to re-transport Adam and Chakotay simultaneously and hope when they rematerialize they are in the correct bodies. If not, to experiment by recreating the environment of the mine-disaster, or putting them in transporter suspension and mixing their molecules before separating them again."

"There's got to be more," Kathryn said, the Doctor's suggestions not sounding at all hopeful. "What about that technique you used to transfer Denara Pel's consciousness to a hologram? Couldn't you try that? "

"Denara's Pel's case was entirely different. I didn't transfer her consciousness, I transferred her brain activity temporarily to a holographic body."

"But there has got to be more we can do than just transport and re-transport on a blind hope..."

"I'm afraid that may be all we can do. I will, of course, do my best to explore other possibilities, but I have to be honest and say it's extremely unlikely a scientific solution can be found." He paused. "Where exactly is Chakotay now? I mean, Chakotay in Adam's body?"

"On his way to Trebus. Adam Shaw is no more willing to admit that an accident has taken place now we're home than he was on Voyager. Yesterday he would have succeeded in getting Chakotay arrested for a crime that never even happened, only I was able to talk Admiral Parker out of pressing charges. I hoped that Parker would help us by questioning Adam...all it would take to prove he's not who he says he is is to deactivate translators and ask him to talk Yucatec Mayan...but Parker didn't want to know. So, Chakotay and I decided that the best thing to do would be to play Adam's game for a while. He wanted Chakotay to leave so that he wouldn't be a threat, so Chakotay left last night. The plan was for me to tell him to return once we've found a way of reversing the switch."

"Then I will have to find an excuse to examine Adam...in Chakotay's body...I want to make sure that it is indeed a switched consciousness we're dealing with and not a switched, or partially-switched, brain."

Kathryn frowned. "But would that be possible? Wouldn't their bodies have rejected foreign matter?"

"Adam Shaw had a liver transplant as a teenager. At the time of the operation, he would have received a course of treatment that would have ensured his body did not reject the donated organ, or any future donated organs, biological or artificial, and has subsequently had a course of treatment every five years. Therefore, it is unlikely his body would reject foreign brain matter. It's also possible that the treatment has enabled Adam's brain to be accepted as a natural organ in any man's body."

"I suppose it would make sense," Kathryn considered, " but didn't you perform intensive scans on both Chakotay's and Adam's brains?"

"Yes, and the scans suggested that the right brain was in the right body, but I want to double-check. Adam is an atheist who doesn't believe in any kind of spiritual existence. It's only reasonable to assume, therefore, that he would think this switch was the result of switched brains. He may have altered my program somehow so I wouldn't detect the switch. "

"I didn't think of that," Kathryn replied. "But wouldn't you have found their brains were in the wrong body during your initial treatment?"

"In normal circumstances, most likely, but Adam's transplant treatment may have disguised the presence of foreign matter in both bodies."

"I guess it would be the most logical explanation," Kathryn said thoughtfully, "more so than switched consciousnesses."

"But unfortunately not the safest," the Doctor continued. "Because Adam's body is conditioned to accept foreign organs, if Chakotay's brain is in his body, then his brain will continue to function normally. The worst problem he could expect is headaches, which he certainly has been suffering from, indeed much longer than he should have been suffering from them after treatment for his head-injury. Adam's brain in Chakotay's body, however, is another matter. Chakotay's body may permanently accept Adam's brain, but as his body is not conditioned to accept foreign organs, there is a great risk that his body will, eventually, start rejecting the brain. It might take weeks, it might take months, but without treatment, I'd say there is a very high probability that Chakotay's body will reject Adam's brain."

Kathryn swallowed. "If that happens, then..."

The Doctor nodded. "Adam will suffer brain death and, unless Chakotay's body is either very swiftly attached to life-support or preserved some other way, his body will die as a result."

"Then we can't wait," Kathryn said, anxiety growing. "We have to take Adam into medical custody today..."

"We can't take him anywhere without proof, Captain," the Doctor replied. "If Chakotay was here, I could perform tests on him, but as he's not, I'll have to..."

"I'll tell him to come back," Kathryn interrupted. "Adam is not going to consent to a medical examination, and if Parker's reaction is anything to go by, we're not going to be able to secure his arrest. And, if it is indeed a switched consciousness we're dealing with, then Adam will know we're on to him and we'll only be making things ten times worse. I'll tell Chakotay to come back secretly, and then you can perform all the tests you need. In the meantime, I'll check your program for any recent alterations. In fact, I'll do it right now."

"That would be much appreciated, Captain," the Doctor said sincerely.

"Then deactivate yourself," Kathryn replied kindly. "I'll reactivate you as soon as I've finished."

The Doctor gave a nod and then manually deactivated himself. As he disappeared, his mobile emittor fell with a thud to the seat he was sitting on.

* * *

Two hours later, Kathryn re-activated the Doctor.

"Welcome back," she said as he materialized.

The Doctor looked around, making his bearings. He was standing in a slightly different place than he last remembered. He then looked back at Kathryn. "How long have I been...asleep?"

"A little over two hours," Kathryn answered. "I performed a full diagnostic."

"And?"

"You're right. Your program was tampered with three days after the accident. I couldn't determine the exact purpose of the tampering as whoever did so reversed their actions two weeks later, but without a doubt a tampering occurred. Given the dates and the circumstance, I think we can assume, until proven otherwise, our tamperer was Adam Shaw."

"Agreed."

"I've tried to contact Chakotay, but I can neither establish a connection or transmit a message to him because of atmospheric turbulence. I'll keep trying." She paused. "What are we going to do about Adam? If switched brains is what has happened, he's not only putting himself at risk, but Chakotay's body aswell..."

"He passed the medical examination everyone on board was required to have before disembarking the ship for Earth," the Doctor replied. "Granted the examination was basic, but had there been any significant neural or cellular degradation in Adam's brain at that time, it would have been detected. Therefore, it's unlikely that brain failure is imminent. Adam may also have administered self-treatment in the attempt of preventing Chakotay's body rejecting his brain. Unfortunately, treatment is highly specialized and individually tailored, which means an attempt at self-treatment could either help or make matters worse. As Adam is still walking around in Chakotay's body, I'd say that in this case, if he has made such an attempt, it has helped prevent rejection."

"I don't understand why he would put himself through this," Kathryn puzzled. "He must know there are risks. If there were none, then I can see the advantages in being First Officer, but otherwise was his life on Voyager so bad that he would risk his life to be someone else?"

"Adam contracted a rare Cardassian disease as a teenager," the Doctor explained. "A liver transplant and intensive treatment saved his life, but there was, and still is, no cure. All doctors could do was send the disease into remission. Adam made a full-recovery and is in optimum health today, but there is always a chance that the disease will come back. As with other medical conditions, people cope differently. Some people just get on with their lives and regard the disease as effectively gone, whereas others constantly live in fear of a return. Adam is one of the latter. Even though I've reassured him many times that, given he has been free of the disease for almost twenty years, the odds are in his favor it will never return, he has requested full medicals every month." He paused. "I'd say this, more than the advantages of being First Officer, are behind Adam's actions. He's terrified of being ill again."

"I see," Kathryn said quietly.

"And strictly speaking I am not supposed to be telling you any of this, but given that you are acting on behalf of Chakotay, who is in Adam's body, a case could be made that it is not a breach of patient-doctor confidentiality."

"Without a doubt," Kathryn replied. She then looked up at the doctor. "But as much as I can understand Adam's pain, that doesn't give him the right to claim Chakotay's body as his own. And Chakotay's body doesn't come with any guarantees either. There is always the chance he'll develop Sensory Tremens as his grandfather did, even though the gene has been suppressed, and always a chance that the virus Chakotay and I contracted on New Earth will return." She paused, the reels of her mind turning. "I don't suppose Adam knows about those things...But if he does...if he finds out...he may admit what has happened."

"He may well indeed," the Doctor agreed. "But if I can prove that Adam's brain is in Chakotay's body, then Adam's confession is not needed. Neither will his consent be needed to reverse the switch. As such a case would be physical, not spiritual, a simple transportation procedure would correct the problem."

Kathryn smiled. "Then I'll let you know as soon as Chakotay gets back." She then fell serious again. "But you mustn't tell anyone, Doctor. Adam mustn't know we're on to him."

"I won't say a word, Captain. I promise." A sadness then filled his holographic eyes. "But what about Seven? Whatever Adam's feelings for her, hers for Chakotay are very real."

"I know," Kathryn said, sharing his sadness. "Chakotay and I hoped they would split up before he gets back, but he may get back too soon now." She reached out and put her hand on the Doctor's arm. "I think all we can do is play it by ear. If we have to tell her, we will, but there's no point telling her anything until Chakotay has returned and you've examined him to find out what exactly we're dealing with. There are still a lot of questions. Let's just leave things as they are until we have some answers."

The Doctor nodded.

Kathryn then withdrew her hand and smiled warmly. "Now, as it may be hours before I can contact Chakotay, and there's nothing we can do until he returns, how do you fancy accompanying me to a party I've been invited to this afternoon? We'll be the guests of honor."

The Doctor smiled in return. "It would be an honor, Captain."

"Then I'll get changed," Kathryn said, stepping away from him. "You can wait for me on the balcony. The view is magnifcent."

"Magnificent," the Doctor echoed, losing himself in thought. "Magnifico...Shmullus Magnifico...The magnificent Shmullus..." He began to make his way onto the open balcony. "Or maybe Magnifico Shmullus...Magnifi...Magnus...Magnus Shmullus..."

Kathryn followed him to the doorway and pulled at the handle. "You can think about it while I'm getting ready, Doctor."

With that, she closed the door and pulled a blue satin curtain across it.

**END OF CHAPTER SEVEN**


	8. Chapter 8

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures**

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

**THREE DAYS LATER**

From a black night sky, rain beat down on a quaint Irish cottage that overlooked a sandy shore. Inside the cottage, safely out of the tempest, Kathryn sat before a crackling simulated fire and tried to contact Chakotay. She had not planned on leaving the hotel until all the homecoming celebrations were over, but as it would be too risky for Chakotay to return there, she had checked out of the hotel two days ago and moved temporarily into her Aunt Martha's holiday cottage. For the past three days, every attempt Kathryn had made at contacting Chakotay had failed, and she was beginning to worry. At first she had believed the problem was atmospheric interference, but the turbulence had passed and still she was unable to reach Chakotay. She hoped the problem was just technical, especially as the communication devices they were relying on were standard layman rather than professional Starfleet, but given all the Doctor had said about brain switches and failures, she was worried something had happened to him. If she could only find his ship on sensors she would be less worried, but the sensors on her personal shuttle were no where near as powerful as those on Voyager, and she could find no trace of him. If she did not hear from him by the morning, she would go in search of him.

Just as Kathryn tried again to establish a connection with Chakotay's receiver, a chime filled the air, followed by a computerized female voice.

"Incoming call. Transport Station 1052."

Transport Station 1052 was a station at Starfleet Headquarters.

"Accept," Kathryn responded.

A male voice then spoke. "A Varlina wishes to speak with you, Captain. She requests residential transport."

Kathryn put the communication device in her hands down on a coffee table. "I am not acquainted with a Varlina. Please request identity and purpose of visit."

All went silent as the man did as she asked, then he spoke again. "She identifies herself as a sister of a Seska. She says the purpose of the visit is personal."

For a long moment Kathryn said nothing as she absorbed this unexpected, and somewhat unsettling, turn of events, then she answered. "Very well, I will accept residential transport. Standby."

With that, she got to her feet, picked up her phaser from a cabinet near by, and went over to her security monitor. She quickly modified security settings to allow private transport, and then made her way back to the fireplace to await her visitor. As she waited, she felt her heart pound in her chest. If this Varlina was anything like her sister, this visit was not going to be a pleasant one.

Suddenly, the familiar blue light of transportation penetrated the room, and Kathryn was surprised to see two, not one, figures materialize. One was a Cardassian woman with the same flaming red hair as Seska, and the second appeared to be a little girl. The child was leaning on red crutches and it was impossible to tell from her face what species she was. Her skin was lumpy, her forehead higher on the left side than the right, and her cheekbones were very pronounced. Black hair flowed over a dirty brown dress, but the top of her scalp was nothing but bald uneven ridges. On the child's feet were heavy looking boots, and Kathryn saw that the child's right leg was shorter than her left and was rather shriveled and twisted.

"Captain Janeway?"

"That's right," Kathryn said, forcing her eyes away from the child to the tall woman beside her. "Varlina?"

The woman gave a quick acknowledging nod. "I know you're busy, so am I, so I'll come straight to the point. I'm looking for Chakotay. I was told you would know where he is."

"He's vacationing," Kathryn replied. "I don't know where exactly. He won't be back until the end of the week." Regarding Adam, who everyone still believed to be Chakotay, it was not a lie. Just as she and Chakotay had suspected, Seven and Adam's relationship had ended now they were home, but not even she had thought it would end so soon. According to Harry Kim, Seven had ended it the day after they had returned, apparently on her aunt's advice that a relationship would not be in her best interest right now. Adam had wasted no time in finding someone else, and had left for a short vacation with his new love only hours earlier.

"I can't wait until then," Varlina answered. "I've got a schedule to keep. You'll have to deal with it. I've already wasted enough time."

"Deal with what?" Kathryn asked. "What's this about? Why do you want to see Chakotay?"

"I'd say it's none of your business, but I've just made it so." She gestured to the little girl at her side. "This is Adriena, Chakotay's daughter. I've done what I can for her, it's time for him to take over now."

Kathryn swallowed. "Chakotay's daughter?"

"That's right, Seska's brat. I don't know if you know, and frankly I don't care, but he and her and a thing going a few years ago when she was posing as a Bajoran to infiltrate his crew. Well, to cut a long story short, she got pregnant, had secret fetal surgery in the hope of making the kid look half Bajoran instead of Cardassian, but it went wrong and what you see is the deformed result. Terrified of Chakotay finding out, she told him she'd lost the child and took some time out from the Maquis. She told him it was to recuperate, but it was really to give birth. I would have aborted the kid myself, but Seska was too soft for that. She begged me to look after the kid, said she would be back to sort things out as soon as she'd reported in with Chakotay, but she never came back and I got saddled. I put the kid in a boarding house and she's been there ever since. Don't ask me about her medical history, because I don't know and I don't care." She took a deep breath. "Now, I've got a life I need to get back too. If Chakotay doesn't want the kid, tell him to do what he wants with her. I've done my part, it's up to him now." She hit a badge at her chest. "Varlina to transport station 1052. Beam me up, leave the kid."

Before Kathryn even had time to digest the woman's words, let alone reply, the blue light of the transporter beam engulfed her and she dematerialized.

Dazed at what had just transpired, it took Kathryn a while to gather her thoughts. She then looked away from the empty spot Varlina had occupied to where the little girl was standing. The child was looking up at Kathryn with dull, heavy, eyes, and the haunting pain in them tore at Kathryn's heart. While, for all she knew, this child could be anyone's, her instinct told her that Varlina was telling truth. The child looked about seven or eight, which would certainly make her the right age to be Chakotay's, and beneath the cruel distortion of deformity, her coloring was Chakotay's and she had his eyes. Neither was it unbelievable that Seska could have done what Varlina had said. On the contrary, it was only too believable.

Kathryn cast her phaser to the coffee table, walked over to the child, and knelt before her. Everything had happened so fast that the child's name had completely escaped her memory.

"I'm Kathryn," she said warmly. "Could you please tell me your name again?"

"Adriena," the child said timidly.

"That's a very pretty name," Kathryn smiled. "Do you have another?"

The child shook her head.

"Then I'm very pleased to meet you, Adriena."

Only sad black eyes looked back at her.

"I'm guessing you've come a long way. You must be tired. Would you like to sit down?"

The child nodded again.

Kathryn got to her feet and gestured to the seating area. "Take your pick."

Adriena looked around, picked a chair closest to the fire, and then hobbled over to it on her crutches. All her strength was in her left leg. The right one just dragged behind her. When she reached the chair, Adriena carefully sat on the edge of it, held her crutches close beside her, and looked up at Kathryn.

"A very good choice," Kathryn said, swallowing a lump that had suddenly gathered in her throat. "You must be thirsty too. Would you like a drink?"

Again the child answered with a nod.

"I'll get you a glass of water."

Kathryn went over to the replicator, replicated a glass of water, and then took it over to the child.

"Thank you," Adriena said quietly as she took the drink.

"You're welcome," Kathryn smiled.

Adriena began to drink and Kathryn sat down in a chair opposite her. The child drank quickly, evidently very thirsty, and Kathryn watched her. What kind of life this child had endured she couldn't begin to imagine. There surely could be nothing worse than growing up in a cold, loveless, Cardassian boarding house. They were infamous throughout the federation. They were homes to the sick, the old, and the orphaned, and children who were raised in them were lucky to live to their teenage years. They were breeding grounds for disease, and abuse and neglect were rife. It hurt Kathryn's heart to think of this child growing up in one. If she was indeed Chakotay's child, her life could have been so different. He would have loved her so much and been the best father she could ever have had.

When the child had finished drinking, she held the glass politely in her hand.

"You may put it down on the table, sweetheart," Kathryn said kindly.

Adriena put the glass down on the table beside the chair and then looked up at Kathryn again.

"Would you like something to eat?" Kathryn asked.

The child shook her head.

"Then I'll go run a bath and make up a bed for you," Kathryn said, getting to her feet. "What's your favorite color?"

"Yellow," Adriena replied.

"Then a yellow bed coming up," Kathryn smiled. "I won't be long. Make yourself comfortable."

With that, Kathryn disappeared through a small door that lead into one of the cottage's two bedrooms.

* * *

When Kathryn returned, Adriena was sitting exactly as she had left her.

"Your bath and bed are ready," Kathryn said. "And I've replicated you some warm pyjamas. You're going to be as snug as a bug in a rug tonight."

A ghost of a smile crossed the child's face at that, then she carefully got to her feet and balanced herself on her crutches.

"Follow me," Kathryn said. "Your bedroom is just through here."

Adriena hobbled as quick as she could across the floor into the bedroom, but stopped in her tracks when she saw the room before her. Fluffy yellow covers adorned a luxurious bed, and resting on the pillow was a matching fluffy yellow teddy bear. A soft burgundy carpet covered the floor and matching velour curtains hung at the window. All around the room were pieces of pretty oak furniture, and resting on a chair beside the bed was the promised yellow pyjamas. The child looked around, wonder filling her dull eyes.

"Am I...Am I really to sleep here?"

The joy in the child's eyes warmed Kathryn's heart. "Yes, darling," she answered. "This room is all yours."

The child hobbled over to the bed and carefully picked up the teddy. She studied it a moment and then held it up to Kathryn, her eyes asking the question her mouth dared not.

"Yes," Kathryn smiled. "He's yours too."

Adriena looked back at the teddy and tenderly touched his face, her own shining with happiness. Then she put the toy to her face, closed her eyes, and felt the soft fur against her skin. Kathryn watched, her eyes heavy with unshed tears, and then went over to the bathroom door.

"The bathroom is in here."

At Kathryn's words, Adriena gently put her teddy back on the bed and made her way over to the bathroom. The room was just as cozy as the rest of the cottage, and Adriena gazed in wonder at the sight of a crystal bath full of rainbow bubbles. A yellow duck floated on the water and Adriena laughed at the sight of it.

"Let's get you undressed so you can join him," Kathryn said.

Not sure how the child would respond to being undressed, Kathryn began cautiously. She knelt before the child and slowly began to open the buttons on her skimpy brown dress. When Adriena made no protest, Kathryn worked faster. As she removed the child's dress, she saw that the little girl was painfully thin. There were also stale bruises on her skin, even a few scars.

When at last the child was undressed, Kathryn lifted her into the bath and helped her to sit down. As soon as she was safely in the bath, Adriena reached for the duck and studied it curiously. Then she scooped a handful of rainbow bubbles and watched in amazement as they dissolved on her skin.

"Lovely, aren't they?" Kathryn commented.

Adriena nodded and scooped another handful.

As the child played with the bubbles, Kathryn picked up a dermal regenerator and treated the bruises on the child's frail body. She then picked up a pink sponge and began to wash the child's back. At the feel of the sponge against her skin, the child flinched and tensed.

"It's alright," Kathryn said gently. "I won't hurt you. I just want to wash your back and your neck and then your hair, ok?"

The child hesitated, but then nodded.

* * *

When at last Adriena was all washed, dried, and dressed in her pyjamas, Kathryn helped her into bed. The child gladly lay down in the soft sleeping haven, carefully placing her teddy beside her, and then watched as Kathryn tucked her in.

"If you need anything in the night, I'm right next door," Kathryn said. She gestured to a small yellow dome she had placed on the bedside cabinet. "Just press that and I'll be right here." She then gestured to a yellow plastic cup and a small lidded jug of water beside it. "Help yourself to as much water as you want."

Adriena said nothing, just looked up at Kathryn.

"You'll have to think of a name for your teddy," Kathryn said. "Every teddy must have a name."

The child nodded.

"Any ideas?"

"I like Teddy," Adriena replied quietly.

Kathryn smiled warmly. "Then Teddy is just fine."

Again Adriena made no reply, just looked up from the bed, sadness mixed with wonder in her eyes.

"Well, I think I'll say goodnight," Kathryn said, putting a gentle hand to the child's cheek. "And leave you and Teddy to dream."

The child made no response, and Kathryn gazed at her pitifully for a moment. Then she got to her feet and made to leave the room. Just as she reached the door, Adriena called out.

"Kathryn..."

At the sound of her name, Kathryn turned around.

"Yes, darling?"

"Aunt Varlina doesn't ever want to see me again, does she?"

"No," Kathryn said quietly. As brutal as the truth was, if she was to earn this child's trust, she had to be honest with her. Children had an innate way of knowing when someone was not.

Adriena was quiet for a moment, then she spoke again. "She said that if he wants me, my daddy is going to look after me now. What if my daddy doesn't want me?"

Kathryn made her way back over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. "Your daddy will want you, sweetheart. I'm sure of it."

Tears filled the child's eyes. "But no one has ever wanted me. I don't look right and my leg doesn't work."

"You are you," Kathryn said, putting her hand to the child's cheek. "And you're a very special little girl."

A tear trickled down the child's cheek. "If he doesn't want me, can I stay with you?"

There was so much pain in those words, so much longing.

"Yes," Kathryn replied, tears filling her own eyes. "I'll do everything I can so you can stay with me."

Adriena smiled happily at that, her face a joy to behold.

"Now you and Teddy get some sleep," Kathryn said kindly. "You've had a long trip and we may need to take another tomorrow." If she could not make contact with Chakotay overnight, she would have to take Adriena with her to look for him. There was no way she was going to introduce her to Adam, so for the moment her presence was going to have to remain a secret. As Varlina had arrived straight from Starfleet Headquarters, and they had not yet contacted her regarding the child, Kathryn could only assume that she was the first and only person Varlina had told.

At Kathryn's reassuring words, Adriena turned on her side and hugged her precious teddy. "Goodnight, Kathryn."

Kathryn leant forward and kissed the child's bumpy forehead. "Goodnight, darling."

Then, without another word, Kathryn got to her feet, made her way to the doorway, and turned out the light before leaving the room.

**END OF CHAPTER EIGHT**


	9. Chapter 9

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures**

Chapter Nine

Sitting on a comfortable chair before her bedroom window, still dressed in her new pyjamas, Adriena looked out at a sunny beach. She had never seen a beach before, except in pictures at school, and was fascinated by the way the frothy waves lapped the sandy shore. In the distance, children played with a large black dog, and Adriena wished with all her heart that she could join them. But, even if she could run as fast as the wind like them, she doubted they would want to play with her. No one ever wanted to play with her.

Suddenly, the bedroom door opened, and at the sound of it, Adriena turned away from the window and sat formally on the chair.

"Good morning," Kathryn smiled as she entered the room. "Did you sleep well?"

Adriena nodded.

"It's a lovely day, isn't it?" Kathryn went on, making her way over to the window. "When I was a little girl, I used to sit right where you are and watch the sea too."

"You did?"

"Oh yes," she replied, looking out of the window. "I love the beach."

Adriena turned again to the window, and when Kathryn glanced at her, she saw in the child's eyes her wistful yearning to join the children outside. In any other circumstance, Kathryn would have taken Adriena to join them, but not only did she want to keep Adriena's presence a secret for the time being, there had still been no word from Chakotay, which meant they were going to have to leave in search of him as soon as the Doctor had visited. Before going anywhere, Kathryn wanted to know for certain if Adriena was Chakotay's daughter. If the Doctor confirmed it, which she hoped and believed he would, then not only would she have something conclusive to tell Chakotay, but she would know better what to say to the child regarding both her father and her future. While Adam was still in Chakotay's body, the future was still uncertain, but knowing for sure the child's paternity would be one less confusion.

"Kathryn..."

"Yes, sweetheart?"

Adriena continued to look out of the window as she spoke. "Do children on this planet have to go to school?"

"Yes," Kathryn answered. "All children go to school, unless they are taught at home."

The child looked up at Kathryn at that, hope filling her eyes. "Could I be taught at home?"

Kathryn sat on a narrow windowseat and put her hand on Adriena's thin shoulder. "Don't you like school, darling?"

Adriena shook her head.

"Why not?"

"No one likes me," she answered sadly. "I have no one to play with and the teachers always shout at me."

"Perhaps school will be different here, " Kathryn said encouragingly. "I like you, very very much, and I'm sure many other people will like you too."

Adriena smiled warmly at that. "I like you too."

Kathryn gently squeezed the child's arm, and then slowly drew away.

"Are you ready for breakfast? I certainly am."

Adriena nodded.

"Then let's go and get some. I've made us a stack of pancakes, real not replicated."

"What are pancakes?" Adriena asked, picking up her crutches.

"You'll see," Kathryn smiled. "You'll see."

* * *

When breakfast was over, Kathryn helped Adriena to get washed and dressed in the bathroom.

"I sure liked those pancakes," Adriena said as Kathryn washed her face with a yellow flannel. "Thank you for making them."

"Thank you for eating them," Kathryn smiled. "You will learn that not everyone is partial to my cooking." She affectionately tapped Adriena's nose with the flannel. "I have a tendency to burn things."

Adriena laughed at that and then watched curiously as Kathryn picked up a padd from what seemed to be a very high shelf. Kathryn activated the padd, fiddled with it, and then held it up before the child.

"Tell the padd what you would like to wear today."

Adriena absorbed this a moment and then spoke. "A dress," she said. "A yellow dress."

Instantly, a standard knee-length yellow dress appeared on the screen.

"You can have spots on the dress if you want," Kathryn said, "or stripes, or flowers or stars...whatever you want."

"Stars," Adriena smiled. "Silver stars."

In seconds, silver stars appeared on the dress.

"Now," Kathryn said, fiddling again with the padd to specify size and materials, "I send this through to the replicator, and before you can count to ten, we should have a lovely yellow starry dress for you to wear."

Kathryn transmitted the information to the small bathroom replicator, and then began to count. "One, two, three, four..."

Before she could say five, a beautiful yellow velvet dress covered in sparkling silver stars appeared on a hanger. At the sight of it, Adriena's eyes widened in delight.

"Oh my," Kathryn said, going over to the replicator to pick up the hanging dress, "what a gorgeous dress. I think it's the prettiest one I've ever seen."

She brought the dress over to Adriena, and the child gazed at in wonder, her eyes sparkling as bright as the stars.

Kathryn smiled at the child's joy. "Shall we put it on?"

Adriena nodded eagerly and Kathryn pulled out a small chair she had replicated the previous night.

"Then sit down, sweetheart."

Adriena dutifully sat down, and Kathryn carefully slipped the dress over her head, pulled it down over her underwear, and fastened the zip. As she did so, Adriena tenderly ran her fingers over the soft sumptuous velvet and the glittering stars.

When at last the dress was on, and Adriena was once again standing up, Kathryn stepped away from the child and admired her appearance. "My, you look beautiful."

Adriena smiled happily and tears of joy welled in her pretty black eyes. No one had ever said she looked beautiful before.

Suddenly, a chime sounded and Kathryn put her hand on the child's shoulder. "That will be the Doctor, darling. You stay in here and play with teddy. I'll call you when he's ready to see you."

Adriena nodded obediently and Kathryn kissed the child's forehead before leaving the room.

* * *

"Thank you for coming so quickly," Kathryn said to the Doctor as she showed him into the living room. "I hope I'm not intruding on your plans."

"Not at all," the Doctor replied. "My next live interview isn't until eleven when I'm joining the lovely Donna Marilla on Chit-Chat. Then I'm due to appear on Gob-Goss, after that Talk-at-Three with Jeremy Jarvin, after that Chin-Wag, after that, Let the words flow, a show especially for holo-writers, and after that Spit-it-Out with Gail Garden. I'm not sure what after that, but I'm sure my agent has something lined up."

Kathryn's eyes twinkled in amusement. "Your agent?"

"Carol Minx. I've been invited on so many shows, and to so many public events, that it really was a necessity. Some of us are just too famous to be keep our own diary." The Doctor glanced around the room, expecting to see Chakotay in Adam's body, but saw no one else in the room. "Where is the wanderer?"

"If you mean Chakotay, I'm afraid he hasn't returned," Kathryn answered. "I still haven't been able to contact him and am getting really worried. In fact, I'm going to go after him. If all this is due to some kind of brain switch, then anything could have happened to him. I'm going to take a shuttle and go and look for him."

"If a brain switch has occurred," the Doctor reasoned, "then as I said the other day, it's highly unlikely that Adam's body is going to reject Chakotay's brain. It's far more likely to be the other way around."

"If all was well, Chakotay would have found a way to contact me by now," Kathryn argued. "Something must be wrong. I have to go after him."

"Then I'll come with you," the Doctor replied. "If, in the unlikely event, he has suffered a brain or physical trauma, it's better I'm with you."

"Thank you, Doctor," Kathryn replied, genuinely moved. "I know it's a sacrifice..."

"Not in the least," he answered. "Chakotay may be in need. His welfare is far more important than any chat show, and while I might be the Federation's current number one wonder, I'm still first and foremost a doctor." He paused. "I take it, then, there was another reason for this call-out today?"

"Yes," Kathryn answered. "I had a visitor last night. She said she was Seska's sister and left me a special parcel."

The Doctor frowned. "A special parcel?"

"A little girl. Adriena. She says the child is Chakotay's. I was hoping you could take a look at her. I think Seska's sister was telling me the truth, but I'd like you to confirm it. I'd also like you to assess her medical condition. According to Varlina...Seska's sister...the child was operated on in the womb in an attempt to make her look half Bajoran instead of Cardassian, but the operation went wrong, leaving the child both disfigured and disabled. I don't know what has been done to help her, if anything at all." She paused. "I know I should inform children's services about her, but they will take her out of my hands and give her to Adam, thinking he's Chakotay. There's no way Adam will want her, and if she goes up for adoption, there's no guarantee I could successfully adopt her. Chakotay could lose her for good. Therefore I don't think we have any choice but to keep her presence here a secret for now."

"Agreed," the Doctor said. "Where is she?"

"In her room. I'll go and get her."

Kathryn went over to Adriena's bedroom door and opened it softly. As she did so, she could hear the child sing. She had a pretty little voice that soared effortlessly, but the sweet song stopped when the little girl became aware of the opening door. Kathryn stepped into the room and saw that Adriena was sitting on her bed, playing with her teddy-bear. Her little yellow cup was in one hand and she was evidently pretending to give the toy a drink.

"The Doctor's ready to see you now," Kathryn said.

Obediently, Adriena put her teddy down on the bed, the cup back on the bedside cabinet, and reached for her crutches. She then stood up, balanced herself, and hobbled out of the room.

"Good morning, young lady," the Doctor said as Adriena appeared in the living room. "I'm Dr E.M.H. Shmullus."

Kathryn raised her eyebrows in amusement. "E.M.H. Shmullus?"

"Englebert Magnifico Honaribus Shmullus," he said proudly.

"Very...distinctive," Kathryn said, trying hard not to laugh. "Is this for definite or still in consideration?"

"It is absolutely official," the Doctor declared. "It was decided last night by audience vote on The Night Zone." He frowned. "I'm surprised you weren't watching, Captain."

"As ardent a fan as I am, Doctor," Kathryn replied, "three dozen shows in 72 hours is a little much to keep up with, even for me."

"I suppose I have been over doing it," the Doctor conceded. "I don't want to exhaust my loyal fans. Do you know that I have at least 25 million fans, Captain? Gwen Harper from Discuss-at-Dawn started a fan club for me and already there are 25 million members."

"Wow, you're a superstar," Kathryn smiled.

"So it seems," he answered.

"And I'm glad you've finally decided on a name."

"So am I," he answered sincerely. "Believe me, so am I."

"Now all you have to decide is which name you're going to use in more...informal...situations."

"Already decided," the Doctor smiled. "Which you would already know if you had been watching. To my closest friends and acquaintances, which I hope includes yourself, Captain, I will be known as Bert. Gwen calls me Bert. Actually, Bertie to be precise. She is such a wonderful lady, Captain, and we have so much in common. She is accompanying me to an opera next weekend in Paris."

"A date?"

"If you wish to call it that," he said, a little uncomfortably. He then turned back to the little girl before him. "Now, young lady, let's see what shape you're in."

He opened his medkit, pulled out a tool that looked like a cotton-bud, and held it up before the child.

"Open your mouth, please."

Adriena obediently opened her mouth, and Kathryn watched as the Doctor took a saliva sample. He then quickly processed the sample to extract DNA and performed what appeared to be a parental identity search. The Doctor then began to scan Adriena with his tricorder and performed a series of other tests.

When at last the Doctor had finished examining Adriena, he pulled out a rainbow fruit jelly from his medkit that was wrapped in glittering clear paper.

"That's for being a good patient," he smiled. He then cast a deliberate glance in Kathryn's direction. "I wish all my patients were as good as you."

Adriena took the offered treat and looked at it curiously.

"It's a sweet, darling," Kathryn said. "You take it out of the wrapper and you eat it."

Adriena's eyes lit up at that and she eagerly opened the sweet. As carefully as she could, she popped the treat into her mouth and smiled happily as she tasted the sweet fruit flavors.

"Good?" Kathryn asked.

Adriena nodded.

Kathryn turned to the Doctor. "All done?"

"Yes, finito."

Kathryn then went over to Adriena and put her hand on the child's shoulder. "Then you may go back to your room, darling, and finish your game with Teddy."

Adriena nodded, smiled goodbye to the Doctor, and then made her way back into the bedroom. When she was safely inside, Kathryn closed the door.

"Well," she asked, walking over to the Doctor.

"There's no doubt," the Doctor replied. "She's definitely Chakotay and Seska's daughter."

Even though Kathryn had never really doubted Varlina's words, it was a relief to have them confirmed.

"There's also no doubt that at some point during gestation an incompetent attempt was made at genetical modification," the Doctor continued, "an attempt that is responsible for her present condition. Aside from the surgical damage, however, she is in reasonably good health, although somewhat malnourished and several scars on her body suggest medical neglect and possibly some degree of physical abuse. There is no indication of sexual abuse, however."

Kathryn felt both relieved and reassured by the Doctor's words. It was clear that Adriena had suffered a very deprived childhood, in every sense, but given the notorious reputation of Cardassian boarding houses, things could have been much worse. "Is there anything that can be done to improve her condition?"

"Regarding her leg," the Doctor replied, "a series of reconstructive surgeries should correct the disability, but regarding her appearance, I'm afraid there was too much surgical intervention for natural re-sequencing to be possible. Chakotay may wish to get a second opinion, but in my opinion, the only option is cosmetic surgery. As the child is half Cardassian, half human, the options will ethically be limited to fully Cardassian, fully human, or part both. Of course, as the child's condition is not life-threatening, then parental or guardian consent will be necessary. Therefore there's nothing I can do for her until Chakotay is granted custody...presuming he will wish too."

"He will," Kathryn replied. "I'm sure of it." She paused. "Did you determine her age? Varlina didn't say how old she was and Adriena doesn't know."

"Approximately seven years, three months."

"Which means she was born just a few weeks before we got pulled to the Delta Quadrant," Kathryn said thoughtfully.

The Doctor was just about to answer when a bleep interrupted their conversation. At the sound of it, Kathryn spun around. "It's coming from the receiver," she said, hurrying over to the communication device. "It must be Chakotay..."

As fast as she could, she accepted the incoming call, and Chakotay's voice, or rather Adam's, crackled through interference. "...do you read me. Chakotay to Kathryn, do you..."

"I'm here, Chakotay," she said, fiddling with the device to try and improve the reception. "Do you hear me?"

"Yes..."

"Where are you? What happened? I was just about to come in search of you."

"I...got trapped...in asteroid...belt...been stationary...days..." The connection failed for a moment, and then returned. "Tried to send...word...unable...leaving...now...on way...Trebus..."

"I've been trying to reach you too," Kathryn replied. "You must come back. I've spoken to the Doctor, will tell you more when you get here, but there's nothing we can do until you return."

"Will turn around...be home...few days..."

"I'm staying in my Aunt's cottage in Ireland. You mustn't let anyone know you're back. Let me know when you're in orbit and I'll send you co-ordinates."

"Under...stood."

"Are you ok? Do you have everything you need to return?"

The connection failed again momentarily. "Breaking up...All is well...see you...soon..."

"You too. Goodbye..."

"Bye..."

The connection crackled loudly, then terminated.

"I take it then the search is off," the Doctor smiled.

"Yes," Kathryn said, turning to him happily. "Which means you can go on Chit-Chat after all." Her eye caught the clock behind him and she saw that is was almost 10:30. "In which case you'd better get going. It's almost 10:30."

"Oh, I don't need to rush, Captain," the Doctor said calmly. "As a hologram, it only takes me seconds to dress, and I don't need to undergo the irksome process of make-up like mere mortals. Besides, I couldn't possibly leave without providing you with nutritional information for little Adriena ." He reached into his medkit, operated a small padd, and then handed it to Kathryn. "One shake twice a day should do the trick."

Kathryn took the padd gratefully. "Thank you, Doctor."

"It wouldn't do you any harm to take one either, Captain," he said, closing the medkit. "Call me again if you need me, and let me know as soon as Chakotay returns."

"I will, Doctor," Kathryn replied. "And thank you."

The Doctor smiled warmly. "All part of the service." He then hit his commbadge. "Doctor to studio 1098. Beam me up."

Seconds later, he was gone.

END OF CHAPTER NINE


	10. Chapter 10

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.**

CHAPTER 10

THREE DAYS LATER

A frothy pink nutri-shake in her hand, Kathryn made her way from the kitchen to Adriena's bedroom. Although it was only 6pm, it was already dark outside, and a cold winter wind howled all around the cottage. Kathryn opened the old fashioned oak door and stepped into the room.

"One strawberry and vanilla shake for Miss Adriena," she said, looking around the room to locate the child. At first she couldn't see the little girl, but then she saw her standing before a large wardrobe.

"You're welcome to drink it in here," Kathryn continued, "but why don't you come through to the living room? You've been in here for a while. I'm missing your company." For most of the day the child had resorted to her bedroom at every opportunity, and her constant retreat was concerning Kathryn.

"After my shake," Adriena replied, eagerly eyeing the frothy pink treat.

"Very well," Kathryn replied. She walked over to the bedside cabinet and put the shake down. As she did so, she heard a noise in the wardrobe, a rustling. Kathryn turned in the direction of the wardrobe, her first thought being mice. "Stand aside, darling," she said, making her way over to the wardrobe. "We may have mice."

Adriena didn't budge, just looked at Kathryn in mortification.

"I said stand aside," Kathryn said firmly, but gently.

Slowly, reluctantly, Adriena moved away from the wardrobe. When the child was no longer an obstruction, Kathryn reached for the handles and pulled open the doors. What she saw inside made her gasp. Sitting on a pile of old blankets, looking up at her with large brown eyes, was a scruffy little black dog. Next to the animal, leaning over awkwardly, was a bowl full of water, and beside that a few scraps of bread.

"What's this?" Kathryn asked, turning to Adriena.

"A dog," Adriena replied quietly.

"I can see that," Kathryn answered. "But what's it doing in here?"

Adriena made no reply.

"Adriena?"

Tears flooded the child's eyes and she began to tremble.

Kathryn was just about to ask again, when a communication-chime filled the room.

"I'll be right back," Kathryn declared. "And then I want some answers, young lady."

With that, she left the room.

* * *

"Computer, accept incoming transmission," Kathryn said as she entered the living room.

_"Transmission accepted. Audio and Visual."_

Seconds later, a small screen illuminated on the chimney breast and a familar, yet now unfamiliar, face looked back at her...the face of Voyager's former First Officer...Chakotay's face.

"Hi Kathryn," Adam said.

"Hi," Kathryn replied, surprised at this turn of events. Adam was the last person she expected to be hearing from as he was constantly going out of his way to avoid her. "Back from your trip?"

"Got back last night. Look, I've got myself an apartment...complex 559... and am at a loose end. How about you come over?"

There was something unsettling in Adam's manner, something more than usual. What exactly it was, Kathryn couldn't pinpoint, but he seemed rather agitated, jumpy, and looked as though he had been drinking.

"I...I can't today," Kathryn replied, racking her brains for an excuse. "I'm having dinner with family."

"Too bad. How about tomorrow? I've got..." Adam stopped mid-sentence and raised his hand to his brow, as though he was in pain.

Kathryn stepped closer to the screen. "Are you ok?"

"Fine," Adam replied. "Just a headache...probably roo much sun these past few days..."

Kathryn swallowed. What if Chakotay's body was beginning to reject Adam's brain? If he did not receive medical treatment in time, both his brain, and Chakotay's body, could die.

"Actually, I might skip dinner with my family," Kathryn said. "I've been unindated with family dinners since we returned, and as much as I love them, there's only so much of my Aunt Martha's recipes, and my Uncle Ben's art, I can take in one week."

A door chime suddenly sounded, forcing Kathryn to cut the conversation short.

"That's the door. See you in a couple of hours?"

"Ok. See you then."

The connection terminated and Kathryn made her way over to the front door. Before opening it, she peeped into a security monitor and saw that her guest was Tuvok.

"Tuvok," she smiled, opening the door. "What a surprise. Come in. It's a tempest out there."

"I hope I'm not disturbing you," Tuvok said as he stepped into the warm cottage. "I'm leaving for Vulcan in the morning and did not want to go without saying goodbye."

"And I'm glad of it," Kathryn replied. She gestured to the seating area. "Please, have a seat. Tell me how the mind-meld with your son went."

Tuvok's son was teaching at the Academy and had been present amongst the crowd of family and friends that had greeted Voyager's crew when they finally returned to Earth. Tuvok had wished to prepare for, and perform, the mind-meld that he hoped would cure his condition before leaving for Vulcan to see his wife and the rest of his family.

"It went well," Tuvok answered as he sat down before the fire. "I am cured."

"That's wonderful," Kathryn smiled. "Truly wonderful."

"I can now continue to serve in Starfleet, and I hope I will continue to serve with you."

Kathryn slowly sat opposite him and looked at him sadly. "Working with you has been one of the greatest privileges of my life," she said sincerely, "but I'm afraid it may not be possible for us to continue working together." She paused. "As you know, Starfleet Command are planning a Welcome Home extravaganza for us next month, and I've been told that many of our crew-members are going to be promoted for their dedicated service and bravery on Voyager. I am going to be promoted to an Admiral and I suspect you will be offered promotion to Captain. There will be little opportunity for us to work together."

"I have already declined promotion," Tuvok replied. "I have been away from my family too long and do not desire to captain a vessel. My wish is to work on Earth, and anticipating your promotion to the admiralty, I have requested appointment at your service."

Tears filled Kathryn's eyes at that. "Then I look forward to many more years serving with you."

"As do I."

There was a moment of warm silence, then Kathryn spoke again. "Can I get you a drink?"

"A glass of water would be gratefully received."

Kathryn got to her feet. "Coming right up."

She went over to the replicator, replicated a glass of water, and then took it over to the Vulcan.

"Thank you, Captain," he said as he took the glass.

"You must forgive my bad manners," Kathryn said as she stepped away, "but there's something I need to attend to. I'll be right back."

"I am disturbing you," Tuvok stated.

"No," Kathryn replied. "Please...I won't be long."

With that, she disappeared into Adriena's bedroom.

* * *

Neither Adriena or the dog were anywhere to be seen when Kathryn stepped into the bedroom. Thinking Adriena might be in the bathroom, Kathryn went to look, but found the small room empty too. As she made her way back into the bedroom, Kathryn's eyes fell on the wardrobe. There was no way that Adriena could have left the room, so she had to be hiding. There was no where better to hide than the wardrobe. Slowly, Kathryn went over to the wardrobe and opened it. Sure enough, huddled up inside, cuddling the curly black dog, was Adriena. Her eyes were red raw from crying and her cheeks were stained with tears.

Kathryn knelt down to the child's level, pity flooding her heart.

"What are you doing in here, darling?"

Adriena made no reply, just buried her head in the animal's coat.

"All I want is for you to tell me where you got the dog," Kathryn said kindly. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'd never hurt you."

At that, Adriena turned her head to the side, but still concealed her face. "He was outside," she said quietly.

"On the beach?"

Adriena nodded.

"How did he get inside?"

Silence

"Adriena?"

"I...I let him in through the window," she confessed.

"I see," Kathryn replied. "How long has he been here?"

"Since last night."

That explained the child's mysterious behavior all day. "It isn't right to keep him in here, sweetheart," Kathryn said. "But you know that, don't you? His family must be missing him terribly."

"He has no family," Adriena replied.

"We saw him playing with children the other day," Kathryn reminded her. "He most likely belongs to one of them."

Adriena shook her head. "I watched them...they left him. He was in the rain...getting dark...no where to go. I opened the window...he came...jumped in. I told him I'd look after him."

Her little hand stroked the dog tenderly as a tear fell into his fur.

"Why didn't you tell me about him?" Kathryn asked.

No answer.

"Adriena?"

"I was afraid you'd send him away."

"I wouldn't do that," Kathryn replied. "Not if he has no where to go." She paused. "Let me see him, sweetheart. He might have a collar or a chip that will tell us if he has an owner."

Adriena only held the precious dog closer.

"I won't hurt him or send him away," Kathryn tried to reassure her. "I promise."

Adriena looked up at Kathryn at that, a battle taking place in her eyes, but at last she relented and held out the dog.

"Hey little fellar," Kathryn said as she took the dog in her arms. "What have you been up to? Do you have a collar?"

A quick glance at his neck told her he did not.

"No collar," Kathryn said, studying the dog closer. He was very thin, too thin, and his coat was shabby. "Let's see if he's chipped." She put the dog to the floor, got to her feet, and went into the bathroom. Seconds later, she returned with a tricorder and quickly scanned the dog.

"No chip either," she said. "You may be right, sweetheart. He might not have a home." She tickled the dog's ear. "I'll call the local animal-shelter in the morning and see if anyone has reported him missing. In the meantime, he'll be our guest."

Adriena's eyes lit up at that. "You mean he can stay?"

Kathryn nodded. "For the moment." She then got to her feet and held her hands out to the child. "Now, let's get you out of this wardrobe."

Adriena reached for Kathryn's offered hands, pulled herself upright, and hopped out of the wardrobe. As the child turned to grab her crutches, Kathryn knelt again. "Wait," she said gently. "Give me a hug first."

Adriena turned back to Kathryn at that and looked at her vacantly. Kathryn opened her arms to the little girl, but the child just stared at her blankly. Kathryn edged closer, gently wrapped her arms around the child, but Adriena's arms just hung at her side.

"You put your arms around me too," Kathryn whispered.

Tentatively, Adriena responded and slipped her arms around Kathryn. Then, instinctively, she lay her head on Kathryn's shoulder.

"That's it," Kathryn said, kissing the child's hair. "That's all there is to it."

At Kathryn's tender embrace, Adriena closed her eyes and let herself melt into this new, warm, safe haven.

* * *

"Sorry to have kept you," Kathryn said to Tuvok when she returned to the living room.

"I did not realise you already had company," the Vulcan replied. "Babysitting?"

Kathryn frowned. How did Tuvok...? Of course, his superior senses...

"In a manner of speaking," Kathryn replied. She paused. "In fact, I could do with your help."

"Glad to be of assistance in anyway I can," Tuvok said, getting to his feet.

"You may find this hard to believe," Kathryn began, "but the man parading as our First Officer is not Chakotay. He's Adam Shaw. Somehow, I don't know how, their consciousnesses or brains were mixed up when we transported them back from Cwnra. For various reasons, Adam has assumed Chakotay's identity and is refusing to admit a switch has taken place. There's nothing we can do without necessary proof, and without Adam's co-operation, that proof's hard to come by. Already Adam has tried to have Chakotay arrested, and we thought it would be best to lure him into a false sense of security by having Chakotay leave. We thought at the time we were dealing with switched consciousnesses, but the Doctor thinks switched brains is more likely as Adam had a transplant some years ago that has enabled his body to host foreign organs. Chakotay's body, however, is not so conditioned and there's a chance it will reject Adam's brain. Adam called me earlier...just as you were arriving...and wanted me to come over. He didn't look well and I'm worried the rejection has started. I can't not go, just incase it has, but I have no one to look after Adriena. Could you? I wouldn't ask, but there's lives at stake."

"I will gladly look after the child," Tuvok replied. "And I do not find it hard to believe. The Commander has been acting most strangely of late."

"There's one more thing," Kathryn went on. "The child...she's Chakotay's daughter."

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow. "I was not aware the Commander has a daughter."

"Neither is he. And neither was I until a few days ago. Her mother is...was...Seska, and she kept the child's existence a secret from Chakotay because of a botched surgical attempt to make the child look half-Bajoran instead of Cardassian when she was in the womb. As a result, Adriena was born with various defects." She paused. "Until everything is sorted with Chakotay and Adam, I don't want anyone to know she's here. It would...unnecessarily complicate things."

"I understand, Captain," Tuvok answered. "And, as always, you can count on my silence."

Kathryn smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Tuvok."

* * *

It was mid-day in California when Kathryn arrived at Adam's apartment complex, and as she waited for Adam to answer the door, she looked out at a large park through a long window. She was dressed casually, but smartly, in a black jacket over a beige dress, and in a small black bag that hung over her left shoulder, was a phaser...just incase. At last the door opened and Adam appeared. His, or rather Chakotay's, face was flushed and he was shaking.

"Kathryn," he said, "Come in."

"You don't look well," Kathryn said as she entered the room. "I'll call the Doctor..."

"No," Adam cried, shutting the door. "I'm fine. Just fine."

"You don't look fine...quite the contrary."

Before she knew it, her back was against the wall and Adam was pinning her firmly against it.

"I said I'm fine, understand? Fine! Fine! Fine!"

"You need the doctor," Kathryn persisted. "This is not..."

"No doctor," he yelled, his hand at her throat. "Got it! Got it!"

"You'll die," Kathryn cried. "Chakotay's body is rejecting your brain!"

At those words, Adam froze. Then he stepped away, panting. "You know. Damn it! You know!"

Now that she was out of Adam's clutches, Kathryn discretely tried to open her bag and withdraw her phaser. However, before she could get it, Adam lurched towards her and knocked the bag from her hand, sending it flying across the room.

"How long have you known," he cried, seizing her again. "How long?"

"It doesn't matter," Kathryn answered. "What matters is that you get medical attention. If you don't, you'll die..."

"I'd rather die than be me again," he cried. "I won't be sick again, I won't!"

"But this is wrong. You have no right to usurp Chakotay's body like this..."

"I have every right," he shouted. "Chakotay's body is my body now, mine! And I won't let you or anyone else take it away from me!"

"What use is Chakotay's body to you if you're dead? You must..."

"I'm not going to die," he cried. "I've fixed things. All done. You're the one whose going to die. You! I won't let you destroy my life. Not again!"

Kathryn tried to break free from his grasp, but Chakotay's strong body was even stronger in Adam's delirium.

"There's no point struggling," Adam cried, ripping off her jacket. "You're weak. You've always been weak. You're nothing but a weak woman...nothing but weak Starfleet trash. I should have made you pay years ago for what you tried to do to us. Chakotay should have been captain of Voyager, not you! You had no right to stop us avenging the deaths of those we loved, had no right to destroy the array and trap us all in the delta Quadrant. You had no right, no right!" He pushed her harder again the wall and squeezed her throat with his hand. "How could you? How coud you do that?"

Still struggling, Kathryn's hand brushed against her commbadge and she called out breathlessly. "Janeway... to... the...Doctor..." She could say no more as Adam put his hand over her mouth, silencing her. He was dripping with sweat now and his eyes were distracted, glazed.

"I'm going to make you pay," he cried. "I'm going to make you suffer like they suffered!"

Suddenly, the Doctor's voice sounded through the commbadge. "Captain...Captain?"

Adam tore off the commbadge and threw it across the room.

"Please," Kathryn cried as Adam let go of her mouth. "You must..."

"Shut-up," he screamed, banging her head against the wall. "Shut-up, shut-up!"

The next thing Kathryn knew, she was falling to the floor, hands squeezing her throat. Then colours swirled before her eyes and all went black.

END OF CHAPTER TEN


	11. Chapter 11

Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of paramount pictures

CHAPTER 11

Fighting sleepy medication, Kathryn lay in a bed at Starfleet Headquarters Sanatorium and waited impatiently for the Doctor to arrive. One moment she had been struggling with Adam, the next she had woken up in this sterile secluded room. How she had got here, she didn't know, and the young nurse on duty had only told her that Doctor Shmullus would be with her as soon as he could. The nurse had told her to try and sleep, but sleep was the last thing she wanted to do. She wanted to know what had happened...how she had ended up here...what had happened to Adam...to Chakotay's body...

At last, silver double doors leading into the room opened and the Doctor appeared.

"Captain," he smiled. "Welcome back."

Kathryn tried to sit up, but her whole body protested in pain. "What happened?" she asked anxiously. "How did I get here? What's happened to Adam?"

"Relax, Captain," the Doctor said, reaching the bed. "Everything's under control. After you called me, clearly in distress, I tracked your location and transported immediately. Thanks to my impeccable timing and holographic imperviousness to physical harm, I was able to stop Adam choking the life out of you and sedate him. I then had you both transported here, ordered your cases to be classified, and Admiral Paris gave the necessary approval. Once I had treated you, I went to treat and exam Adam. In fact, that's where I've been until now." He paused. "The tests confirm what I suspected. The brain in Chakotay's body belongs to Adam. The left lung and pancreas are also his."

Kathryn was silent a moment as she absorbed this, then she spoke. "What's his condition? The attack...was his brain being rejected?"

"Yes," the Doctor answered, "stimulating irrational and aggressive behavior. Tests indicate that some time over the past two days Adam has attempted self transplant conditioning treatment. Unfortunately, rather than preventing foreign organ rejection, it induced it." He paused. "I'm afraid his prognosis is not good. He has suffered a severe brain haemorrhage and is in a coma. It's unlikely he will ever regain consciousness."

"I see," Kathryn said quietly. As angry as she was with Adam for what he had put them all through, a part of her also felt sorry for him. In his short life he had known too much pain and not enough happiness. She wished that, somehow, things could have been different. "What of Chakotay's body?"

"In no danger," the Doctor reassured her. "However, even though we now know for sure what has happened, and can easily correct the switch, to do so at the moment would jeopardise any chance Adam has of recovery. The disturbance would most likely cause instant brain death."

"Then we'll wait," Kathryn answered. "If there's any chance Adam can pull through, we have to help him." She paused. "When can I get out of here?"

"You've suffered a serious blow to the head, Captain," the Doctor explained, "aswell as a fractured collar bone, three cracked ribs, and multiple neck and throat injuries. You're going no where for at least 12 hours."

"But I left Adriena with Tuvok," Kathryn protested, "and he's leaving for Vulcan in the morning..."

"Not anymore," the Doctor clarified. "He has postponed his trip."

"You've spoken with him?"

"Yes...or rather he has spoken with me. He tried to contact you about 30 minutes ago, but as I had your commbadge after retrieving it from Adam's apartment, he got through to me. He was concerned for your welfare, and, as I guessed you must have left the child with some trusted person, I figured it had to be him. I told him what had happened and he said he would look after Adriena for as long as need be."

"I can't have him do that," Kathryn said, trying to sit up again. "He's waited..." Her words faded into a murmur of pain as she tried to get out of the bed.

"And can wait a little longer," the Doctor said firmly. "Now, lie down and lie still. You're in no fit state to care for yourself, let alone a child."

The pain giving her no choice but to obey, Kathryn lay back down and closed her eyes. The Doctor then put a hypospray to her neck. "This will ease the pain and send you to sleep."

The medicine began to take effect immediately and Kathryn's body relaxed. "I'm sure glad I'm not one of Chakotay's boxing opponents," she said, falling asleep. "One round was enough for..." She was about to say 'me', but sleep claimed her.

* * *

Before a midnight fire, Tuvok converted the sofa into a comfortable bed. As he was unrolling a thick quilt he had just replicated, he heard Adriena hobble across her bedroom floor. Moments later, the door opened and she stood in the doorway. Tuvok put down the quilt in his hands and turned to her. "I thought you were asleep, young lady."

Adriena made no reply, just looked at him with dull, heavy, eyes.

"Is there anything I can get you?"

"I want Kathryn," Adriena replied. "Why isn't she back yet?"

Tuvok gestured to the couch. "Please, take a seat."

Adriena shook her head as tears welled in her eyes. "I want Kathryn!"

"The Captain will not be returning tonight," Tuvok said matter-of-factly. "She has suffered a head-injury and is receiving medical care. I am thus your guardian in her absence."

"I don't want you," Adriena cried. "I want Kathryn!"

"That is not possible."

Adriena's nose crinkled in anger and her eyes boiled with pain and frustration. "I want her! I want her!" She then began to slam her crutch against the floor. "I want her!"

"Please," Tuvok said, stepping closer. "Control yourself. This agitation does no good."

Tears streamed down the child's face now. "I won't stop 'till she comes. I won't! I want her, I want her!"

"Please," Tuvok beseeched, the child's behavior greatly disturbing his Vulcan calm, "this is no way for a little girl to behave..."

"I mean it," Adriena yelled. "I won't stop 'till she comes! I won't! I'll be naughty! I'm telling you, I will!"

Angrily, she raised up her crutch and in one ferocious swoop knocked everything off a nearby elegant oak cabinet. The objects crashed to a wooden floor and a couple of antique plates smashed.

"Adriena!" Tuvok cried. "Stop this!"

"No!" She screamed. "I want Kathryn, I want her! I want her! I want her!"

Then, as though she could shout no more, she slid to the floor, sobbing painfully, and lay on her front, burying her head in her hands.

Tuvok said nothing, just let her cry. Being a non-Vulcan humanoid, he knew she had exhausted her emotions and needed the release. He watched her cry for a while, then he went over to the mess she had made on the floor. One by one he put the objects back on the cabinet, and then picked up the broken pieces of plate. He lay them carefully on the cabinet and arranged them into a whole like a jigsaw.

Just as he was finishing, Adriena sat up, her eyes and cheeks red. Her little black dog was now beside her, and the child picked him up. Cuddling him, she looked up at Tuvok.

"I want Kathryn."

"You have made that abundantly clear," Tuvok replied. "But, as I said, the Captain will not be home tonight."

After putting the last broken piece in place, Tuvok went over to the child.

"It is late and I suggest you go back to bed."

Adriena shook her head. "Not until Kathryn comes."

Tuvok saw it would be futile to argue, so he humored the child instead. "As you wish." He turned away and walked back over to the sofa. "I will finish making my bed."

He carefully made up the bed and Adriena watched his every move. When he was finished, Tuvok went over to a chair and picked up a book he had previously been reading. "I will continue to read now. You may watch."

Adriena's nose crinkled again and fresh tears welled in her eyes. "I hate you," she cried. "I hate you!"

Tuvok opened his book. "I appreciate the honesty."

Adriena bit her lip as anger boiled again and she put down the dog in her arms. Angrily, she reached for her crutches and heaved herself upright. "You'll be sorry, you funny looking freak! I'll make you sorry, I will!"

With that, she raised up her crutch again and knocked everything off the cabinet for a second time. Once again the items crashed to the hard floor, clanging and breaking as they did so. Adriena then turned around and hurried into her bedroom. The dog followed her, and, as soon as they were both inside, the door slammed shut with a resonating bang.

* * *

THE FOLLOWING AFTERNOON

"I really appreciate you going out of your way to help us like this," Kathryn said to Tuvok as she arrived at the cottage, with her mother, after finally having permission to leave the sanatorium. "I can't thank you enough."

"No need for thanks, Captain," Tuvok said sincerely. "I was glad to be of assistance."

"Well, I thank you anyway," Kathryn replied. "And I'm sure Chakotay will want to when he gets back." She looked around. "Is Adriena in her room?"

Tuvok nodded. "And has been there since last night. All efforts to entice her from seclusion have failed. She is a most tempestuous child, Captain."

Kathryn frowned. "Doesn't sound like her. What happened?"

"She reacted most violently when I told her you would not be coming home. First she began shouting, then she knocked everything off the yonder cabinet with her crutch, breaking two items, and then she lay on the floor crying. Afterwards, she said she hated me, insulted me, and knocked everything off the cabinet again, breaking another item. She then disappeared into her room and has been there ever since."

"I see," Kathryn replied. "I'm sorry, Tuvok. I had no idea she was prone to such behavior."

"Given her background and heritage, it is perhaps to be expected, Captain."

"Perhaps," she considered.

"I have placed the broken items on top of the cabinet."

"Thank you," Kathryn said, looking in the direction of the cabinet. She saw pieces of china neatly laid out on the oak and a quick glance of the surviving objects told her that a nineteenth century vase was amongst the casualties.

"Well, I had best be leaving," Tuvok continued. "Please keep me informed of developments."

"I will," Kathryn said, going over to the front door to show him out. "And thank you again."

Tuvok joined her at the door and held out his hand to her in a formal goodbye gesture. "Goodbye, Captain."

Kathryn took his hand in hers and shook it. "Goodbye, Tuvok."

The Vulcan then left for his shuttle and Kathryn closed the door behind him.

"Your Aunt Martha is going to be devastated," Gretchen said as she went over to the cabinet. "This vase was her pride and joy."

"I'll get it fixed," Kathryn said, walking over to her mother. "She'll never know."

"This child sounds very disturbed," Gretchen said, turning to her daughter. "Are you sure it's right to keep her here like this? There are people better qualified to deal with her..."

"But not better qualified to love her," Kathryn argued. "She's lived God knows what kind of deprived, affectionless, lonely, life. All she needs is to be loved." Kathryn put her hand on her mother's shoulder. "Why don't you brew us a nice pot of tea while I tell her I'm back?"

Gretchen nodded. "Alright." She then put her hand over her daughter's. "Just be careful, darling. I know that beneath that tough Starfleet heart of yours is a soft one all too easy to break. You say you love Chakotay, and I don't doubt for a moment that you do, but the question is does he love you as much? He has a troubled past, a criminal record, and has fathered a child with a woman he clearly didn't have a quality relationship with. I don't want you to get hurt, darling. You deserve a man who will love you deeply and truly."

"And Chakotay does," Kathryn replied. "He's the kindest, most loyal, most gentle man I've ever known. No man could love me more." She squeezed her mother's hand. "When you meet him, you'll see for yourself. The only Chakotay you've met is Adam, and believe me, it would be difficult to find two different men. He would never do anything to hurt me and will be a wonderful father to Adriena. There's no need to worry."

Gretchen smiled wanly. "I can't help it. I'm your mother." Her eyes moistened. "And I've just got you back after thinking I'd lost you forever..."

"I know," Kathryn said quietly. "But you'll love Chakotay, I promise."

* * *

Adriena was lying on her bed, face down in her pyjamas, when Kathryn entered the bedroom. At the foot of the bed was the little black dog she had rescued, and on the bedside cabinet was a tray of untouched food. Quietly, Kathryn walked towards the bed.

"Having a siesta?"

At the sound of Kathryn's voice, Adriena sat up and turned to her, joy illuminating the child's face. "Kathryn!"

Still sore, Kathryn sat down slowly on the edge of the bed. There were stale tears on the child's cheek and her hair was wet. Kathryn reached out and put her hand to the child's face.

"What's all this I hear about you giving Tuvok a hard time?"

Adriena lowered her eyes at that, shame and guilt infesting every feature.

Kathryn gently brushed the child's hair away from her face. "I thought you were a good girl."

At that, Adriena drew away from Kathryn and lay back down on the bed, facing the wall.

"Tell me why you got upset, darling," Kathryn continued. "There must have been a reason."

A tear ran down Adriena's cheek. "I didn't think you were coming back...thought you had left me."

"Oh Adriena," Kathryn said quietly.

"No body wants me."

"I want you," Kathryn said. "And your daddy will want you too."

Adriena sat up again at that, infinite pain in her eyes. "I don't want him to want me. I want to stay with you. Just with you..."

The child then lurched forward and clung tight to Kathryn.

"Please let me stay with you."

The child's firm grip hurt Kathryn's tender body, but she ignored the pain and held the child close.

"You are going to love your daddy, darling," she said, a lump in her throat almost choking her words, "and he is going to love you. And your daddy and I love each other. I'm going to be here for you always." She hoped that she and Chakotay had a future together, that she, Chakotay and Adriena could be a family, but it would be cruel to build up the child's hopes when there was still so much uncertainty.

"I love you," Adriena whispered.

Kathryn kissed the child's hair as a stubborn tear ran down her cheek. "I love you too, darling."

They held each other a long while, then Kathryn drew slightly away.

"Now," she said, looking at the dog that was looking at them curiously, "how about we go and introduce you, and our furry little friend here, to my mother?"

Adriena nodded happily. "And Teddy?"

"And Teddy," Kathryn smiled.

END OF CHAPTER ELEVEN


	12. Chapter 12

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures**

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

Sitting amongst a mountain of rainbow bubbles, Adriena played happily with a family of ducks as Gretchen bathed her. Kathryn had been told to avoid all physical exertion, so her mother was giving the child her nightly bath instead. At first, Gretchen had been wary of the child and somewhat distant, but had soon warmed to her.

"I have good news," Kathryn said as she entered the small bathroom. "I just got a call from _The Missing Pet Society._ They've processed our little friend's case, and say that no dog matching his description or DNA has been reported missing. That means, Miss Adriena, he's all yours."

Adriena's eyes lit up and so much happiness filled her heart that she couldn't speak.

"You'll have to pick a name for him," Gretchen said, putting down the sponge in her hand.

"Absolutely," Kathryn added. "And a collar too. How about I replicate us a catalogue of doggie goods and we choose some things for him over supper?"

Adriena nodded enthusiastically.

"Then I'll get to it," Kathryn smiled.

* * *

Sitting next to Kathryn beside a roaring simulated fire, Adriena looked through a large catalogue of dog accessories for a collar. She had chosen the name Blackie for her little pet, and the animal was sleeping soundly at her feet. In a chair opposite, Gretchen sat knitting a yellow coat for the dog, the color of the wool being Adriena's choice. As the Doctor had only allowed Kathryn to leave the sanatorium on the condition there was someone on hand to keep an eye on her, Gretchen was staying the night.

"I like that one," Adriena said, pointing to a bright yellow collar with silver edging and glittering pink and purple flower studs all over it.

"Boy doggies don't usually wear pink," Kathryn replied, glad of the excuse as the selected collar made her eyes ache.

Adriena frowned. "Why not?"

"Just traditional. We have pink for a girl and blue for a boy."

Adriena considered this a moment, then turned the page. As she did so, her eyes widened in delight when she saw almost the exact same collar with blue and green star studs. Her finger shot at the picture and she looked up at Kathryn, her eyes sparkling. "There..."

In Kathryn's eyes, this collar was no less ghastly than the previous one, but the child clearly loved it.

"Then looks like we've found Blackie's collar," she relented. "Let me see the number."

"24657," Adriena said, reading the digits.

Kathryn checked, and sure enough the number was right. "Clever girl," she said, surprised.

"I know all my numbers," Adriena said proudly, "and my alphabet."

"I'm impressed," Kathryn smiled. She moved the catalogue onto the child's lap, got to her feet, and went to replicate the collar, complete with Blackie's name, and, for the moment, her mother's address code.

When Adriena saw the dazzling collar, she clapped her hands in delight. Then she nudged the sleeping dog with her foot. "Wake up, Blackie. We've got something special for you."

The dog lazily sat up and Adriena watched as Kathryn fixed the collar around his neck. When it was on, Adriena clapped her hands again and laughed happily.

Suddenly, a chime filled the room. It was the chime Kathryn had programmed for Chakotay's transceiver and she hurried over to the device.

"I'll take the call in my room," she said to her mother as she picked up the transceiver. Without waiting for a response, she disappeared into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

* * *

Inside her bedroom, Kathryn accepted the incoming call. As she did so, Chakotay, through Adam's voice, spoke.

"Chakotay to Kathryn..."

His words were clear this time, no interference at all.

"Hi," Kathryn said. "How are you? Where are you?"

"About three hours away. I thought I'd call ahead...get the co-ordinates."

"I'll transmit them to you now," Kathryn replied. "Stand-by."

She worked the device's small console, then spoke.

"On their way..."

A beep sounded at Chakotay's end. "Received..."

"I have a lot to tell you," Kathryn continued. "There's been a lot of developments."

"Good or bad?"

"A bit of both."

"I see it's getting late in Ireland," Chakotay commented, clearly imputing the co-ordinates. "Maybe I should call in the morning...Irish time."

"No way," Kathryn protested. "I can't wait to see you."

"Ditto," Chakotay said warmly.

"See in a few hours then."

"See you soon."

A faint crackle sounded, then the connection terminated.

* * *

Sitting alone before the fire, Kathryn dozed off as she waited for Chakotay to return. Not wanting to be in the way when Chakotay arrived, her mother had retired, with Blackie, to Kathryn's bedroom. It was a large room, with a large double bed, and mother and daughter planned on sharing it for the night. The couch Kathryn was going to offer to Chakotay, but she suspected he would rather stay in his shuttle.

The sound of the door-chime woke Kathryn's senses, and she eagerly got up to see if the visitor was who she expected. A quick glance at the security monitor told her that it was. However, the image of Adam standing on the doorstep in blue pants and a white shirt momentarily unsettled her. So set was her mind on the fact that Chakotay was returning, that she had almost forgotten he was in another man's body. She had almost expected to see her brown-eyed, black-haired, cute-dimpled Chakotay standing in the doorway. But the unease went as soon as it had come, and Kathryn opened the door with a smile.

"Welcome back, traveler."

"Good to be back," Chakotay smiled. He looked well, Kathryn thought, but dark patches under the eyes betrayed the burden of the past few weeks. "Are we really in Ireland?" he asked as he stepped into the cottage. "Seems more like Antarctica to me."

Kathryn laughed softly. "Ireland, I assure you." She gestured to the seating area. "Please, warm yourself by the fire."

Chakotay made his way over to the fireplace and sat in the same chair that Adriena had chosen.

"Can I get you a drink?" Kathryn asked. "Tea, coffee, hot chocolate?"

"Hot chocolate would be good. Thank you."

Kathryn went over to the replicator and replicated two mugs of hot chocolate.

"I was really worried when I couldn't make contact with you," she said, picking up the mugs and carrying them over to the seating area. "I was going to come and look for you."

"I thought it would be a good idea to deviate from the standard route to Trebus," he explained, gratefully taking the mug Kathryn offered, "just incase Adam tracked me for a while to guess my destination. Unfortunately, my shuttle was damaged when I flew through a nebula, and several systems malfunctioned, including sensors and navigation. I then flew into an asteroid zone I hadn't detected and couldn't safely find my way out with faulty navigation systems. I had to stop and make repairs and it took a few days. I would have been back sooner, but I could only fly at warp 2."

Kathryn sat down slowly, her body still sore, and Chakotay noticed her fragility.

"Been over-doing things?"

"More like I've been done-over," Kathryn replied. "Adam attacked me."

Chakotay stilled at that and his foreign face paled.

"But as you see," Kathryn added quickly, "I'm ok. Just a little worse for wear."

Infinite pain in his expression, Chakotay questioned. "He didn't..." He couldn't say the words, but Kathryn understood his meaning.

"No," she replied firmly. "Nothing like that happened. He was distracted, irrational, confused. I don't think he knew what he was doing..."

"How badly were you hurt?"

"A broken collar bone...a couple of fractured ribs... neck and throat injuries, but things could have been a lot worse."

Chakotay turned towards the fire and gazed painfully into the flames. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my body..."

"He wasn't you," Kathryn said gently. "He wasn't even himself."

Chakotay made no reply, just sat a hunched, tortured, figure before the flames.

"I know you'd never hurt me," Kathryn tried to reassure him. "You're the kindest, most gentle, man I've ever known."

Chakotay looked up at her now, his pain easing a little. "All I've ever wanted is to protect you. I know you've resented that at times, but I would hardly be a man if I didn't. To think that my body..." He paused, clenched his fist. "To do things under mind-control is one thing, but to have someone else do things with your body, things you'd never do, it's...it's so hard."

"I understand," Kathryn replied. "It's been hard for me too." She looked into the mug of chocolate in her hands. "As we thought, he and Seven broke up, but Adam wasted no time in getting someone else. He took a vacation with her and...and it was so hard to think...to think that she and he were..." Tears filled her eyes. "For so long we've loved each other and longed to...to think of him with...it hurt so much..."

"Me too," Chakotay whispered.

They locked eyes for a moment, then Chakotay spoke again.

"Where is Adam now? Is he in custody?"

"He's in a coma," Kathryn answered.

"A coma?"

Kathryn nodded. "We're not dealing with switched consciousnesses but switched brains. The reason the Doctor didn't detect the switch on Voyager was because not only had Adam manipulated his program temporarily, but he'd had a liver transplant when he was younger, which meant his body was conditioned to accept foreign organs and standard tests wouldn't show them up as so. That's probably how the switch happened in the first place. Apparently, while the odds are in the thousands, a switch like this is a possibility if someone who's had a transplant is transported at the exact same time as someone else. The transporter may get confused because of the conditioning." She paused. "The Doctor suspected switched brains as soon as I told him, but without examining you or Adam, it would be impossible to prove. That's why I told you to come back. There was no way Adam was going to consent to an examination." She put down the mug in her hands on a table before her. "However, things unexpectedly came to a head yesterday. Adam called me over to his apartment, and while I didn't want to go initially, he didn't look well and I was worried your body was rejecting his brain. The Doctor said it was a possibility as your body is not conditioned to accept foreign organs. What spurred Adam to it, I don't know, maybe he was feeling unwell or had just read up on the subject, but according to the Doctor, he attempted self transplant-conditioning treatment sometime over the past few days, and rather than prevent rejection, it induced it. When I went over and told him he needed to see a doctor, he totally lost control. But, as I said just now, he wasn't himself. He was distracted, confused, agitated. I managed to call the Doctor before I lost consciousness, and he arrived just in time to save me. I woke up in a room at Starfleet Headquarters Sanatorium, and the Doctor...who is now called Englebert Magnifico Honaribus Shmullus by the way," she smiled, "told me that Adam was in a coma. Tests confirmed that his brain was in your body, along with his left lung and pancreas." She paused. "Right now things aren't looking too good for him."

Chakotay absorbed all this, then he spoke. "The thought of a brain switch occurred to me, but I didn't think we would survive it. I didn't know that Adam had a transplant in the past."

"He was very sick as a teenager," Kathryn explained. "That's why he's been doing all this, or at least it was part of the reason. There was always the risk of the disease returning, even though the odds were remote, and he didn't want to be sick again."

"I see," Chakotay replied. "I can understand the fear, it's always worried me that I'll develop sensory tremens like my grandfather, even though the gene has been suppressed, but to take someone else's body, their identity, and lay the burden on them, I don't understand that." He paused. "What happens now? Can the Doctor switch us back?"

"Yes, but at the moment it would be too risky for Adam. You can demand it, but it could kill him instantly."

"Then I'll wait," he said, not wanting any unnecessary harm to come to Adam. "But I'll be so glad to get my body back. I've been so afraid that I never would."

Kathryn smiled warmly. "Didn't I tell you we'd find a way to fix things?"

Chakotay had to smile at that. "You did. And, as always, you were right."

"Oh, I'm not always right," she teased. "Most of the time, certainly, but I have been known to err."

"Like when?"

"Like when I said B'Elanna wasn't Chief Engineer material...when I said an alliance with the Borg could be trusted...when I let personal feelings get in the way of professional ones with the Equinox crew."

"Which only makes you right again," Chakotay teased. "Right about not always being right."

Kathryn laughed softly.

"But certainly a lot has happened while I've been away," Chakotay continued, "more than I could have imagined."

"And I've only told you half of it," Kathryn replied, picking up her mug of chocolate again. "There's something, or perhaps I should say someone, else." She took a sip of chocolate and then tried to be as gentle as she could with the next words. "A few days ago, I had a visit from Seska's sister. She didn't stay long, but made a very important delivery...a seven year old little girl...your daughter."

For a long moment, Chakotay did nothing, said nothing, then he spoke, his voice quiet. "I...I don't understand. Seska said she'd lost the baby..."

"That's what she told you, but she didn't. She only said that after surgery she'd had to make the baby look half-Bajoran, instead of Cardassian, went wrong. Afraid you'd find out the truth about her being a Cardassian spy, she took time out of the Maquis to give birth and left Adriena...your daughter's name...with her sister. Maybe she planned on getting Adriena treatment, I don't know, but as Seska never returned, her sister put the child in a Cardassian Boarding House, where she's been until now. Varlina...Seska's sister...didn't say anything else, except that she doesn't want anything more to do with the child and was leaving her in your care."

Chakotay said nothing, just tried to absorb it all, make sense of it...

"She's a wonderful child," Kathryn continued. "I've only been with her a short time, but I love her already. You will too."

Without a word, Chakotay got up and wandered over to the window. Like so many times over the past few weeks, he felt as though he was in an never-ending dream or some kind of alternate reality.

"Only the Doctor, Tuvok and my mother know she's here. I didn't want to inform the authorities, not when things...not until everything is resolved."

"She swore she'd lost the baby," Chakotay said at last. "She swore it..." He gazed out at black waves crashing against black rocks in a black tempest. "The whisper on our ship was that she'd had a..." He couldn't say the words. "But when I asked her, she swore she'd lost the baby. I wanted to believe her, I did, but deep inside...That's why I ended things between us. If I couldn't trust her on something like that, there just wasn't any future for us." He paused. "She never told me she was pregnant. I only found out when I detected the lifesign one day. She said she didn't know she was, and maybe she didn't, but I couldn't help think she just didn't want to tell me. I asked her to marry me, said we should leave the Maquis and make a safe home somewhere for our child, but she didn't want to be tied down and didn't want me to leave the Maquis. She wanted to raise the child on our ship, but when I said it was out of the question, she said we'd find a house and she'd stay home with the baby while I continued to fight. The next day she left to tell her family and to see a doctor, but wouldn't hear of me going with her. For weeks I heard nothing from her at all, then she contacted me saying that Cardassians had attacked a passenger vessel she was on and she'd been so badly injured that she'd lost the baby. I wanted to go to her, but she said her family were taking care of her and she'd return as soon as she was well enough. I didn't hear anything again from her for about five months." Tears blurred his vision. "I had no idea she'd given birth. The thought never crossed my mind...it wouldn't have."

Kathryn got up and joined him at the window. "Of course not. Even if you didn't trust her, as you said, you wanted too because you loved her."

"I did," he said quietly. "Not in the way I love you, I've never loved anyone as much as I love you, but I did care for her." He turned slowly to Kathryn. "Are you sure this child is mine?"

Kathryn nodded. "The Doctor performed a DNA test. There's no doubt."

"I take it she's still here?"

"Right in the next room, sleeping soundly." She looked at Chakotay sadly. "The surgery that Seska had...it left Adriena with various problems. She's as bright as a button, but she's disfigured and her right leg is disabled. The Doctor says that a series of surgeries will help her condition, but she has a long road ahead...emotionally aswell as physically."

Chakotay looked in the direction of the bedrooms. "I'd like to see her...not to wake her, but just to see her..."

Kathryn lay her hand on his foreign arm. "Then follow me."

Quietly, she led Chakotay over to Adriena's bedroom and opened the door. Inside, a soft nightlight filled the room with a pale copper light, and Adriena lay fast asleep in her bed, her little arm wrapped around her precious teddy bear. As Chakotay approached the bed, he saw the little girl's red-crutches leaning against the bedside cabinet, and he reached out and tenderly touched one. Then he turned away from them and gazed at his daughter. There was no doubting that, in conventional eyes, she was quite hideous, but he didn't see her disfigurements as much as he saw a vulnerable, precious, little girl who so desperately needed, and deserved, his love.

"Oh Kathryn," he whispered.

A tear ran down the cheek that was presently his and Kathryn joined him at the child's bedside.

"We can't change her past," she said quietly, "but we can change her future."

Chakotay nodded. "I'm going to see that she has everything she needs from now on...going to be the father I should always have been..."

Kathryn reached for his foreign hand and held it in hers. "And I'll be right here every step of the way."

Chakotay turned to Kathryn at that and looked at her with so much love and gratitude. "Thank you...for everything..."

Kathryn squeezed the hand in hers. "Thank you...for being you..."

Almost absently, Chakotay reached out and touched Kathryn's face. He then turned back to the bed and looked once more at his sleeping daugher. As he gazed at her, casting every detail to memory, Adriena stirred and turned over.

"Come on," Kathryn said, not wanting to wake the child. "Let's finish our drinks."

Chakotay nodded, and they left the room as quietly as they had come.

**END OF CHAPTER TWELVE**


	13. Chapter 13

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.**

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

Tail wagging, Blackie left his brand new doggie-bed to greet Adriena as she quietly opened her bedroom door to let him in. It was just starting to get light outside and Kathryn and Gretchen were still sleeping. When the dog reached his little mistress, he affectionately jumped up on her legs and Adriena fussed him. She then closed the door and made her way over to the bed. As she climbed back under the covers, Blackie jumped on the bed and began to lick her face. Adriena laughed and then patted the empty space beside her, urging the dog to curl up next to her. Blackie, however, had other ideas and bounced off the bed in the direction of the window.

"Oh," Adriena smiled when he jumped onto the windowseat and looked outside. "You want to go bathroom."

Eager to attend to her dog's needs, she reached for her crutches and hobbled over to the window. As soon as she was sitting down, she opened the window as wide as she could and watched as Blackie jumped to the soft grass below. It was a still, dry, morning, and Blackie sniffed around as he did his business.

"I need to go myself," Adriena said, getting rather tired of watching the dog sniff and piddle. "I'll go now too, then we'll both be done."

With that, she got to her feet and made her way into the bathroom.

* * *

When Adriena had finished in the bathroom, she was disappointed to see that Blackie was still outside.

"You must be done by now," she said, returning to the window. "Come in and..." Her face fell in horror when she saw that Blackie was no where to be seen. Clumsily casting her crutches to the wall, she climbed onto the windowseat and desperately looked outside.

"Blackie," she called. "Blackie, come back!"

Finally she saw her precious dog. He was on the sand, running towards the sea.

"No," Adriena cried. "Come back. Blackie, come back!"

But the dog just continued to run. Tearfully, Adriena picked up her crutches, hurried out of her bedroom, and made her way to the front door. She pressed an emergency exit button that Kathryn had showed her, and as soon as the door opened, she ventured outside. Not even thinking about closing the door behind her, she crossed the grass as quickly as she could and followed her dog onto the sand. The sand was soft, soggy, difficult to walk on, and Adriena lost her balance and fell. Crying, she pulled herself up and called desperately to her dog.

"Come back! Blackie...please come back!"

But again the dog did not return.

Shivering from cold and upset, Adriena struggled on across the sand, but just as she was within reaching distance of her pet, Blackie changed course and ran west of the sea.

"No," Adriena cried, changing direction too. "Come back!"

Breathless, she hurried after the dog along the water's edge, but in no time at all he was just a dot in the distance.

"Please," she wept, "come back...I love you..."

Then she screamed as a large wave knocked her to the sand. Just as she was sitting up, a wave even bigger than the last engulfed her, separating her from her crutches. She screamed again and struggled against the tide, but waves overpowered her and before she knew it they had swept her away.

* * *

His life-cycle still on pacific time, Chakotay was finding it difficult to sleep. Lying in his bed in his shuttle, the first lights of morning seeped in through a small port-hole beside him. He looked out across the sands, and as the dawn was dry, he figured he would make the most of his first ever morning in Ireland and take a walk along the shore.

Knowing it would be cold outside, he replicated himself some warm clothes and a jacket, and when he was all ready, left his shuttle. Just as he was closing the shuttle door, he heard a scream in the distance. He turned around and saw what looked like a child struggling in the water. Abandoning the shuttle door, he ran onto the sand, tearing off his jacket, and sped over to the incoming tide.

Gasping for breath, Adriena flapped her arms in a desperate attempt to stay afloat, but more and more waves crashed against her and it seemed as though the sea was sucking her to the bottom. Then, a mighty wave overcame her, and she sank into the cold watery depths.

Wading into the water, Chakotay desperately scoured the sea for the drowning child, but all he could see were frothy waves. Then, something yellow bobbed to his left. As quick as lightening, he lurched in the direction of it and scooped up what he believed to be the child. Sure enough, he found a little girl in his arms: his little girl. Her eyes were closed and her body was limp and lifeless.

"No," he cried, tears flooding his eyes. "You can't die..."

As fast as he could, he carried her to the sand, lay her down, and gave her the kiss of life.

"Come on," he cried as he pumped her little chest. "Don't leave me...not now...not now!"

At first, the child didn't respond, then her chest heaved and she coughed.

Chakotay immediately sat her up. "That's it...cough...breath...nice and easy..."

Once she had recovered her breath, Adriena began to cry.

"It's alright," Chakotay said gently. "You're safe now. You're safe."

He got to his feet and lifted her into his arms. He held her tight a moment, swallowed the tears, and then spoke.

"I'll take you home."

* * *

Gretchen was just stepping out of the front door to look for Adriena when Chakotay reached the cottage.

"Adriena!" Gretchen cried in alarm when she saw the shivering, soaking wet, child in his arms. "What happened?"

"She got swept up by the tide," Chakotay said, carrying his daughter inside. "I heard her cries when I left my shuttle to take a walk."

"Take her into her bedroom," Gretchen said, closing the front door. "I'll get her dried and into bed and call the doctor."

Chakotay made his way into the child's bedroom and Gretchen followed.

"I had no idea where she'd gone," the woman said, wringing her hands from upset. "I thought I heard her calling, but she wasn't in her room...and Kathryn's well-out of it from sleep medication...she was in so much discomfort last night..."

"It's ok," Chakotay said, seeing that the woman was getting distressed. "I can handle things. You call the doctor and I'll take care of her."

"Alright," Gretchen answered. "Right away..."

Without another word, she left the room. When she was gone, Chakotay looked around, making his bearings, and then headed for what had to be the bathroom. Inside the bathroom, he put Adriena down on a little yellow chair next to the bath and began to undress her. When she was out of her wet pyjamas, he lifted her into the bath, showered away the sand on her hair and body, and then wrapped her in a large white towel that was hanging on a rail. He then put her back on the chair and dried her face with a smaller towel. All the while he tried to soothe her, but the child just wept inconsolably. As he dried her hair, Gretchen re-appeared.

"The Doctor will be here as soon as he can," she said. Chakotay was wet and shivering himself and Gretchen looked at him in concern. "Let me do that, you need to get out of those wet things."

Chakotay didn't argue, but handed the dryer to her. "There's a replicator just there," the elderly woman said, pointing to the room's small replicator. "Help yourself."

Chakotay replicated himself a set of comfortable clothes, including shoes as his were soaked, and then went to the bedroom to put them on. As he was tying up the laces on his shoes, the bedroom door opened and the Doctor entered.

"Commander," he smiled. "I see you've returned."

"Just got back last night," Chakotay answered.

The Doctor saw his discarded wet clothes on a nearby chair and guessed their cause.

"And I see already the hero of the hour. You and I should start a club." He looked around. "Where is our water-sprite?"

"In the bathroom," Chakotay replied. "Mrs Janeway is attending to her. Kathryn's asleep."

"What happened exactly? Is she injured?"

"I don't think so. But she wasn't breathing when I got her out of the sea. I had to resuscitate her."

"I see," the Doctor said, his tone sobering. "If need be, I'll admit her to the sanatorium, but hopefully she won't need anything more than warmth and a single dose of medication to prevent hypothermia."

The Doctor then made his way into the bathroom, and Chakotay followed. Adriena was now dressed in pink pyjamas, and Gretchen was closing the shiny pink buttons on her shirt.

"We meet again," the Doctor smiled at the child. "Just what have you been up to, young lady?"

Adriena made no reply, just wept.

"She won't stop crying," Gretchen said. "I don't know what to do."

The Doctor knelt before the child and put a kind hand on her shoulder. "You're safe now, little miss. There's no need to cry."

Adriena looked up at him, her eyes dull with pain. "It's Blackie...he's gone..."

The Doctor turned to Gretchen. "Blackie?"

"Her dog," Gretchen replied. She then looked at the child. "Is that what you were doing on the beach, sweetheart, chasing Blackie?"

Adriena nodded. "He wanted to go bathroom... I let him...now he's gone."

She sobbed painfully, her heart broken.

"I'm sure we'll find him," the Doctor said. "He can't have gone far."

Adriena's tears ebbed at that. "You think?"

The Doctor nodded. "Now, don't cry. You have such a pretty smile."

At that, Adriena rubbed away her tears and watched as the Doctor opened his med-kit and pulled out a tricorder. He then held it over her and examined her thoroughly.

"All is well," he smiled. "I'll just give you some medicine to make sure you don't get a chill."

He prepared a small hypospray and then put it to her neck. When he was done, he got to his feet and turned to Gretchen. "Make sure she keeps warm today, either in bed or on a couch with a blanket."

"I will," Gretchen replied.

"My crutches," Adriena interrupted. "The sea took them..."

"Then we'll replicate you some new ones," Gretchen said.

Chakotay stepped forward and addressed the child. "Let's get you to bed." He gently picked her up and carried her through to the bedroom. Gretchen pulled back the covers on the bed and Chakotay gently lay her down. As he tucked the covers around her, Adriena smiled warmly at him.

"Thank you for saving me."

"You're welcome," Chakotay said, a lump gathering in his throat.

"I'm Adriena. Who are you?"

Chakotay hesitated for a moment, then answered. "Adam."

Adriena smiled again. "Thank you, Adam."

For the first time, Chakotay got a proper look at his daughter's face, and as she looked at him, he saw his mother's eyes looking back at him.

"You get some rest," he said quietly. He then turned away from her, emotion momentarily overwhelming him.

Gretchen took his place at Adriena's bedside and Chakotay took a deep breath to compose himself. The Doctor then approached him.

"As we're both here, we may as well address your situation," he said.

Chakotay nodded. "I was about to suggest the same thing."

"Then let's transport to the sanatorium. I can conduct all necessary tests there."

* * *

"The test results match Adam's," the Doctor said after he had performed a number of specialized tests on Chakotay. "Your brain is in Adam's body, along with your left lung and your pancreas. This has caused some minor physiological stress, which explains the headaches you've been suffering from, but because Adam's body is conditioned to accept foreign organs, there are no serious problems."

Chakotay questioned. "How easy will it be to switch us back? Are there any risks? I mean, risks other than the one's to Adam?"

"Yes," the Doctor replied, "there is an element of risk. Because Adam's brain is comatose in your body, there is a chance your body won't respond to your brain. I don't expect it to happen, but it is a possibility and a coma, or even brain-death, could result. But I believe that once your brain is back in your body, you will suffer no more than a headache or nausea for a couple of days while your body adjusts."

Chakotay considered this then questioned again. "How long do you think it will be before we can make the switch?"

"It's hard to tell. It could be weeks, it could be hours. But Adam's conditioned has deteriorated over the past twelve hours and things are looking increasingly bad for him. If he continues to deteriorate at the rate he has, he'll be lucky to survive the week."

* * *

"You're supposed to be in bed, young lady," Kathryn said as she entered Adriena's bedroom and found the child sitting by the window. Resting on the wall beside her were her new crutches, the color a predictable yellow.

"I'm looking for Blackie," she said, turning to look out at the sands again.

Kathryn walked over to the window and sat beside the precious little girl. When her mother had told her what had happened, the thought of losing the child made her realize just how much she had come to love her. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry he ran away."

"He might come back," Adriena said. "I know I can't play with him like the other children, but I love him, I do."

"I know you do," Kathryn said, reaching out and stroking the child's thin black hair. "But you mustn't think that Blackie ran away because of you. He's been a roamer for a long time and that might be just how he is. But there are many other little dogs in need of a home who are just waiting to be loved by a little girl like you. We'll do our best to find Blackie, but if we can't, we can find you another dog."

"I don't want another dog," Adriena said, a tear running down her cheek. "I want Blackie."

Suddenly, the bedroom door opened and Gretchen popped her head inside.

"There's a little someone here to see you."

She opened the door wider and a ball of black curls ran across the room and jumped onto Adriena's lap.

"Oh Blackie!" the child cried happily. "You're back...my Blackie!" She scooped the dog in her arms and hugged him tight.

Kathryn watched the pair for a moment, and then turned to her mother, who was now inside the room. Standing behind her, still in Adam's body, was Chakotay.

"I gather you found our stray," Kathryn said, getting to her feet.

Chakotay nodded. "I located him on sensors." He walked over to his daughter and sat in the place Kathryn had occupied beside her. "He wasn't running away, Adriena," he said, reaching out and tickling the dog's ear. "He was trying to show you something."

Adriena looked up at Chakotay. "He was?"

Chakotay nodded. "I found him with another dog, a little brown and white terrier. The dog had fallen in between two rocks and hurt his leg. Blackie was trying to show you where he was."

Adriena beamed a smile. "Then he likes me?"

"I'd say so," Chakotay smiled. "I'd say, by the way he's licking you, that he loves you. And I hope you can find it in your heart to love another dog, because once this little terrier is out of doggie hospital, he's going to need a home too."

Adriena's eyes widened in sheer joy. "You mean...you mean he's to be mine too?"

Chakotay nodded, the child's happiness warming his heart. "It would be a shame to separate the dogs. I'm sure they're friends."

Adriena turned to Kathryn. "Did you hear that, Kathryn? Blackie has a friend. He didn't run away..."

"Yes," Kathryn smiled. "I heard."

"Adam says that..." The child's face then fell and her eyes dulled. "I can, can't I, Kathryn? I can keep his friend too?"

"Absolutely," Kathryn replied.

Adriena smiled happily and then buried her head in Blackie's soft fur as she hugged him again.

* * *

"Why don't you stay for lunch?" Kathryn said to Chakotay when they were alone in the living room. "My mother's made enough soup to go around."

"I'd rather not," Chakotay replied. "I don't think it's a good idea for me to spend a lot of time here, not while I'm Adam. I don't want Adriena to get to like me and then be gone from her life." He paused. "And I need to go back to Trebus and speak with my sister about Adriena's future."

Kathryn frowned. "How do you mean?"

"The Doctor says there's a chance I won't survive the switch-back. It's unlikely, but I have to be prepared. I don't want Adriena to end up in another home, so I need to make all the necessary preparations regarding guardianship. Now we have conclusive proof that I'm Chakotay, not Adam, we can inform the authorities about her and I can make a legal declaration of what should happen if I don't make it. I'm sure my sister will want her, but I'll have to ask her first."

Kathryn's heart ached at just the thought of Chakotay not surviving, and she didn't want to think about it, but he was right, he had to be prepared. "I can understand you wanting her to go to family," she said, "but I would be willing to have her. I know I don't have much experience with children, not like your sister, and I can understand today's events giving you grave doubts, but I've come to love her, I truly have."

"I can't ask you to take her," Chakotay said quietly. "It wouldn't be fair..."

"You're not asking," Kathryn said firmly. "I'm offering."

Tears brimmed in Chakotay's foreign eyes. "If you're sure..."

"More than I've ever been about anything."

Chakotay smiled, deeply touched. "Then there's no one I'd rather her be with."

Kathryn lay her hand on the arm that was presently his. "But you're going to make it, Chakotay. Neither I or Adriena are willing to lose you yet."

They gazed at each other for a moment, then Chakotay spoke.

"Shall we call the authorities tomorrow? They'll probably want to examine Adriena and she's been through enough for one day."

Kathryn nodded. "Tomorrow." She then smiled warmly. "Now, why don't you stay for that soup? Adriena's going to be in her room for the rest of the day so it'll just be me and my mother." Her eyes twinkled. "She doesn't bite, I promise."

Chakotay laughed at that. "Go on then, make it lunch for three."

**END OF CHAPTER THIRTEEN**


	14. Chapter 14

Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

FOUR DAYS LATER

Eyes closed, Kathryn stood in the middle of an empty, spacious, living-room that had logs for walls and wide windows that looked out upon a silver lake that glittered in the sun. Behind her was a magnificent chimney of gray stone, and to the left of the chimney was an elegant archway that lead into another room. In the wall to Kathryn's right was a sliding glass door, and an identical one graced the wall opposite.

"May I open my eyes now?" she asked, impatient to see where Chakotay had transported her. He had said it was a surprise, and this was one surprise she was looking forward too.

Chakotay, who was standing beside her, still in Adam's body, smiled. "Open away."

Kathryn immediately opened her eyes and they sparkled with joy as she recognised the view ahead.

"I know this place," she said, walking towards the window. "Lake George..."

"That's right," Chakotay replied. "You always said it was your dream to have a house overlooking the lake. Well, this is my homecoming gift to you."

Kathryn turned to face him, almost in disbelief. "You mean...the house?"

Chakotay nodded. "All yours."

Tears of joy filled Kathryn's eyes and it was a moment before she could speak. "I...I don't know what to say..."

"You don't have to say anything," Chakotay smiled, the look on her face saying more than a million words. He then reached into a pocket of his shirt, pulled out an encased silver chip, and held it out to her. "The deeds...they're in your name."

Kathryn closed the gap between them and took the chip. Tenderly, she ran her fingers over it and then looked up at him as a tear ran down her cheek. "No one has ever done anything like this for me. Thank you..."

Chakotay reached out and brushed away her tear. "It's not a fraction of what you deserve."

"What I don't deserve is you," Kathryn replied. "You're the most wonderful man...most wonderful person...I've ever met."

"Ditto," Chakotay whispered.

They gazed at each other for a moment, then Kathryn spoke, breaking the connection. "But how did you get this house? It's so hard to get a home here. No one lets them go..."

"I acquired the land," Chakotay explained. "It took some string pulling, but anyone from Voyager has a lot of pulling power these days. I designed the house and the frame-work was completed last night."

"You designed it?" Kathryn asked in surprise.

"Every detail. There's still some work to be done, but it should be ready to move in by the end of the month." He smiled. "Want a tour?"

Kathryn smiled in return and put the chip safely into a pocket of her jeans. "You bet!"

* * *

For the next hour, Chakotay showed Kathryn around the one-level home, and with every room she visited, she fell more and more in love with the place. There was a dining room and kitchen back to back with the living room, four ensuite bedrooms to the right of the house, and to the left of the house was a study, a music room, a spare room, a lavatory, and a room that Kathryn had yet to enter.

"A swimming pool!" she said in delight when she finally entered the last, and by far the largest, room. The walls were wood, like the rest of the house, but the ceiling was all glass.

"Actually, a holo-room", Chakotay smiled. "It can be anything you want it to be." He gestured to the glass ceiling. "But the roof is real...perfect for a holo-observatory."

Kathryn walked towards the pool, looking around and admiring the size and design of the room. "I always wanted a house with a holo-deck," she said. "I mean a holo-room." She looked up at the magnificent ceiling. "It's all so...amazing." She then turned away from the pool and faced Chakotay, her tone sober. "There's just one thing that would make it all perfect."

Chakotay closed the gap between them. "And what's that?"

Kathryn hesitiated with the words. "If this was 'our' home."

A sadness filled Chakotay's foreign eyes and he looked away. "I would like nothing more," he said quietly, "but let's not spoil the present by talking about a future that...that may never happen."

"It can happen," Kathryn argued. "We can make a home here...you, me and Adriena."

At this, Chakotay turned back to her. "I may not survive the switch-back," he answered. "I don't want to think about a future we can share because I want it so much that if..." He paused painfully. "If I am to die, I need to be at peace. I need to be ready for death."

"You're not going to die," Kathryn replied. "The risk of anything going wrong is less than five percent. Death is even more unlikely. We've done what needed to be done to ensure Adriena's future, but it was all just a technicality. Nothing is going to happen to you, except getting your body back."

A tear escaped Chakotay's foreign eye and fell onto a white cheek. "I need to be prepared, Kathryn. But I can't be if I think of... I just can't think about it."

Kathryn swallowed as an anxiety gripped her. "It's not like you to be negative," she said nervously. "Is there something more going on?  
Something the Doctor hasn't told me?"

"No," Chakotay replied firmly. "You know as much as I do. I just..." He paused, struggled with the words. "I love you so much, Kathryn. For so many years I've longed for us to be together, but I never thought it would happen. I tried to stop loving you, tried so hard, but I couldn't. All my life I've been on the outside, stood in the shadows while others found love, and it's been such a cold and lonely place. To have a home here with you and Adriena, it's more than... I can't believe something so good can happen to me."

Gently, Kathryn put a hand on his arm. "So you think you're going to die."

Chakotay nodded.

"Well you're not," she said, tears in her eyes. "You're going to make it. I know that you are. All those things you said...they're true for me too. When Justin died, my whole world was shattered. I loved him so much that the thought of living without him was unbearable. I just wanted to die myself. I never thought I would love again, but I did, only to lose again." A tear ran down her cheek. "I won't lose you, Chakotay. I can't. You're going to make it and we're going to be a family. You, me, and Adriena."

As Chakotay looked into her eyes, his fears ebbed and he nodded. Then he couldn't help but smile. "Is that a proposal?"

Kathryn laughed softly. "Perhaps. Or... a proposal to propose."

"I see," Chakotay replied, eyes now twinkling.

They looked at each other for a moment, then Kathryn stepped away. "It's almost dinner time Irish time," she said. "What do you say to visiting the local restaurant and grabbing a bite to eat?"

Chakotay smiled happily. "Sounds good."

* * *

From the doorway of her bedroom, Kathryn watched fondly as Adriena sat with Blackie and her newest furry friend before the fire. The child was now officially recognized as Chakotay's daughter, and custody had, by his request, been temporarily granted to her. Adriena was sitting on a rainbow bean-bag, the two dogs at her feet, and they were watching her avidly as she carefully opened a large bag of doggie biscuits. Just as the child was about to hand the first biscuit to Blackie, the little brown and white dog beside him snatched it.

"Naughty, Patchie," Adriena laughed. "That was for Blackie. You mustn't be greedy."

She then reached into the bag again and pulled out another biscuit, this time successfully giving it to Blackie.

The sight of Adriena playing with the dogs warmed Kathryn's heart. She had bonded well with them and they would be good company for her, especially until she could make some friends.

"I see it's feeding time at the zoo," Kathryn smiled as she walked into the room.

Adriena looked up at her. "What's a zoo?"

"It's a place where many different animals are kept," Kathryn explained, "animals that we wouldn't get to see otherwise. There is a great one in Houston. I'll take you there one day."

"Really?" Adriena exclaimed. "You mean it?"

"Absolutely," Kathryn replied. "And there's lots of places we can go together...your daddy too."

Adriena's smile faded at that. "I don't want him to come."

Kathryn went over to the child and knelt before her. "You don't mean that."

Adriena's face hardened. "I do."

Kathryn put a gentle hand on the child's shoulder. "Just wait until you meet him," she said kindly. "You'll see that..."

"I don't want to meet him," Adriena cried. "I hate him!"

"No you don't," Kathryn answered. "You don't even..."

"I do," she yelled. "I hate him! And he hates me, that's why he left me!"

"That's not true," Kathryn tried to tell her. "I've told you, sweetheart, he's been very far away and..."

"I don't care," Adriena cried. "I hate him! I'll never go anywhere with him, ever!"

Kathryn was just about to reply when the door chime sounded. "We'll talk about this later," she said, getting to her feet.

With that, she went over to the door, peeped into the security monitor, and opened the door when she saw her visitor was Chakotay.

"Cha.." She bit her lip and quickly corrected herself. "Adam...Come in."

Chakotay stepped into the cottage and Kathryn noticed he looked pale and worried.

"We need to talk," he said.

Kathryn looked back at Adriena and addressed the child. "Adam and I are just going through to the kitchen. You take good care of the dogs."

Adriena nodded, her eyes heavy.

Kathryn lead Chakotay into the kitchen, and closed the door as soon as they were inside.

"What's happened?"

"It's Adam," he replied. "I just heard from the Doctor. He was certified brain-dead about half an hour ago."

"I see," Kathryn said quietly. "I'm sorry...for his sake."

"Me too."

There was a moment of silence, then Chakotay spoke again.

"The Doctor says the sooner I undergo the switch-back the better. I'm heading there now."

"I'll come with you," Kathryn said. "I'll just call my mother to watch Adriena."

"There's no need," Chakotay replied. "There's nothing you can do..."

"I'm coming," she said firmly. "End of discussion."

At that, Chakotay was gladly subdued. "Yes, Ma'am," he smiled.

* * *

In a sterile room in the sanatorium, Chakotay's body lay on a biobed, only technology keeping it alive. The unpleasant sight gave Kathryn a cold shiver, and she had to look away as the Doctor discussed the switch-back procedure with her and Chakotay.

"The process is quite simple," the Doctor explained. "You will lie down on the vacant bed, and once you are comfortable, I will perform a  
transport switch. It should only take seconds."

"Then let's get on with it," Chakotay said. "Do I need to undress?"

"No," the Doctor replied. "You will suffice as you are." He gestured to a vacant bed, and Chakotay made his way over to it. "As he did so, the Doctor turned to Kathryn.

"You may remain or wait outside. It's up to you."

"I'm going no where," she answered. She then watched as Chakotay climbed onto the bed and lay down. The Doctor went over to him, examined him with a tricorder, and then went over to a console.

"When you're ready, Commander."

Chakotay looked at Kathryn, wanting to see her one last time, and she smiled softly. She could see that he was afraid, so was she, but she kept telling herself that it would all soon be over and everything would be as it should.

"I'm ready, Doctor," Chakotay said quietly.

The Doctor operated the console and almost immediately both Chakotay's and Adam's bodies disappeared. Seconds later, they  
rematerialized, and the Doctor hurried over to where Chakotay's body lay. Kathryn expected Chakotay to sit up and talk, but he lay perfectly still. Anxiously, she stepped closer to the bed and saw that while he was breathing unaided, he was unconscious. "What's happening?" she cried. "Why isn't he conscious?"

"Give him time," the Doctor replied. "His body has to readjust."

Trembling, Kathryn reached for Chakotay's hand and took it in hers. "You can make it," she whispered. "I'm counting on you."

Every second that passed seemed like an eternity, then at last, at long long last, Chakotay's eyes fluttered and opened. Kathryn smiled happily, tears filling her eyes. "Welcome back."

For a long moment, Chakotay said nothing. Then he spoke. "Am I?"

Kathryn nodded and squeezed his hand. "You're yourself again."

Tears filled Chakotay's eyes and he squeezed Kathryn's hand, his joy and relief infinite.

The Doctor spoke now. "And you're going to be just fine," he said. "I'd like to keep you in overnight, just for observation, but everything went like clockwork."

Chakotay turned to look at the Doctor. "I'm really grateful, Doctor, for everything."

"So am I," Kathryn added. "There's just one thing," she continued. "I don't ever want Seven to find out about this."

"She won't," the Doctor reassured her. "This case is still classified, which means that no one involved, from myself to the social workers who dealt with Adriena, are allowed to speak of it. Adam Shaw will be declared dead from natural causes and no one will be any the wiser about what has happened." He paused. "You may talk to the Commander for a few minutes, but then I must ask you to leave. He needs to rest."

Kathryn nodded. "I understand."

The Doctor returned to the console, transported Adam's body to the morgue, and then left the room. When he was gone, Kathryn sat on a stool beside Chakotay's bed and took his hand in hers again.

"I'm so glad to have you back," she smiled through tears.

"I'm glad to be back," he smiled.

Kathryn kissed his hand and cherished his smile, his dimples, his dark eyes, his distinctive lips, and everything about him she had missed for so long.

"You can say it," he teased.

"Say what?"

"I told you so...that I'd make it."

Kathryn laughed softly. "I told you so..." She then reached out and brushed her fingers against his cheek. "It's finally over, we can now look forward to the future...together."

Chakotay nodded. "And I can't wait..."

Kathryn kissed his hand again, then looked at him sadly. "There's just one problem. Adriena."

"What about her?"

"She's very hostile to the idea of you coming into her life. I think she feels threatened, afraid that everything she has right now will be taken away from her. She's extremely insecure, not just about herself, but the feelings of others for her...even the dogs. I constantly need to reassure her that she's wanted and loved." She paused. "We've never really discussed what happens next...now you're truly you again...but I think it would be in Adriena's best interest to stay with me and get to know you slowly. In a few weeks she will love you dearly, I'm sure of it, but as we'll all be living together eventually, it seems unnecessary to traumatize her by making her live with you in the meantime." She paused and found herself blushing a little. "That is, of course, if you still want us all to live together and..."

Chakotay silenced her with a tender finger to the lips. "There's nothing I want more." He then took her other hand in his. "And I think you're right. Adriena's been through enough in her life to need another upheaval. And having been absent all these years in her life, I don't have the right to barge into it now and demand that she loves me. She's happy with you and the last thing I want is to hurt her." He hesitated with the next words. "Perhaps, when she is comfortable in my presence, we could all take a trip to Trebus. I really want to see my sister and I'd like her to meet both you and Adriena."

Kathryn smiled and squeezed his hands. "It's a date."

The door to the room suddenly opened, and the Doctor re-appeared. "The Commander should rest now."

Kathryn nodded and then, in full view of the Doctor, leant forward and kissed Chakotay's tattoo. "I'll see you in the morning...your time."

Chakotay smiled. "See you then."

Kathryn reluctantly got to her feet and gazed deep into his eyes. "I love you."

Chakotay's eyes moistened at that and he replied in whisper. "I love you too."

Kathryn then turned to leave and saw that the Doctor was watching them from the doorway, mouth open. "Don't look so surprised, Doctor," she said, walking towards him. "And you can close your mouth. As Mary Poppins would say, we are not a cod-fish". She then smiled at him warmly. "Goodbye, Doctor."

Then, without another word, she left the room.

"Well," the Doctor said when she was gone, "you certainly are a dark horse."

"And I don't ever want a blonde mane again," Chakotay teased. For the first time in such a long time, he was perfectly and blissfully content. The only time in his life he had ever felt this happy was when he was with Kathryn on New Earth.

"Mane or mare?" the Doctor teased in return.

"Both," Chakotay smiled.

"So," the Doctor said, approaching the bed, "is this a recent romance or have you both been dancing rings around us all on Voyager?"

"Let's just say," Chakotay answered, "our relationship on Voyager was romantically platonic."

"I see," the Doctor smiled, putting a hypospray to Chakotay's neck. "And, for what it's worth, I hope you will both be very happy."

"Thank you," Chakotay replied, closing his tired eyes. "Kathryn so deserves to be and I'm..."

He never got to finish his sentence as he fell fast asleep.

END OF CHAPTER FOURTEEN


	15. Chapter 15

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures**

CHAPTER 15

Chakotay was fast asleep when Kathryn arrived at the sanatorium the following morning. Not wanting to wake him up, she sat down quietly beside the bed and watched him sleep. He looked peaceful, content, and after everything that had happened lately, she was happy to sit and gaze at his dear face for as long as need be. After a while, the door behind her slid open, and the Doctor came in.

"Still in the land of nod, I see," he said. "He has been asleep for..." The Doctor stopped talking when he noticed displayed data on a monitor within Kathryn's view. Anxiously, he went over to it. "You didn't read this, did you?"

Kathryn turned to look at what the Doctor was talking about, and was just in time to see it was Chakotay's medical record before the Doctor cleared the screen. Her stomach churned. For the Doctor to be concerned, there had to be something in his medical file that he didn't want her to see.

"Yes," she bluffed, trying to lure him into revealing whatever it was. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it was the Commander's wish," the Doctor replied, flustered, "and I agreed with him that it was for the best. There was no way we could leave you on that planet all alone."

Kathryn's face paled and it was a moment before she could speak. "Are you...are you saying Chakotay never had the virus that stranded us on New Earth?"

"Yes, that's what..." The Doctor then bit his lip, realizing he had been outwitted. "You didn't see the file, did you?"

"No," Kathryn replied quietly.

"As always," the Doctor kicked himself, "I put my foot right in it...two large holographic feet."

Tears in her eyes, Kathryn looked again at Chakotay. So many times during the Voyager years he had shown her in so many different ways that he loved her, but this, his secret sacrifice, was the greatest testimony of all.

"I'm sorry we deceived you," the Doctor went on. "But we did it for you. And I'm sure I speak for the Commander when I say we would do it again."

A tear ran down Kathryn's cheek. "I understand, Doctor. I just... I had no idea."

"He has clearly loved you for a very long time," the Doctor added kindly.

Kathryn nodded and then turned to him again. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell him I know. I'd like too...when the time is right."

"As you wish." The Doctor then began to scan his patient. "All appears normal. I want to perform a couple more tests, but if the results are what I expect, he should be able to leave this afternoon."

Kathryn was about to reply, but Chakotay stirred awake, taking her attention instead. Gently, she took his hand in hers and held it tight.

"Good morning," she smiled as his eyes fluttered open.

Chakotay squeezed her hand. "Good morning."

Kathryn kissed his hand and they gazed at each other, oblivious to the Doctor.

"They say lovers only have eyes for each other," the Doctor teased, "but unless I have suddenly become invisible, I assure you I am within visual range."

At that, Chakotay turned to the Doctor and smiled. "Good morning to you too, Doctor."

"And to you. Did you sleep well?"

"Like a log...however a log sleeps..."

"How do you feel?"

"Like myself," Chakotay teased.

"I mean...any headache, nausea, visual disturbance?"

"Nothing, I feel good."

"Excellent," the Doctor smiled. "As I was saying to the captain, there's a couple of tests I want to perform later this morning, but if all is well, as I expect, you should be able to leave this afternoon."

"Great," Chakotay smiled. "I look forward to it...no offense."

"None taken." The Doctor put away his tricorder. "Well, I'll leave you two love-birds alone. Call me if you need me."

"We will," Kathryn answered. "Thank you."

The Doctor then left, leaving Kathryn and Chakotay alone. When he was gone, Chakotay sat up.

"For the first time in a long time," he said, "I really feel awake. The whole time I was in Adam's body I kept thinking I was in some kind of never-ending dream or alternate reality." He paused. "So many times in my life I've wished I was someone else, but now I wouldn't be anyone but myself."

"And I wouldn't' have you be," Kathryn replied quietly. "Don't ever change, Chakotay."

Chakotay noticed how pale she was and squeezed her hand. "Are you ok, Kathryn? You're very pale."

"I'm fine," she replied. "It's just the lighting."

Chakotay seemed content with her answer as he changed the subject. "Admiral Paris came to see me last night. He says I can stay on in the apartment I've been staying in for as long as I want. It will do for a couple of days, but I was thinking of getting an apartment in Dublin. It will make things so much easier time-wise."

"Agreed," Kathryn answered. The eight-hour time difference was an inconvenience they could do without. "But I'm not happy about you being alone tonight. I've spoken to my mother and she's more than willing to have you stay with her."

"Thank you," Chakotay replied, "I appreciate her kindness, and yours for the thought, but I couldn't intrude."

"It wouldn't be an intrusion. She'll be glad of your company and I'll be so much happier knowing you're not alone."

Chakotay smiled. "I don't have a choice, do I?"

"No," Kathryn teased.

* * *

Sitting on her bed, Kathryn looked at a framed picture of Chakotay. It was a fairly old picture, taken by Neelix during a party in the mess hall to celebrate Naomi's fourth birthday, but it was precious to her. The camera had perfectly captured his beautiful smile and there was such a sparkle in his eyes. Neelix had put all the pictures he had taken up in the mess hall for everyone to see, and when no one was looking, Kathryn had pinched this picture. It was the only photograph she had of him and many lonely nights on Voyager she had slept with it under her pillow.

Suddenly, the door opened and Adriena, who was dressed in orange pyjamas, appeared.

"There's a black thing with lots of big legs in my bath."

Kathryn couldn't help but smile, even though the image that came to mind made her shiver. "It's a spider," she answered. "We'll catch it in a little while and put it into the garden." She then patted the bed. "Come sit by me, darling. There's something I want to show you." She and Adriena had not yet had a chance to finish their discussion on Chakotay, and Kathryn was eager to do so before the close of yet another day.

Adriena made her way over to the bed, Blackie and Patchie faithfully following her, and sat next to Kathryn. When the child was comfortably seated, Kathryn showed her the picture of Chakotay.

"Do you know who this is?"

Adriena shook her head.

"It's your Daddy...Chakotay..."

At that, Adriena scrunched her nose and angrily pushed the picture away. "I don't want to see it! I don't!"

Kathryn put the picture down on her lap. "Do you want to tell me why?"

"I told you last night," Adriena cried. "I hate him! And I never want to see him...ever!"

"That's too bad," Kathryn said gently. "Because he wants to see you, very much."

"I don't care," Adriena retorted. "I hate him! And if he comes and takes me away, I'll be so naughty that he'll have to bring me back! I will! I'll be naughty!"

"He's not going to take you away, darling," Kathryn answered calmly. "He only wants to meet you so that..."

"But I don't want to meet him," Adriena interrupted. "I hate him!" Angrily, she reached for his picture and threw it across the room. "And I hate his picture!"

"Adriena!" Kathryn cried as the picture clanged against a distant wall and fell to the carpeted floor. "That was a very bad thing to do!"

"I don't care," the child yelled. "I hate him!"

Before Kathryn had a chance to reply, the front door chime sounded. Reluctantly, Kathryn got to her feet. It seemed that every time she tried to talk to Adriena about Chakotay, they were interrupted.

"You stay here with the dogs," she said. "I shouldn't be long."

With that, she left the room.

* * *

When Kathryn looked into her security monitor, she saw that her unexpected visitor was a woman she didn't recognize. The woman had short brown hair, blue eyes, appeared to be of middle-age, and was very smartly dressed in a beige suit.

"Computer," Kathryn said. "Security level one."

A buzz sounded, indicating that a safety forcefield had been erected in the doorway, and Kathryn opened the door. As soon as she did so, the woman spoke.

"Captain Janeway?"

"That's right," Kathryn answered. "How may I help you?"

"I'm Clara Martin," the woman declared. "I believe you have my uncle's dog. It's a small brown and white terrier mix and the local shelter says you have a dog matching his description that was found on the beach."

"We do," Kathryn said, trying not to show the disappointment she felt. Adriena had become as attached to Patchie as she had to Blackie. "Come in."

At those words, the forcefield disappeared and the woman stepped inside.

"My uncle is getting on in years," the woman explained as Kathryn shut the door, "and collapsed while out walking a few miles from here. Some passer by found him and sent him to hospital, but didn't know he had a dog. My guess is Tommy...the dog's name...went to look for help and wasn't with my uncle when he was found. I didn't know he had a dog either...we're not exactly close...and he didn't regain consciousness until last night, so I didn't make a report until today. They said there was no dog on record for my uncle, but they told me about you and gave me your contact details. I came as soon as I could as my uncle is really worried about the dog."

"I'm sure he is," Kathryn replied. "But the dog is just fine. He was poorly for a few days after suffering a fall on the rocks, but has made a full recovery." She paused. "Am I right in thinking you've come to collect the dog and not just enquire?"

"Yes. Once my uncle is well enough, he's going to be transferred to a residential home that allows pets. In the meantime, the animal is going to be kept at the hospital's pet-bay."

"Would you consider leaving him with us for a couple of days?" Kathryn asked hopefully. "Adriena...my..." she searched for the most appropriate words, "foster daughter...has become very attached to him. I think it would be easier for her to say goodbye if she could get used to the idea first."

"I'm sorry," the woman replied. "But my uncle is waiting to see him and I don't have time to bring the animal back and forth. I appreciate everything you've done and will recompense you, but the dog has to leave with me."

"No recompense will be necessary," Kathryn replied coolly. She couldn't help feel it was more a case of simply not caring about breaking a vulnerable little girl's heart than of inconvenience. "I'll get the dog."

* * *

Adriena was lying face down on the bed crying when Kathryn returned to her bedroom. Slowly, Kathryn walked towards the bed and sat down, her heart aching for the child.

"I'm afraid I've got something to tell you that might make you sad," she began cautiously. "It turns out that Patchie isn't a stray-dog after all. He belongs to an old-man who lives not far from here and his niece has come to take him home."

At this, Adriena sat up and looked at Kathryn, infinite pain in her dark eyes. "He has to leave?"

"I'm afraid so," Kathryn said as kindly as she could.

Fresh tears spilled onto Adriena's cheeks and she began to sob desperately. "No," she cried. "Kathryn...please. I'll be a good girl, I promise I will. Don't take him away, please..."

"This has nothing to do with your behavior just now," Kathryn tried to reassure her. "It just time for..."

"I will," Adriena interrupted her, "I'll be good. I'll see my daddy, do anything you want, but don't take him away. Please don't take him away..."

"I wish he didn't have to go," Kathryn replied, tears in her own eyes at the child's pain, "but I'm afraid he must. A lady is here to take him."

Adriena cried out in sheer agony now and was so upset that she couldn't get her breath. Kathryn gathered the child in her arms and held her close. "But not because of you, darling. I'd never take him or Blackie away from you, I promise. He has to go because he has an owner who loves him just as much as we do. As sad as it makes us to have to let him go, we must be happy for Patchie that he can be with his owner again."

Adriena's rigid body began to melt now and she lay her head against Kathryn's chest, weeping. Kathryn kissed her and rocked her softly until the child's tears had ebbed. She then gently drew the child away. "Shall we say goodbye to him?"

Adriena nodded.

Kathryn picked Patchie up and placed him on the bed. "We're going to miss you, old boy," she said, tickling his ear, "but we're glad you can be with your owner again. You must have missed him."

Tearfully, Adriena gathered the dog close and hugged him. "Goodbye, Patchie", she wept. "I'm glad you came and I'll never forget you."

Kathryn watched sadly as Adriena cuddled the dog, then she lay a gentle hand on the child's shoulder. "I'll take him now, darling. The lady is waiting."

Reluctantly, Adriena let go of Patchie and Kathryn took him in her arms. She then put her hand to Adriena's cheek. "I'm very proud of you, sweetheart."

Silent tears running down her face, Adriena watched as Kathryn left the room, taking her beloved pet with her.

* * *

When the lady had left with Patchie, Kathryn made her way to the kitchen to replicate a much needed coffee. Just as she was about to enjoy it, a communication chime sounded. "Incoming transportation request. Mrs Gretchen Janeway."

"Accept," Kathryn replied before taking a long sip of coffee.

In seconds, her mother appeared before her in the kitchen.

"Hi Mom," Kathryn smiled. "You're early. I'm not picking Chakotay up until nine...one his time, four yours."

"And it's not far off that now," Gretchen replied.

Kathryn glanced at the digital clock above the door and saw that it was 20:39 hours.

"Time does fly," she conceded. "But I can hardly say I've been having fun. A woman turned up for Patchie...turns out he wasn't a stray after all. Adriena's taken his leaving very badly, so all is not cozy in this cottage tonight."

"Poor child," Gretchen sympathized. "She doesn't half get put through the ringer. Is she still awake?"

"Oh yes. And before Miss Adriena gets to bed tonight, there's the small matter of a spider in her bath to take care of...at least I hope it's still in the bath." She gestured to the coffee in her hands. "I was just taking a breather."

Gretchen couldn't help but laugh. "And well you need to. You're supposed to be taking things easy, remember?"

"Kind of hard to forget," Kathryn teased, "with you constantly reminding me."

"And I'll keep reminding you," Gretchen answered. "And about cutting down on coffee too. You drink far too much."

Kathryn sighed. "Not you too...I have enough lectures from Chakotay."

"And he's right. Caffeine's a toxin. You need to take better care of yourself. It would be a crime for those who love you not to remind you."

Kathryn's eyes twinkled. "Does that mean you finally believe Chakotay loves me?"

Gretchen smiled mischievously. "I'll let you know tomorrow."

Kathryn lowered her coffee, knowing that look only too well. "Oh no...not the photos..."

"Years 1-18 all inclusive. If he hasn't fallen asleep with his eyes open by the end, I'll know he loves you."

"Oh Mom," Kathryn protested, "you can't."

Gretchen laughed softly. "Just watch me."

* * *

While Gretchen went to catch the spider, Kathryn returned to her bedroom to attend to Adriena. She found the child sitting on the floor, looking at the forgotten picture of Chakotay.

"Handsome, isn't he?" Kathryn said, sitting beside her.

Adriena made no reply, just gazed tearfully at the picture.

"You have his eyes. His hair too." Kathryn gestured to Chakotay's tattoo. "That's a marking of his people. Your people too."

Adriena shook her head. "I'm a nothing. That's what she said."

"Who, darling? Who said that?"

"Potrina," she replied. "She looked after me sometimes."

"I see. Why did she say that?"

"Because I'm not full Cardassian or Human. She said I'm a one-legged ugly freak."

"I'm sorry she said that," Kathryn said sadly. "Because it's not true."

"My daddy will think I am too. Aunt Varlina said he hates Cardassians."A tear ran down her cheek. "I wish I was full human. Then my daddy wouldn't want to beat me."

"Your daddy doesn't hate all Cardassians," Kathryn said kindly. "He only hates what some Cardassians did to his family and his planet. And he could never hate you, or beat you. What makes you think he would?"

Adriena looked up at Kathryn now. "Aunt Varlina said so. She said if he keeps me, I should expect some beatings."

Tenderly, Kathryn brushed a stray strand of hair away from the child's face. "Your aunt was very wrong. Your daddy is a kind and gentle man and would never do anything to hurt you."

"You think so?"

"I know so. All he wants is to see you. And you mustn't worry about him taking you away. He and I have talked about everything and we both agree that you should stay with me."

At this, the pain in the child's eyes vanished and was replaced with infinite joy. "Like forever?"

Kathryn nodded. "Forever."

Adriena beamed a smile, her joy incontainable. "Oh Kathryn..."

Instinctively, she raised herself up and wrapped her arms around Kathryn's neck. Kathryn kissed her and held her in return.

"You're my little girl now," she said, "and I love you. And I love your daddy. Will you meet him, darling. Just for me?"

Adriena drew away and nodded with a smile. "I'd do anything for you."

The words brought a lump to Kathryn's throat, but she managed to swallow it. "Then I'll tell him when I see him just now."

The child's face fell. "You're going out?"

"Just for a little while. My mother is here to look after you." She tapped the child's nose. "And, if you ask nicely, I'm sure she'll read you the rest of Dinah the Dinosaur."

Adriena smiled but there was a sadness in her eyes. "I'm sorry I threw the picture."

"Apology accepted," Kathryn said kindly. "I'm sorry that Patchie had to leave. I know how much you had come to love him. But you do understand, don't you, that him going had nothing to do with you throwing the picture?"

Adriena nodded. "His family wanted him back."

"That's right. And we couldn't keep him from his family, could we?"

Adriena shook her head.

"But there are lots of dogs just like him who have no one to love them. If you like, you, me, and your daddy can go to an animal shelter tomorrow and get one."

Adriena's eyes lit up again. "Oh yes. I would like, I would..."

Kathryn smiled, happy at the child's joy. "Then we will."

* * *

Waiting for Kathryn to arrive, Chakotay stood by the window of his room at the sanatorium and looked out at the city of San Francisco. It was a bright day and many people walked to and fro on the street below. At last, the door opened and Kathryn hurried in.

"I'm sorry I'm late," she said. "There was chaos at the cottage."

Chakotay turned to her and smiled. "What happened? The dogs misbehave?"

"No," she replied, "but you're close when you say dog. A lady came for Patchie. Turns out he wasn't a stray after all. He belongs to an old man who lives only a few miles away. Adriena was very upset at him going "

"I'm sorry," Chakotay said, walking over to her. "When I found him with Blackie on the beach I assumed he must have been a stray too, that they knew each other."

"So did I. But I guess Blackie picked up his scent when Adriena put him out to do his business." She paused. "But she's okay now. I've told her we'll take her to get another dog tomorrow." She smiled warmly. "I've persuaded her to meet you."

"That's great," Chakotay smiled in return. "Thank you."

Kathryn closed the gap between them and linked her arm with his. "Come on. I think we've both seen enough of this place to last a lifetime."

"I'll second that."

"But I must warn you," Kathryn said as they walked towards the door. "My mother plans on giving you the Gretchen good-guy test...my lifetime in pictures, baby to lady. She somehow thinks any man worthy of me must want to see me in diapers and pig-tails. You may end up back in here when she's killed you with boredom."

Chakotay laughed and pressed the door's open button. "I kind of like your mother's test. I'm sure you looked cute in diapers and pig tails."

Kathryn shook her head in feigned dismay. "You're both incorrigible."

The doors opened and they both left the room.

* * *

After giving Chakotay a tour of her childhood home, Kathryn stood with her former first officer on the porch she had spent many a happy hour as a little girl. It was snowing softly and pretty flakes fell over distant twilight fields.

"It all looks just as I imagined," Chakotay commented. "Just as you described."

"So many times when we were on Voyager," Kathryn said, gazing out at the fields, "I dreamt of being back here." She paused and turned to him. "And, in my dreams, you were here too...just like you are now."

Chakotay turned to her and their eyes met. For a long moment they gazed at each other, then Kathryn reached into a pocket of a thick woolen cardigan she was wearing and pulled out a gold envelope. "This is for you."

Chakotay took the envelope curiously and opened it carefully. Inside was a small card with elegant gold writing.

"You always said it was your dream to swim in the Gulf of Mexico when we got home," Kathryn said. "Well, I hope you're up for company."

Tears welled in Chakotay's eyes. The card was an invitation to a romantic weekend for two at a luxury hotel on the Emerald Coast. He looked up at her, his love and gratitude visible in his eyes. "This is just...Thankyou..."

Kathryn smiled, the love in her eyes perfectly reflecting the love in his. "It's only a fraction of what you deserve."

Their eyes locked again, then Chakotay broke their gaze to put the card into a pocket of his jacket. As he did so, tears filled Kathryn's eyes.

"I know," she said quietly.

Chakotay looked up at her, puzzled. "Know what?"

"That you never had the virus..."

The joy in Chakotay's eyes dulled and he lowered them.

"The Doctor let it slip earlier," Kathryn went on. "Your medical file was on display and he thought I'd seen it."

For a long moment Chakotay said nothing, then he looked up at her as a tear ran down his cheek. "I did it for you," he said. "I couldn't leave you on a planet all alone and I couldn't let you die." His voice fell to a whisper. "Don't be angry with me..."

At that, all Kathryn could do was gather him close. "Oh Chakotay," she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. "How could I be angry? You were willing to sacrifice everything for me..."

Chakotay held her in return and lay his head against hers. "It was no sacrifice. You're everything to me." He lay his lips against her auburn hair in a gentle kiss. "I love you so much."

"I love you," Kathryn said tearfully. "And for the rest of my life I want to show you how much."

They held each other tight, held each other long. Then, losing themselves in each other's gaze, their lips finally drew together and they kissed softly in the falling snow.

END OF CHAPTER FIFTEEN


	16. Chapter 16

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures**

**Chapter Sixteen**

Wearing a pink velvet dress, a pretty white lace cardigan, and shiny white sandals on her feet, Adriena sat on her bed while Kathryn put a pink velvet bandana on her head. It was late afternoon, and Kathryn was getting her ready to meet Chakotay. Before taking Adriena to the animal shelter, they had decided to take her to the zoo, and the child had picked out this dress to wear for the occasion. When the hair adornment was in place, Kathryn brushed Adriena's long silky hair again and then tidied the lace collar on her dress.

"There," she said, when all was done. "All ready."

Adriena made no reply, just gazed sadly at her hands.

"You've been very quiet all day, darling," Kathryn said in concern. "Are you worried about meeting your daddy?"

Adriena hesitated, then nodded.

"Well, there's no need to be," Kathryn reassured her kindly. "You will like him, I promise."

At that, Adriena looked up at her. "But what if he doesn't like me?"

"He will," Kathryn smiled. "He will love you."

Suddenly, the front door chime sounded.

"That'll be him now," Kathryn declared. "I'll go let him in and then call you through, ok?"

Adriena nodded sadly.

Kathryn kissed her cheek. "Good girl."

Then, without another word, she left the room.

* * *

"Right on time," Kathryn said as she opened the door to let Chakotay in. He was dressed casually, but smartly, in brown pants and a black jacket, and his hair was shorter than when she had last seen him.

"Your hair," she remarked. "Looks good..."

Chakotay smiled. "Courtesy of your mother. I mentioned I'd like a change of style and she offered to oblige."

"I bet," Kathryn said, closing the door. "She loves fiddling with hair and things. When I was a child, she'd forever put ribbons in my hair, alice-bands, bandanas, pony-tails, plaits, french-plaits, curls, waves, twists...you name it. I don't know where she got the fancy."

Chakotay raised his eyebrows in amusement. "Really?"

Kathryn laughed softly. "Well, I suppose I do take after her a little bit. I mean, it is nice to have a change of style every now and then, isn't it?"

Chakotay nodded and they looked at each other warmly. Then, a little awkwardly as displays of affection were still new between them, Chakotay opened his arms to her. Kathryn gladly responded and they held each other close.

"You'll be glad to know you passed the Gretchen good guy test," she informed him as she drew away. "Mom called me earlier, she could sing nothing but your praises."

Chakotay smiled. "She's a great lady. We got on like a..." He stopped in mid-sentence as he felt a sharp pain between the eyes. Instinctively, he closed his eyes and raised his hand to his head.

Kathryn looked at him anxiously. "What's wrong?"

"I just have a little headache," he said, withdrawing his hand. "It'll pass."

Kathryn caressed his arm in concern. "Perhaps we should go to the zoo tomorrow...or next week. You need to take things easy."

"No, I'll be fine. All we'll be doing is sitting in a tour-car. It's hardly strenuous. I don't want to disappoint Adriena." He paused. "Is she still ok about meeting me?"

"Yes," Kathryn replied. "But she's very nervous."

"Me too," he confessed. "Even though I've met her before, it's different as myself. I want her to like me...want to do and say all the right things..."

"And you will," Kathryn reassured him, "if you just be yourself." She squeezed his arm affectionately. "I'll go get her."

With that, she made her way over to Adriena's bedroom, opened the door, and spoke to the child.

"You may come through now, sweetheart."

From within, Chakotay heard Adriena speak. "Is it my daddy?"

"Yes," Kathryn answered. "And he's very much looking forward to meeting you."

A few moments later, Adriena appeared. The child was walking with pink crutches that matched her dress, and her black dog was faithfully at her side. As soon as she entered the room, she stopped walking and looked up at Chakotay with wide, suspicious, eyes.

Chakotay smiled warmly, his own eyes moist. "Hello, Adriena."

The child made no reply.

"I'm very glad to meet you at last."

Still no reply.

"You're looking very pretty in that dress."

Silence.

Chakotay reached into a pocket of his jacket and pulled out a small yellow velvet box. "I have a present for you."

Adriena scrunched her nose. "I don't want it."

Chakotay glanced at Kathryn, and Kathryn put a gentle hand on the child's shoulder. "That isn't very polite, darling."

"I don't care," Adriena cried, turning to her. "I don't want it!"

"Then I'll keep it," Chakotay said calmly, "unless you change your mind."

"I won't," Adriena said, looking at him fiercely.

As Chakotay put the box back in his jacket pocket, Kathryn spoke, trying to ease the sudden heavy tension.

"I think we should get going to the zoo. Are we all ready?"

"I certainly am," Chakotay smiled.

Kathryn turned to Adriena. "Adriena?"

The child hesitated, but then nodded.

"Then let's go," Kathryn smiled.

* * *

Beneath a sunny sky, Adriena sat next to Kathryn as they toured Houston zoo by cir-car. Every car was private and allowed visitors who didn't want to walk around the zoo to see the sights from the cir-track at their own pace. There were over a thousand cars, all circulating below and above each other. The cir-track was separate from the rest of the zoo, ensuring the safety of foot-passengers, and a natural environment projection concealed the cars from the view of the animals. Adriena was in her element looking at all the different animals and Kathryn had never seen her so happy and excited. While she was still wary of Chakotay, her hostility towards him was forgotten in her happiness, and she appeared to be listening carefully to everything he told her about the different animals.

"I love it here," the child said, turning to look at Kathryn as they left an elephant patch, "I really do. Thank you for bringing me."

Kathryn smiled. "You're welcome."

A refreshment stall came into view and Chakotay spoke. "Anyone for ice-cream?"

"I sure am," Kathryn replied. "Adriena?"

Adriena gave a little frown. "What's ice-cream?"

"Have I not given you ice-cream?" Kathryn asked. Then she considered. "No, I don't think I have."

"Well," Chakotay smiled. "We could tell you what it is, but how about we show you instead? I'm sure you'll like it."

"Ok," Adriena replied.

Chakotay pressed the stop button and the car came to a stop at the stall. As he was closer to the stall's attendant than Kathryn, he took charge of the order.

"One 99 with strawberry sauce," he said to the young girl behind the counter. He then glanced at Kathryn. "Let me guess, coffee sauce for you?"

"Right first time," Kathryn smiled.

"Another with coffee sauce," he said to the attendant. "And another with chocolate sauce."

Adriena watched as the attendant worked, and her eyes widened in delight when she saw the young girl hand Chakotay a pretty yellow cone full of fluffy white stuff topped with bright red sauce and a bar of chocolate. Chakotay took the cone and held it out to her.

"One vanilla ice cream with strawberry sauce and chocolate flake all for you."

For a moment, Adriena did nothing, just gazed in amazement at the treat before her. Then, just to be sure that it really was for her, she looked up at Kathryn, her eyes questioning.

"Go ahead," Kathryn smiled. "Take it. As your daddy says, all yours."

Adriena reverently reached for the cone and scrutinized every detail. "How do I eat it?"

"Like this," Kathryn said, taking her own ice-cream from Chakotay. "Watch..."

She licked the ice-cream and sauce and then swallowed. Adriena studied her closely, and then copied. As she tasted the sweet ice, she laughed. "It's cold..."

"Very cold," Chakotay said. "So we eat it slowly."

As he took his own ice-cream from the attendant, the young girl spoke.

"I don't meant to be rude, but are you Commander Chakotay and Captain Janeway?"

Kathryn answered. "That's right."

"I thought so," the girl continued. "I'm going to the academy this year and think you're both amazing...the way you survived in the delta quadrant and got your crew home... All my friends think you're amazing too..." Rather flustered, the girl picked up a pen and a piece of blue note-paper. "Would you both sign this, please? My friend Delia is too sick to go to the academy, but she's the greatest fan of you both I know and it would mean so much to her..."

"We'd be happy too," Kathryn smiled.

The girl handed Chakotay the paper and pen and he and Kathryn signed it, dedicating their autographs to her friend.

"Thank you so much," the girl said when Chakotay handed the paper back to her. "This is so good of you."

"No trouble at all," Kathryn smiled. "Good luck at the academy."

The girl smiled in return. "Thank you, Ma'am."

Chakotay re-activated the car and they moved on.

Looking up from her ice-cream, Adriena questioned. "How did she know your names?"

Kathryn responded. "Do you remember what I told you about your daddy and I being very far away in space?"

Adriena nodded.

"Well, our homecoming has been news all over the Federation. A lot of people know who we are."

Adriena accepted this answer and tucked back into her ice-cream.

Chakotay watched as she enjoyed it. "Good?"

Adriena looked up at him and nodded. Then, for the first time since he had met her as himself, she gave him a warm smile.

* * *

The reception at Houston animal shelter was quiet when Kathryn, Chakotay and Adriena arrived there after enjoying a picnic at the zoo.

"I'm afraid we have very few dogs at present that suit your requirements," the male receptionist said. "We have to assess each dog individually, as often dogs from an abusive background are too nervous to be around children, and of the ones that are ok to be adopted by families, they are either girls or bigger or older than you would like. I'm afraid all we can offer you is a three month old puppy. We had a litter brought in a couple of weeks ago and they are now ready to be adopted."

"A puppy will be fine," Kathryn said. "We'll take him."

"Are you sure? Puppies are more work than grown dogs and there are plenty of other shelters."

"I'm sure," Kathryn replied. "A puppy may be a better idea anyway."

The man smiled. "Then I'll take you to the litter and you can choose one."

As the man lead Kathryn, Chakotay and Adriena down a sunny corridor to the room where the puppies were residing, Adriena noticed several dogs playing on the grass outside. They were all different colors, different sizes, and were happily playing with balls and other toys their guardians amused them with. Adriena stopped walking so she could look at them, and as she did so, her eye caught a small golden dog walking slowly across the lawn to where a red ball lay. He seemed to be all alone and only had three legs. When he reached his target, he lay down on the grass and began to chew the ball.

"Adriena...are you coming?"

The voice was Kathryn's.

Adriena turned to her. "I don't want a puppy," she said. "I want him."

Chakotay walked over to her and looked out of the window. "Who, sweetheart?"

Adriena pointed to the golden dog outside.

"I don't think we can have him," he said. "But I'll find out." He turned to their guide. "The golden spaniel mix...my daughter's interested in him."

"That's Goldby," the man replied. "He's adoptable, but he's getting on in years and only has three legs." At those insensitive words, the man blushed. "I mean, he's disabled. I mean...he has special needs. I mean..."

"It's okay," Kathryn said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We know what you meant." With that, she left him and joined Adriena and Chakotay at the window.

"We can have him, darling, if you want him," she began, "but he's old in doggie years which means he won't be with us as long as Blackie."

"I want him," Adriena said firmly.

Kathryn smiled. "Then he's yours."

* * *

While Adriena gave Goldby a tour of her bedroom, Kathryn replicated a coffee for herself and a hot chocolate for Chakotay. As she brought the drinks through to the living room, she saw that Chakotay was rubbing his temples as he sat before the fire. She put the drinks down on a table before them and looked at him in concern. "Is your head still hurting?"

"Yes," Chakotay replied. "I've taken another hypo-shot but it's not really helping."

Kathryn sat beside him on the couch. "I think you should see the doctor."

"I am this evening," Chakotay answered. "Just for a check-up. But he did say headaches were to be expected."

"He also said that you should rest. And I'm going to see that you do. After this drink, it's bedtime in Bloomington for you."

Chakotay gave a tired smile. "Yes, Ma'am."

Suddenly, Adriena's bedroom door opened and the child appeared, Blackie and Goldby with her.

"Goldby likes my room," the child beamed. "I can tell he does. And he likes Blackie too..."

"I'm glad to hear it," Kathryn smiled.

Adriena looked away from her guardian to her father. Gone was all the wariness and hostility in her eyes, now there was only admiration and affection.

"Thank you for getting him for me, Daddy. And for coming to the zoo."

Chakotay smiled. "It was a pleasure."

Adriena hobbled over to him and stood before him. "If you still have it, I would like my present now."

"I certainly do still have it," Chakotay replied. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the little yellow box again. As he did so, Kathryn moved up on the couch to make room for the child. "Come sit by your daddy," she said, patting the couch.

Adriena gladly sat in the vacant space and eagerly took the gift from her father. Carefully, her little fingers opened the box and she gasped when she saw a gold necklace sparkling amidst white satin. It had a pretty gold chain and a gold pendant in the shape of his tattoo.

"Your people's symbol," Adriena said, touching the pendant tenderly.

"Our people," Chakotay corrected her.

Adriena looked up at him and smiled. "Our people."

Chakotay smiled in return, then he spoke. "Would you like me to put it on you?"

Adriena nodded enthusiastically.

Chakotay took the necklace out of the box and gently put it around her neck. When it was in place, Adriena looked at it proudly. Then she turned to Kathryn. "Look, Kathryn..."

"Very pretty," Kathryn smiled. "You'll have to treasure it always."

"I will," Adriena replied. "I love it." She then turned back to Chakotay and looked up at him happily. "Thank you, Daddy."

Chakotay smiled and then put a tender hand to her cheek. "You're a very special little girl," he said sincerely. "And I'm very proud to be your daddy."

Adriena smiled, tears in her eyes, and Chakotay kissed her little cheek.

Then, feeling a little dizzy, he drew away and got to his feet. "Well, I...I'd better get going."

As he stood up, Kathryn noticed he was shaking a little and perspiring at the brow. These symptoms worried her. He seemed to be getting worse, rather than better, and wasn't quite himself. "Call me after you've seen the Doctor," she said, getting to her feet. "I want a full update."

"I will," Chakotay promised. He then smiled at his daughter. "Goodbye, Adriena."

The child smiled warmly. "Goodbye, daddy."

As Kathryn showed him out, Adriena turned to the two dogs who were sitting before the fire.

"Look Blackie and Goldby," she said, holding out her necklace, "look what my daddy gave me..."

Blackie trotted over to her, but Goldby stayed where he was.

"Come here," Adriena called to him. "Come sit with us."

The dog hesitated, but then went over to her.

"Good boy," Adriena said, stroking his head. "You don't have to be afraid with me. I'm not going to let anyone be mean to you because you only have three legs."

From the doorway, Kathryn watched, a sadness in her heart, as the child petted the dog. She had clearly chosen the animal because, in some way, she could identify and empathize with him.

"Is that why you chose him?" she asked, walking over to her, "because you were afraid people would be mean to him?"

Adriena nodded. "No one, except Karlta, liked me because of how I am."

Kathryn sat beside her. "Who was Karlta?"

"A teacher who used to be at school," Adriena answered. "She took care of me every time I got beat."

Kathryn put her hand on the child's shoulder. "Who beat you, darling?"

"Tarvak...at the home. She would beat me for being naughty."

"I see," Kathryn said quietly.

"Sometimes I got beat at school too." Tears flooded her eyes. "You say I have to go to school here, but I don't want too."

"I understand," Kathryn said kindly. "And if you really don't like it, your daddy and I will arrange home-schooling, but I think you should give it a try. You may find schools here very different."

Adriena made no reply, just lowered her eyes sadly.

"The children and people who were mean to you," Kathryn continued, "they didn't see you for who you really are. Those kind of people are not worth having as friends."

A tear ran down Adriena's cheek. "I wish wasn 't different," she said. "I wish I could be like the other children..."

"And you are, darling," Kathryn said gently. "You're exactly the same as them. We're all unique...all our own special creation." She paused and then brought up the subject she had wanted to for some time but hadn't been quite sure how too. "Many years ago, I was in a serious shuttle accident and broke several bones in my leg. I can only walk on it now because doctors were able to fix it." She paused again. "Our doctors should be able to fix your leg too...and help your face to grow just as you want it too."

At these words, Adriena looked up at Kathryn, her eyes sparkling. "Really?"

Kathryn nodded. "Our doctors are very clever. They can help you grow to look human or cardassian or part of both."

"Human,"Adriena declared. "I want to look like you and daddy."

Kathryn gently brushed her fingers against the child's cheek. There was so much unstated affection in those words, not just for her, but for Chakotay aswell. "I take it you liked your daddy."

Adriena nodded. "I think I might love him."

Kathryn smiled warmly. "I think you might too."

* * *

When Adriena was finally fast asleep, and Blackie and his new companion were resting before the fire, Kathryn treated herself to a luxurious soak in the bath. Just as she was getting out of it, a chime sounded.

"Incoming transportation request. Mrs Gretchen Janeway."

Kathryn frowned. She wasn't expecting her mother at this time of night.

"Accept," she said, wrapping a white robe around herself.

Seconds later, her mother appeared in the bathroom.

"Mom..." Kathryn said. "I wasn't expecting you."

"I know," Gretchen replied, "but I didn't want to tell you over the comm..." She stepped forward and put a gentle hand on her daughter's shoulder. "It's Chakotay. He's taken a turn for the worst."

At those words, Kathryn flinched. "How do you mean?"

"He collapsed while we were having dinner. I called the Doctor and he immediately admitted him to the sanatorium. I came to tell you as soon as I could."

"You say collapse," Kathryn said quietly. "How do you mean exactly?"

"He's unconscious," her mother replied. "And, from what I can gather, it's quite serious." Her voice fell to a whisper. "I'm sorry."

Blood drained out of Kathryn's face. "I...I have to go to him..."

"Of course," her mother replied. "You get ready, I'll take care of Adriena."

* * *

Quarter of an hour later, Kathryn was sitting outside the intensive care unit at the sanatorium. A nurse told her that the Doctor would be with her as soon as he could, but it was almost an hour before he eventually appeared. When he did at last leave the emergency room, Kathryn got to her feet.

"What's happening, Doctor?" she asked anxiously. "How can he be in danger? You said the switch was successful."

"And it was," the Doctor answered gently. "But there have been unforeseen complications."

"What kind of complications? What's going on?"

The Doctor gestured to the seat she had been occupying. "Please, sit."

"I'm fine standing," Kathryn replied. "Just tell me what's happening."

The Doctor took a holographic breath and then spoke. "I'm afraid the Commander has Zylopora."

Kathryn frowned. "What's that?"

"The disease Adam Shaw suffered from as a teenager."

For a long moment, Kathryn was silent. Then she spoke. "I see," she said quietly.

"We're doing everything we can," the Doctor continued, "but this virus is very aggressive in humans."

"I don't understand this," Kathryn said, trying hard to make sense of it all. "How can Chakotay be infected? Adam was effectively cured."

"I don't know exactly," the Doctor replied. "This virus is extremely rare as it's only contracted by a bite from an infected insect. It isn't contagious from humanoid to humanoid and there have only been a dozen cases in medical history. There is still a lot we don't know about it, especially as no two people have experienced the exact same symptoms. My guess is the virus entered Chakotay's bloodstream due to the bio-merger, but anti-bodies from Adam's organs kept the virus from making him sick. After the switch-back, my guess is Chakotay's body could no longer fight the virus successfully."

Kathryn absorbed his words, then spoke, hardly daring to ask the only question she wanted an answer too. "He will be ok, won't he?"

"At this moment it's impossible to say," the Doctor said as gently as he could. "The Commander has slipped into a coma and is in a critical condition. If he does wake up, there could be some physical or mental impairment."

Tears filled Kathryn's eyes and she could say nothing...could hardly think...

The Doctor stepped forward and put his hand on her shoulder. "Would you like to see him?"

Kathryn nodded.

"Then follow me," the Doctor said kindly.

Almost absently, Kathryn followed the Doctor into the intensive care unit. Chakotay was lying on a biobed, his chest bare and covered in a purple rash, and he was being monitored by various machines. Slowly, almost mechanically, Kathryn made her way over to him and sat on a chair beside the bed. Trembling, she took his hand in hers, squeezed it, and kissed it tenderly.

"Don't leave me," she whispered tearfully. "You can beat this. You must."

END OF CHAPTER 16


	17. Chapter 17

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures**

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

**SIX WEEKS LATER**

"I'm afraid there's no change," the Doctor said as Kathryn entered the sterile room Chakotay was occupying at the sanatorium.

No change.

It was a phrase Kathryn was only too familiar with now. Every time she came to visit him, she was told the same thing:

No change.

But, as much as she had come to hate those words, so long as she heard them and not something worse, she was thankful. As her Aunt Martha always said, where there's life there's hope, and as long as Chakotay was alive, there was hope.

"I do have some good news, however," the Doctor went on. "Selene Moffett, the leading specialist in non-Federation viruses, has returned from a deep-space research mission and is coming to see Chakotay tomorrow. It's almost two decades since Adam was ill and medical science has advanced considerably in that time. Dr Moffett may be able to help him."

"That is good news," Kathryn said, going over to a small cabinet next to Chakotay's bed and changing old flowers for fresh ones.

As she did so, the Doctor studied her. She was pale, drawn, and dark circles shadowed her eyes.

"I hope you took my advice yesterday and had a good meal followed by an early night."

"I've got far too much to do to think of food and sleep," Kathryn answered. "I've got Adriena to take care of, the dogs, the cottage, the house, commitments at the academy, public engagements...and Chakotay to visit."

The Doctor walked over to her. "And, as always, you're putting too much on yourself. You're not immortal, Captain...I mean Admiral." Starfleet had given the promised Welcome Home Extravaganza two days ago, and Kathryn had been promoted to Admiral. With Chakotay being ill, it was a celebration Kathryn would rather have had postponed, but so much planning had gone into everything that it was impossible. "You need to take better care of yourself or you'll end up in hospital too."

"I don't want to hear this," Kathryn said, turning to face him. "I'm doing my best in a very difficult situation and what I need right now is your support, not your constant condemnation!"

"I'm not condemning you, Admiral. I'm concerned about you. As always, when something happens you don't want to face, you throw yourself into work. But you can't go on as you are. You need to deal with this, you need to face up to things."

"I am," Kathryn cried. "I am facing things!" She pointed at Chakotay. "What's tearing me apart is right there, right now. So don't tell me I'm not facing things, because you don't know how much I don't want to be here!" Tears flooded her eyes and she could say no more.

Gently, the Doctor reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, but Kathryn shrugged him off. "Just leave me, Doctor," she said, struggling to hold back the tears. "Please..."

"Admiral..." the Doctor protested.

"I said leave me!"

Reluctantly, the Doctor relented and left the room.

When he was gone, Kathryn sat in a chair beside Chakotay's bed and took his hand in hers. "You've got to wake up," she said desperately. "Please wake up. I can't take this anymore, I can't..."

* * *

Lying on her bed, Adriena raised up her right leg. It had been over a month now since her first corrective surgery, and while it would take several more operations for her to gain full use of her limb, she could now move it a little. To save her going through surgery twice in the space of a few weeks, her face had been operated on at the same time, and she now looked fully human. Her skin was just a shade lighter than Chakotay's and a silky fringe graced her once asymmetrical forehead.

"Alright, young lady," Gretchen said as she emerged from the bathroom. "Your bath is ready."

Obediently, Adriena sat up, picked up her crutches, and made her way to the bathroom.

"When will Kathryn be home?" the child asked as she reached Gretchen. "I haven't seen her since lunch-time. It's bed-time now."

"I'm sure she'll be home soon," Gretchen said, trying not to show her own concern about Kathryn's absence to the child. She knew how prone her daughter was to bouts of severe depression, and knew she was walking on a very thin wire right now. Any moment she was going to fall. Where exactly Kathryn was at this minute she had no idea. Kathryn had said she was going to do some work on the house, but that was over five hours ago. Several times Gretchen had tried to contact her, but she could get no response. If her daughter did not show up soon, then she was going to have to call the Doctor or Admiral Paris.

"I want to show her a picture I made for my daddy at school today. It's of the animals we saw at the zoo. I thought it might make him feel better."

Gretchen looked at the child sadly. She had no idea how sick her father was. All she knew was that he was sick and she couldn't see him.

"You can show me," Gretchen said. "I'd like to see it."

"Then I will," Adriena smiled. "I just hope my daddy likes it." She paused. "When will he be better?"

Gretchen put a gentle hand to the child's rosy cheek. "Soon, darling," she said quietly. "I hope very soon."

* * *

All was still, silent. Lying on cold tiles beside the holographic pool that Chakotay had programmed at the house, Kathryn stared vacantly into the shimmering water. Next to her was a half empty bottle of whisky and in her hand was a forgotten glass. Remnants of tears stained her cheeks and her eyes were red.

"Don't cry, Kathryn."

The voice was familiar...dearly familiar. Kathryn sat up and tried to focus her eyes.

"Chakotay?"

"That's right," he answered. "I'm here."

As the mist cleared from her eyes, she saw Chakotay kneeling beside her.

"Oh Chakotay," she wept, "I thought you'd left me..."

"I will never leave you," he said softly. "I'll always be with you."

"I love you so much," she continued. "More than I have ever let you know. And I want you to know. I want you to know how much I love you."

"I do know," he replied. "You have told me so many times without saying the words." He smiled, dimples showing. "But I do like to hear the words."

"Then I'll say them again," she said. "I love you, Chakotay, I love you so much..."

"And I love you," he said gently. "Don't cry, Kathryn. Everything is going to be alright." He then got to his feet. "I have to go now."

Kathryn frowned. "Go where?"

"It isn't my time..."

Without another word, he walked away. Kathryn turned in his direction, but there was no sign of him at all. She was completely alone in an empty room.

* * *

"Kathryn..." Gretchen cried when her daughter finally returned to the cottage at midnight. "Where on earth have you been? I've been worried sick! I was just about to call the Doctor..."

"I told you," Kathryn answered. "I've been at the house..."

The unmistakable smell of alcohol left her breath and Gretchen closed the gap between them. "You've been drinking."

Kathryn made no reply.

"Alcohol is no solution," Gretchen went on. "You know that."

"To be honest," Kathryn said. "I don't know what I know anymore."

Tentatively, Gretchen reached out and put a gentle hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Come and sit by the fire. Let's talk."

"I don't want to talk," Kathryn replied "I just want to go to bed."

Gretchen looked at her in concern. "I'm not happy leaving you alone with Adriena when you've been drinking."

"Then stay," Kathryn said, breaking free of her touch. "Share Adriena's bed, share mine, take the couch...do what you want. I just want to go to bed."

With that, she disappeared into her bedroom.

* * *

Alone in her bedroom, Kathryn lay on her bed and stared at the ceiling. A part of her wanted to sleep and never wake up but another part of her didn't want to rest at all. Her body was exhausted, but her mind was screaming, and every time she tried to close her eyes, terrible visions haunted her.

Suddenly, her personal commbadge beeped. As quickly as she could, Kathryn reached for it and responded. "Janeway here."

"Admiral," the Doctor said, his voice chirpy. "I have great news. Chakotay's come out of the coma."

At this, Kathryn sat up, her heart racing. "He has? I'll be right there..."

"Not so fast," the Doctor said. "Dr Moffett's still with him and he won't be allowed any visitors until at least the morning. You get some sleep."

"Dr Moffett? But I thought she wasn't coming until tomorrow."

"There was a change of plan. She arrived about three hours ago and began to treat him immediately. It was touch and go for a while, but suffice it to say that the Commander pulled through and is going to be just fine."

Tears of joy filled Kathryn's eyes and she couldn't speak.

"Admiral? Are you there?"

"Yes," Kathryn said at last. "Thank you, Doctor. Thank you so much."

"It's really Dr Moffett you should thank," he replied. "Now, you get some rest. Doctor's orders."

"I will," Kathryn smiled. "And thank you again."

"Goodnight, Admiral."

The connection then terminated and all went silent. It took Kathryn a while to fully absorb his words, then she got up and made her way into the living room. Her mother was standing by the sofa, trying to find the button to turn it into a bed.

"I just heard from the Doctor," Kathryn said, going over to her. "Chakotay's come out of the coma and is going to be ok."

Before she knew it, her mother had scooped her in her arms. "Oh darling," she said. "That's just fantastic...fantastic.."

Kathryn returned her embrace and they joyfully held each other before the fire.

* * *

As soon as Kathryn got up the next morning, Adriena brought her painting to show her.

"It's wonderful," Kathryn said, looking at all the animals the child had painted amongst tall trees and silver blobs that were evidently tour-cars. "Did you do all this by yourself?"

"I did," she said proudly. "Will you give it to my daddy for me?"

"You can give it to him yourself," Kathryn smiled. "Your daddy is a lot better...which means you can see him."

"Really? When?"

"Perhaps tonight."

At that, Adriena turned happily to Gretchen. "Did you hear that, Gretchen? My daddy is better and I can see him."

"Yes," Gretchen smiled. "I heard."

* * *

When Adriena had left for school later that afternoon, Kathryn took Blackie and Goldby to the beach. She longed with all her heart to see Chakotay, but it was still very early in San Francisco and she had to wait a couple more hours. As she was walking back towards the cottage, a tall, slim, feminine figure came to meet her.

"Seven," Kathryn smiled warmly. "This is a surprise."

"Good morning, Admiral," the former drone replied.

Kathryn noticed that instead of her usual catsuit, Seven was wearing a Starfleet uniform. "What's with the uniform?"

"I have joined Starfleet," Seven explained. "I was told by Admiral Paris at the Welcome Home Extravaganza that if I wished to join as a Science Officer, I would be made an honorary Lieutenant. I enrolled yesterday and am leaving for deep space aboard The Celestial this afternoon. I did not want to leave without saying goodbye."

"This is a big decision," Kathryn replied. "Are you sure you want a career in Starfleet? There are so many other avenues open to you...so many other options to explore. Space is all you've ever known."

"Precisely. It is all I know and the only way of life I know. And I have experienced enough of life on this planet to know that civilian life is not for me. Everything here is so hectic, disorganized, chaotic. I crave the discipline and order of life on board a starship."

"Then I wish you all the best," Kathryn said. "And, for what it's worth, I believe you will be a fine Starfleet officer, perhaps even a First Officer or Captain some day."

"If I do achieve such a ranking," Seven answered. "You shall be my role-model."

A lump gathered in Kathryn's throat at that, but she managed to swallow it. "How long is your voyage?"

"Three years."

"That's a long time for a first trip," Kathryn said, concerned. "I would recommend something shorter."

"It is far too short for my liking," Seven replied. "But it will have to suffice." She paused. "If you wish, I can write to you of my experiences."

"I would like that," Kathryn smiled. Her smile then faded as she thought of the Doctor. He was going to miss her so much. "Have you said goodbye to the Doctor?"

"Not yet," Seven said uncomfortably, "but I mean to." She then changed the subject. "Any news on Commander Chakotay?"

"Yes," Kathryn said happily. "He's out of danger. He regained consciousness last night."

"That is good news."

"It certainly is."

"And I hope you will both have many happy years together."

At those words, Kathryn flinched. Her relationship with Chakotay was still a secret. "How do you...?"

"An impression," Seven clarified. "My impression is you and the Commander are...a couple."

"And how would you feel about that?" Kathryn asked cautiously.

"It is none of my concern. What the Commander and I shared is in the past and I no longer harbor any romantic feelings towards him. I simply hope you will find in his company the happiness and fulfillment I could not."

Kathryn smiled, relieved at her well-meaning, if somewhat mis-chosen, words. "Thank you, Seven."

* * *

The Doctor was leaving Chakotay's room when Kathryn arrived at the sanatorium a couple of hours later.

"Admiral," he smiled as he greeted her in the corridor. "I was just about to pay you a visit."

"Then looks like I saved you the trouble," Kathryn replied. "How's Chakotay?"

"Very well. And eager to see you."

"What's his condition? I mean, regarding the virus..."

"He's cured," the Doctor gladly informed her. "Dr Moffett's methods were not without risk, and we lost him for several minutes, but the odds of the treatment working were greater than the odds of Chakotay surviving without it."

Kathryn suddenly went very pale and the Doctor put his hand on her shoulder. "Admiral, are you alright?"

"Yes," Kathryn said quietly. "I...I'm fine." She took a deep breath and tried to focus her diverging thoughts. "Dr Moffett...is she still here? I'd like to thank her."

"I'm afraid not, but she will be back tomorrow...just to see how Chakotay is."

"Then I'll thank her tomorrow." She then looked at the Doctor sadly. "I take it you've had a visit from Seven today."

At this, the Doctor averted his eyes. "Yes," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry," Kathryn said gently. "I'm sorry that things...that things didn't turn out as you'd have liked."

"She's doing what she wants to do," the Doctor replied. "And if you really care for someone then..." he bit his holographic lip and looked up at his former captain, feigning indifference. "Besides, I have more than enough female attention to contend with now I'm a celebrity. I can have my choice of women. What man could complain? And I have the affection of a certain attractive lady named Gwen."

"You certainly do," Kathryn said kindly. "But don't settle for second best, Doctor. That isn't fair to her or to yourself." She paused. "When I lost Justin, I never thought I would love that way again. He was everything to me...the first thought on my mind in the morning and the last thought on my mind at night. When he died, it felt like...it felt like I had died too. I felt dead inside. Over time I got to know Mark and we kind of drifted into a relationship, but while I loved him as a friend, I never loved him in the same way I loved Justin. It wasn't until I met Chakotay that I felt all those things again that lovers should. If fate hadn't intervened, and I'd married Mark as I intended too, then I never would have had the chance to love someone that way again, at least not without breaking Mark's heart and all the promises I would have made to him at our wedding." She reached out and put her hand on the Doctor's arm. "Take time to grieve, Doctor, because losing someone you love, whatever the situation, requires nothing less."

The Doctor nodded and then gave a soft smile. "Did anyone ever tell you that you're as wise as you are brave and beautiful?"

Kathryn laughed softly. "I'm sure Neelix has done the honors at least half a dozen times." She then fell serious and looked at the Doctor warmly. "Thank you, Doctor. Not just for everything you've done over the past few weeks, but for everything on Voyager aswell. You've been a true friend."

"As have you," the Doctor said, deeply touched. He then gestured to the door at his left. "The Commander is alone. Stay with him as long as you want, he needs very little medical attention."

"I'm glad to hear it," she smiled. "Good day, Doctor."

"Good day," he replied.

With that he left, and Kathryn made her way into Chakotay's room. When she entered it, she found Chakotay sitting in an armchair before the window. He was wrapped in a navy blue dressing gown and, while he was a little thinner than he had been, he looked well. At the sound of the door opening, Chakotay turned to see who was there, and his eyes lit up when he saw Kathryn.

"Kathryn," he smiled.

Slowly, tentatively, Kathryn walked towards him, tears blurring her vision. "Welcome back," she said quietly.

Chakotay could see that she was struggling not to cry and he opened his arms to her. He would have stood up if he could, but his legs were very weak. Trembling, Kathryn sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around him as he wrapped his around her.

"Oh Chakotay," she wept. "I thought I'd lost you...I couldn't bear it."

Chakotay lay his head against hers and kissed her auburn hair. "It will take more than a Cardassian virus to beat this old Maquis warrior."

Kathryn had to smile at that and held him tighter. "I love you so much."

"I love you," he whispered. "And I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to go through all this." She had lost so much weight that beneath the blouse she was wearing he could feel her bones.

"Oh Chakotay," she said, drawing away. "You're the one who has been through it all. You've been so ill..."

"But unconscious," he replied. "To me it seems only like yesterday we were at the zoo. You're the one who's had to deal with it all." He gently put his hand to her cheek. "You're so thin, so pale."

A tear escaped her eye. "I've been so scared," she said quietly. "I kept thinking about what you said before the switch-back...about how all of this...us being together...is too good a dream to come true...that so much happiness can never be ours."

"And I was wrong to say that," he said, taking her hand in his. "I was wrong to think it. I just had a feeling deep inside that something was going to happen, that all wasn't going to be well. Tavonka, my people call it...the foreboding." He squeezed her hand. "But I don't feel that anymore. We're going to be happy, Kathryn... you, me and Adriena. It's our time."

Those words triggered a memory, and Kathryn lowered her eyes.

"What is it?" Chakotay asked. "Tell me what you're feeling."

"I saw you," Kathryn began. "Last night. I was at the house, drinking, and suddenly you were there. You told me to stop crying, said everything was going to be ok, that it wasn't your time." She looked up at him. "The Doctor said you died last night, just for a few minutes, and it must have been about the same time. I guess it was only a dream, an hallucination, but it was so real, Chakotay...like you were really there."

"Perhaps I was," Chakotay said quietly. "I have no memory of it, but one thing I do believe is that love is greater than death."

"But how could I see you?" Kathryn asked. "I'm not spiritual, I don't...And yet it was so vivid, so real..."

"Something's just can't be explained. But just because we can't explain them, doesn't mean they're not real. I love you so much, Kathryn, and if there was any way I could comfort you from the next life, I would. " He gently squeezed her hand. "But if the thought of that disturbs you, then think of the experience as only a dream."

"It probably was," Kathryn answered. "I'd been drinking a lot and my mind it was...it was all over the place." She then looked deep into his eyes. "But I'd rather think it was you."

Chakotay tenderly brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face. "Have you been drinking often?"

"No," Kathryn answered. "Last night was the first time. I just...everything got too much. I couldn't take it all anymore...I just wanted to be alone...to forget. It's been so hard, trying to cope with everything, having to pretend to Adriena that there was nothing to worry about. I didn't want to tell her how sick you really were...didn't want to upset her."

"I can understand that. How is she?"

"Good...great. I had to make some decisions while you were unconscious and I hope I made the right ones. I couldn't put off sending her to school any longer, so I selected one in New York that caters for children with special needs. She started two weeks ago and seems to be enjoying it. I also arranged for her to have the first stage of her treatment. Knowing how cruel children can be, I thought it would be better for her to have the cosmetic surgery before she started school. Her leg was operated on at the same time and she's got a little mobility in it now."

"That's great." Chakotay replied. "I can't thank you enough for what you've done. I don't know what would have become of her if it wasn't for you. What you've done...what you are doing...it's incredible."

Kathryn smiled. "All I had to do was love her. And that wasn't difficult because she's a part of you."

Tears filled Chakotay's eyes at that and and he brushed his fingers against her cheek. As he did so, Kathryn took his hand in hers and kissed it.

"Our house is ready," she said. "I've done so much work on it over the past few weeks...it helped to take my mind off things, you know? As soon as you've recovered, and we're ready, we can move in." She paused. "I'd like it all to be perfect. I'd like our first night there to be the beginning of forever."

Chakotay understood her meaning. She didn't want to move in until they were married. "And it will be perfect," he reassured her. "I promise."

Kathryn smiled and entwined her fingers with his. "In the meantime, you can stay with my mother...if you can bear it."

"I think I can just about suffer her," Chakotay teased.

Kathryn laughed softly and then gazed into his eyes. "Of course, as soon as you're up to it, we still have a romantic weekend to enjoy on the Emerald Coast."

"We certainly do," Chakotay smiled. "And I can't wait."

* * *

A little yellow bag over her shoulder, Adriena hobbled into her father's room at the sanatorium along side Kathryn.

"It's me, Daddy," she said as she made her way over to his armchair. "Adriena. I bet you don't recognize me. I don't look like a freak now."

"You look beautiful," Chakotay smiled. "But you always looked beautiful to me."

Adriena smiled at that, then spoke. "I'm glad you're better, Daddy. I've been wanting to see you." She gestured to the gold chain around her neck. "I still have it. I never take it off. Mrs Davison at school wanted me too, but I wouldn't. When she tried to take it, I bit her."

Chakotay glanced at Kathryn and tried not to laugh at the appalled look on her face.

"Adriena," she exclaimed. "I did not know about that. It was a very naughty thing to do."

"I don't care," Adriena said, looking up at her. "I'm not letting anyone take it, ever."

Chakotay spoke. "I don't think you should wear it for school anymore, sweetheart, just for special occasions."

"I like to wear it," she insisted.

Kathryn responded. "I know you do." For weeks she had refused to part with the necklace, even to go to the bath. The only way the doctors had been able to remove it for her operation was to put her to sleep first. "But there really are times when you should take it off."

"That's why I gave you the box," Chakotay improvised, "so you can keep it safe when you're not wearing it."

Adriena considered. "I suppose it would be safe in the box."

"Very safe," Kathryn assured her.

"Then I will," Adriena declared. "I'll keep it there."

"Good decision," Chakotay smiled.

Adriena then balanced herself on one crutch and opened her little yellow bag. As she did so, Chakotay glanced at Kathryn and she winked a 'thankyou' at him. The child's habit of biting people could be dealt with later.

"This is for you, Daddy," Adriena said, handing him a blue plastic tube she had pulled out of her bag. "I made it."

"The tube?" Chakotay teased.

"No," Adriena laughed, "what's inside."

Chakotay opened the tube and pulled out the picture that was rolled up within. He unrolled it carefully and studied the painting.

"It's a picture of our day at the zoo," Adriena said proudly.

"I can see that," Chakotay smiled. "It's wonderful. I especially like the giraffe." He patted his lap. "Come sit with me and tell me what is happening. Every picture tells a story."

Adriena closed the gap between them, put down her crutches, and climbed onto his lap. Chakotay drew her into a comfortable position and then spread out the picture before them. Adriena told him what all the animals were, and what they were doing, and then pointed to a silver blob in the trees. Looking closely, Chakotay could see what looked like faces in the middle of it.

"That's us," Adriena said. "We're watching the animals and eating ice-cream. We're small because the animals are so big." She pointed to each face in turn. "This is me, this is Kathryn, and this is you." She then pointed to a little box beneath the car in which was a gold blob. "And this is Goldby waiting for us at the animal house."

"It's all just as I remember," Chakotay said, deeply moved by the picture. It said more than a million words ever could. "I love it very much."

Adriena looked up at him, her eyes sparkling. "I love you, Daddy."

Tears welled in Chakotay's eyes at those unexpected words. "I love you too," he whispered.

Adriena smiled and then wrapped her arms around his neck. Chakotay responded and they held each other close.

**END OF CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**


	18. Chapter 18

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures**

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

THREE WEEKS LATER

Surrounded by sweet smelling candles, Kathryn lay in a frothy bath that Chakotay had prepared for her and let herself relax in the bubbles. Outside the window, stars filled a black Floridian sky, and Kathryn looked at them as she soaked in her soapy paradise. It was hard to believe that only three months ago, Voyager had been somewhere amongst them, searching for a way home. So much had happened over the past few weeks that life in the Delta Quadrant seemed an eternity ago...and yet, in so many ways, only like yesterday. When they had first got home, she had wondered how she was going to adjust to life back on Earth as Voyager had been a part of her life for so long, but the old saying was true: at the end of every journey a new one begins, and she wouldn't change the journey she was now on for any other.

As soon as she had finished bathing, Kathryn got herself ready for the meal Chakotay was preparing on the balcony. It was the first night of their weekend in the Emerald Coast, and rather than dine amongst strangers in the restaurant, they had decided to dine in private. For so many years they had shared each other with so many people that now they just wanted to be alone. Standing before a long mirror, Kathryn put on a sumptuous gown of blue velvet that fell off her shoulders and kissed her knees. Chakotay had once said he liked her in blue, and tonight she wanted to look as beautiful as she could for him. On her feet she put matching velour high-heels, and then swept up her now shoulder-length hair in a pretty bun. With skill she applied a little make-up, and then completed her appearance with elegant gold jewellery.

* * *

When Kathryn finally left the bathroom, she found Chakotay waiting for her in the bedroom.

"Wow," he said when he saw her. "You look amazing."

Kathryn smiled and gazed at him with the same adoration that was in his eyes. "So do you." He was wearing a smart white shirt over matching pants and on his feet black shoes gleamed.

Stepping forward, he gestured to the balcony. "Your dinner awaits."

Eagerly, Kathryn made her way onto the balcony and gasped at what she saw. Before her was a table beautifully decorated with white cloth, candles and roses. There were all kinds of treats from vintage champagne to chocolate mints and on a little silver tray was a single red rose tied with a white ribbon. Chakotay picked up the rose, got down on one knee before her, and held out the rose to her. Kathryn took the rose and saw that in the middle of the ribbon was a sparkling diamond ring. Chakotay then took her hand in his and spoke.

"I love you so much, Kathryn Martha Janeway. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"

"Yes," Kathryn said, happy tears filling her eyes. "Yes, yes, yes!"

Joyfully, Chakotay got to his feet and they held each other tight.

* * *

When the meal was over, Chakotay took a shower and Kathryn cleared everything away. She moved the candles into the bedroom, closed the glass doors that lead onto the balcony, drew the blind, commanded the computer to play soft music, and swapped her evening gown for a classy blue satin nightdress. Before an old-fashioned dressing-table, she removed all traces of her make up and let her hair fall down over her shoulders. As she did so, the light caught the diamond ring on her finger and she gazed at it while she waited for Chakotay to return. Her fingers were trembling, as was her entire body. It was finally here, the night that she had dreamt of for so long; the night that she and Chakotay were going to make love for the first time. It seemed too good to be true and she could hardly believe it was happening. Several times during the evening she had pinched herself just to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

At last, Chakotay returned, wrapped in a shimmering gold robe. Kathryn got to her feet when she saw him and smiled. "Love the robe."

Chakotay smiled in return. "Love the nightdress." He then closed the gap between them and took Kathryn's hands in his. "You're so beautiful," he said, gazing at her in the soft light.

"Even with more freckles than you've ever seen in your life?" Kathryn teased.

"I love them," he whispered, reaching up to brush his fingers against her cheek. "And I love you."

Before she could say she loved him too, his lips were kissing hers. Then he slipped his arm around her waist, drew her body against his, and moved his lips to her neck, showering her with tender kisses. Kathryn gasped at the sensations he was evoking, and when his hands began to caress her, while his lips continued to kiss her, she began to cry. Chakotay instantly drew away, concern in his kind eyes.

"Kathryn?"

"Don't stop," she whispered. "I just...I've loved you for so long... to finally be this close..."

"I know," Chakotay said, drawing her into an embrace. "I feel the same."

Kathryn lay her head against his broad chest and they held each other a long while. Then, in the golden glow of candle-light, their lips met again and they began to make sweet and tender love.

* * *

A MONTH LATER

In the hall of a magnificent ancient Irish castle, Kathryn and Chakotay stood before a gathering of family and friends and promised themselves to each other in marriage. Kathryn looked stunning in a gorgeous Victorian style gown, and Chakotay was handsomely turned out in a black suit of the same period. Standing behind them, needing only one crutch now, was their very proud bridesmaid, Adriena. Naomi was also a bridesmaid, and the two little girls were wearing matching gowns of yellow satin.

From the crowd, Gretchen shed a tear as the registrar, who was a pretty young woman with long dark hair and blue eyes, pronounced Voyager's former captain and first officer to be husband and wife. As the crowd cheered, Kathryn wrapped her arms around Chakotay's neck and they sealed their union with a kiss.

* * *

Taking a respite from dancing, Kathryn sat down on a white-velvet bridal chair and watched as Chakotay danced with Adriena. He held his daughter in his arms and the child laughed heartedly as they span across the dance-floor. Father and daughter had bonded well and Adriena had come on in leaps and bounds over the past few weeks. She was nothing like the lost frightened soul she had been when Seska's sister had abandoned her.

"A glass of wine?"

The voice was B'Elanna's.

"No, thankyou," Kathryn replied. "No more wine for me. But I think I will have another glass of that delectable strawberry fruit juice. Have you ever tasted anything so delicious? Well, next to coffee."

B'Elanna laughed. "I can't say I've tried it...the strawberry juice that is, not the coffee."

"Then you simply must."

B'Elanna picked up the jug of strawberry juice. "Shall I pour us both a glass?"

"Please..."

B'Elanna filled two empty glasses with the juice and then handed one to Kathryn, speaking as she did. "I'm so glad that you and Chakotay have finally tied the knot. He's been crazy about you for years. I don't know what the hell he was thinking of in dating Seven. I mean...Seven?" She bit her lip. "I'm sorry, damn my Klingon insensitivity!"

"It's ok," Kathryn smiled. "I'm not the jealous type." That wasn't exactly true, as there were times when she had seethed with envy to see Chakotay pay too much attention to an attractive unattached woman during the Voyager years, but it was certainly true in this case.

"I was," B'Elanna continued, "I mean, about Chakotay before I had Tom. I used to have such a big crush on him."

"You did?"

"Oh yes, and if thoughts could metamorphosize, you'd have see a green-eyed monster instead of me in engineering. I knew it was you he loved and I was madly jealous."

Kathryn laughed softly. "I would never have guessed, you hid it well."

"Just don't tell him," B'Elanna went on. "I'd die of embarrassment. Or Tom. Especially Tom. I'd hate to awaken a dead feud."

"Don't worry," Kathryn smiled. "Your secret's safe with me."

"But seriously," B'Elanna continued. "I'm so glad you're married. When we were on Voyager, I used to tell Tom all the time that we had to do something... that we had to try and get you both to admit how you felt. But Tom said it was none of our business and we couldn't interfere. But I just wanted to knock your heads together. You both being apart, it seemed...it seemed such a waste of love."

"And it was," Kathryn said quietly. "But there was no way we could be together on Voyager. I had so many duties, obligations and responsibilities. A relationship with my First Officer was out of the question." She paused. "But as Shakespeare once said, the course of true love never did run smooth. I'd rather have had the rough ride we did and have true love as the reward, than a smooth sailing with only luke-warm affection at the end."

B'Elanna raised up her glass. "I'll drink to that."

Kathryn tapped her glass against B'Elanna's and then took a sip of juice.

"So," B'Elanna asked, "now you're married, is Chakotay going to take your surname?"

"Well," Kathryn teased. "It would be kind of hard for me to take his." She then sobered. "Yes...informally at least. When we go somewhere, like for dinner or vacation, we want to be Mr and Mrs, not Admiral and Commander."

"Same with Tom and I." B'Elanna then gestured to the glass in her hand. "You're right, this juice is good." As she took another mouthful, Adriena approached, having finished dancing with her father. B'Elanna smiled at the child. "You looked like you were having a great time up there."

"I was," Adriena replied happily. "We danced fast... real fast."

"You certainly did," Kathryn smiled. "I thought you were going to sprout wings and fly."

Adriena laughed and then climbed onto Kathryn's lap. "I like this wedding thing. Can we do it again?"

B'Elanna couldn't help but laugh at that and got to her feet. "I'll leave you to answer that one, Kathryn."

Now that B'Elanna was no longer in Starfleet, she and Kathryn were on a first name basis.

"I hope I'll see you again before the party's over," Kathryn said.

"You can count on it," B'Elanna smiled.

As the half-Klingon left, Adriena looked up at Kathryn. "Well, can we do it again, Kathryn?"

"I hope not," Kathryn replied, tapping the child's nose. "I hope I only ever have to marry your father once."

Adriena considered. "But wasn't the marriage in the other hall? What I mean is what we're having now...the dancing."

"Ah," Kathryn said, finally understanding. "You mean a party." She smiled. "Yes, I'm sure we can have another party in the future. It might not be as grand as this one, but there will certainly be music and dancing."

Adriena smiled and then lay her little head against Kathryn's shoulder. It was gone 9pm and she was starting to tire.

"Kathryn?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Now that you are Daddy's wife, and I'm to be called Adriena Janeway, does that mean you're my mommy?"

"Your step-mommy," Kathryn explained.

"Does that mean I can call you mommy? Sally in school has a daddy who has a wife who's not her mommy, but she calls her mommy."

Kathryn kissed Adriena's silky hair. "Would you like to call me mommy?"

Adriena nodded.

"Then I'd be very happy for you to do so," Kathryn smiled, her eyes moist.

* * *

Lying in a four poster bed, in a luxurious log-cabin high in the Austrian alps, Kathryn sighed happily as she thought back over what had truly been the happiest day of her life. It was snowing a blizzard outside, but inside a roaring fire in a stone hearth filled the bedroom with a cozy copper glow. Gold satin drapes hung around the bed, adding to the romantic mood, and matched the satin covers on the large bed. Suddenly, the covers ruffled and Chakotay's face looked down at her. His eyes were sparkling and there was so much love in them that she caught her breath.

"Happy?" he asked, taking her hand in his.

"Happier than I ever remember being in my entire life," she smiled, the gold ring on her finger touching the ring on his. "I wish I could freeze this moment in time...wish I could feel like I do now forever."

"Me too," Chakotay said sincerely. "All my life I've been an outsider...always searching, but never finding, a place to belong. No matter where I went, or who I was with, there was always an emptiness inside, an ache that would never go away." He kissed her hand. "But my soul isn't searching anymore and my heart isn't aching. I've found where I belong and I've finally found true peace."

A tear ran down Kathryn's cheek and she reached up to touch his tattoo. "I love you so much...husband."

Chakotay smiled and traced the course of her tear. "I love you so much...wife."

They laughed softly and then kissed tenderly.

* * *

TWO WEEKS LATER

The honeymoon over, Kathryn and her new family finally moved into their house at Lake George. Adriena had never seen the house before, as Kathryn had wanted it to be a surprise, and the child was overwhelmed by the size and the luxury. As the house was a log-home, Kathryn had furnished it in warm autumn colors, and had opted for a classic, rather than a modern, look.

"This is really our house?" Adriena asked, standing in the middle of the ornate living room. "We're really going to live here?"

"Absolutely," Kathryn smiled. "I take it you like it?"

"I love it, Mommy! It's the biggest house I've ever seen...even bigger than Grandma Gretchen's!"

Chakotay went over to his daughter and lifted her into his arms. "Want to see your room?"

"I do, Daddy," she said. "I do, I do..."

Chakotay kissed her with a smile. "Then new room here we come."

He carried her into the hallway and Kathryn followed, the dogs at her heels. When they entered Adriena's new bedroom, the child's jaw dropped in amazement. Not only was there an abundance of toys and books, but the walls were a pretty lemon and the carpet a rose pink.

"There's a bathroom just for you in here," Kathryn said, walking over to a pink door. She pressed a button and the door opened. Chakotay put the child down and, with the help of her crutch, Adriena walked over to the bathroom. Inside was a bath in the shape of a yellow duck and Adriena clapped her hands, laughing from sheer delight.

* * *

Later that evening, when Adriena was asleep, Chakotay brought Kathryn a vintage bottle of champagne on a silver tray with two crystal glasses. She was sitting by the living-room window, looking out at Lake George in the moonlight.

"Let's make a toast," Chakotay said, putting the tray down on a table. "To our first night in our first home."

Kathryn turned around, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Make that bottle synthesol and I'll toast away."

Chakotay frowned. "Synthesol?"

Kathryn got to her feet. "There's a tiny someone I have to consider."

At those words, Chakotay's eyes lit up with infinite joy. "You mean?"

Kathryn nodded. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh Kathryn," Chakotay said, scooping her in his arms. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely," Kathryn smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I didn't think I could...but I definitely am...and I'm so happy, Chakotay..."

Chakotay tearfully kissed her hair and held her tighter. "Me too, Kathryn...Me too."

They held each other for a while, then Chakotay went to exchange the bottle of champagne for synthesol.

When he returned, he sat down beside her, opened the bottle, and they laughed as a rocket of bubbles shot into the air and rained down upon them. Chakotay then filled the two glittering glasses and they took one each.

"To the Janeway family," he said, holding up his glass. "To our new home, new beginnings, and to the first night of forever."

Kathryn raised up her glass to his and they sealed their toast with a kiss.

END OF CHAPTER EIGHTEEN


	19. Chapter 19

**_Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures_**

**CHAPTER 19**

**TWO MONTHS LATER**

A scorching sun beat down from a summer sky as Kathryn, Chakotay and Adriena made their way through dry woodland to Chakotay's tribal settlement. Kathryn had acquired a dormer shuttle for their long-awaited trip to Trebus, and they had landed it in the outskirts of a surrounding forest so they would not alarm the natives. It was a good twenty minutes walk to the settlement, and Chakotay carried Adriena in piggy-back. The child could walk without a crutch now, but her leg still had a limp and tired easily. Chakotay was wearing a white shirt over brown pants, clothes familiar to his tribe, and Adriena was wearing a fawn dress in Native-American style. Kathryn had also dressed for the occasion, wearing a free flowing brown dress.

"It's a good job I put sun cream on," Kathryn said as they walked. "Otherwise I'd look like a speckled egg tonight."

Chakotay laughed softly and Adriena questioned. "What does speckled mean?"

"It means something that has a lot of freckles on it," Kathryn explained.

"Ah," Adriena said. Then she laughed as the joke sank in. "But I like your freckles, Mommy. I wish I had freckles."

Distant noise came to their attention, and Chakotay stopped walking. "We're almost there."

Kathryn turned to look at him and saw that, despite his best efforts to hide it, he was battling a myriad of emotions.

"I can't wait to meet Aunt Sekaya," Adriena said. "I'm glad you say she's not like Aunt Varlina."

Chakotay began to walk again, and Kathryn followed, letting him set the pace. At last the trees cleared, and they came to a large opening, in which were several wooden huts and many wigwams. A number of men and women were outside, attending to a variety of tasks, and they stopped working when they saw visitors arrive. To their left, an old man, with long grey hair that flowed over a tan tunic, approached them.

"Chakotay!" he cried happily. "Son of Kolopak! You have returned!"

Chakotay lowered Adriena to the ground and embraced the man warmly. "Tarkony," he said. "It's good to see you...so good."

Other members of the tribe approached now, all genuinely delighted to see Chakotay, and he greeted each one. Then, as soon as he had the chance, he introduced Kathryn and Adriena.

"This is my wife, Kathryn," he said, gesturing to her. "And this is my daughter, Adriena."

The old man smiled at them. "I know I speak for us all when I say you are both welcome...very welcome." He then addressed two middle-aged women. "Datanka and Jayla, prepare a feast! We will celebrate this happy event and thank the Great Spirit."

Suddenly, a female voice called out. "Chakotay!"

Chakotay looked up, recognizing the voice right away. "Sekaya!"

Before he knew it, his sister was embracing him. "Oh Chakotay," she wept, "my brother. You're back...You're back..."

Chakotay returned her embrace and they held each other close.

"I'm sorry," Chakotay said. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to..."

"No...don't," Sekaya interrupted him. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have blamed you...wasn't your fault...any of it...nothing you could have done."

They held each other a while, weeping, then Sekaya drew away. "Our mother, Chakotay, she's alive. I found her...some months ago...with another tribe."

Chakotay could say nothing. His mother alive? It sounded too good to be true...

"She has been ill, but is now getting well, and is inside resting."

An old-woman, who had newly approached the crowd after being given word that Chakotay had returned, spoke. "No. I am here."

Slowly, as though in a dream, Chakotay turned in the woman's direction. While the old woman looked very little like the mother he had last seen on this planet over a decade ago, there was no doubt that she was his mother.

The old woman smiled, tears in her kind black eyes. "Welcome home, son."

All Chakotay could do was draw her close, and Kathryn watched, tears in her own eyes, as mother and son embraced.

* * *

Beneath a sky full of stars, Kathryn sat with Chakotay and his mother before a large crackling fire. In the few hours that they had been with the tribe, Adriena had become friendly with a little girl and her brother, and had asked to be allowed to sleep with them in their wigwam, rather than in the shuttle as planned. When she had been told that she could, she had clapped her hands in excitement, and her face had been a joy to behold as she went, her teddy firmly under her arm, into the wigwam with her new friends.

"I'm sorry you cannot stay longer than ten moon's," Enola said. "But it is important Adriena not lose her schooling."

"We will come again in a few months," Kathryn replied, eating a potato that had just been roasted on the fire. "It will be Christmas on Earth, and Adriena will have a month off school."

Enola smiled. "I look forward already."

"There is also something else to look forward to," Chakotay began. "Kathryn and I are having a baby."

At those words, Enola's eyes lit up and she embraced him. "Oh my son!" she exclaimed, kissing his cheek."The gods have been good to us!" She then embraced and kissed Kathryn. "My daughter, you are much blessed."

"We haven't told Adriena yet," Chakotay went on, "her counsellor feels we should wait a few more weeks, given all the changes that have happened in her life over the past few months."

"I will tell only Sekaya," Enola smiled, "and give silent thanks to the great one."

"If we have a boy," Kathryn told her, "we're going to call him Zakory Tamrin. If a girl, Rennay Marla." Those were the names of Chakotay's younger siblings who were killed by the Cardassians.

"You honour our family in their choice of names," Enola said, her eyes moist, "my heart is touched." She then reached out and put her hand on Chakotay's arm. "But before a name of a loved one is bestowed on another, that name must be remembered only with love. The needless guilt you feel at their fate mars that love with pain. A name that does not share that pain would better honour our little one enwombed."

"I can't help but feel that guilt," Chakotay said, looking away. "I should have been here."

"To what purpose?" his mother asked. "To be killed by the Cardassians too? Hundred's fell, my son...men just as brave as you, just as strong. We could not defend ourselves and fighting did more harm than it did good. If you had been here then, you might not be here now...and neither would little Adriena or our young one yet to see the sun."

"You're right," Chakotay conceded, "I know you are, and yet...and yet I feel I could have done something...maybe not much, but something..."

"Nothing, Chakotay. You could not have stopped the attack, could not have stopped the killings, or stopped them taking our Marla with them."

Chakotay flinched. "What do you mean they took her?" He had always believed she had been killed in the attack.

"I thought you knew," Enola said, surprised. "They took her, and many other women who pleased their eye, to use on their ships in a way I like not to think on."

The blood drained out of Chakotay's face and Kathryn put her hand on his arm, a small gesture of comfort.

"But she is now with our loved ones that have passed," Enola said. "We must take comfort in that."

Chakotay clenched his fist, anger stirring. "Damn them!" he cried. "If I'd have known, I'd have gone to find her..."

"Then it is a good thing you did not know," his mother replied. "Such a venture would have been your death."

Suddenly, Sekaya approached. "Come dance with me, brother."

"Not now," Chakotay replied, his anger making his tone sharper than he intended.

"Why not?" Sekaya asked. "Come on... hear the beat, feel the rhythm."

"I'll dance with you," Kathryn offered, for Chakotay's sake, "but you'll have to teach me."

Sekaya smiled. "Gladly, sister." She held out her hands. "Come, I will show you..."

Kathryn took Sekaya's hands and the pretty woman, who bore more than a passing resemblance to Chakotay, drew her to where a small group of people were dancing to the rhythm of a drum.

When they were gone, Chakotay spoke. "Do you know for certain what became of Marla?"

"I do not," Enola said sadly, "but I believe she has been with our loved ones for a very long time." She took her son's hand in hers. "Our Marla is at peace, as is your father and all we have lost. Let knowledge of their peace heal your heart."

* * *

Stirring sleepily in her bed, Kathryn snuggled up to Chakotay, only to find an empty space beside her. Slowly, she sat up and saw that the bedroom doors were open, letting in soft light. Chakotay was a sound sleeper and never got up in the night, so, for him to be up now, something had to be wrong. Concerned, Kathryn got out of bed, put on her robe, and made her way into the room beyond. The shuttle was the largest of its kind, so the living quarters were very spacious. When she arrived in the room, she found Chakotay sitting by a table, a mug of hot chocolate before him.

"Trouble sleeping?"

At the sound of Kathryn's voice, Chakotay looked up. "I'm sorry, did I disturb you?"

"No," Kathryn said, walking over to the table. "It's just not like you to get up in the night. I'm the restless one." She sat opposite him. "You haven't been yourself all night. Tell me what's wrong."

"It's Marla," he said quietly. "I can't stop thinking about her. I had no idea she'd been taken by the Cardassians. I always thought she'd died with the others." Tears filled his eyes. "I can't assume like my mother does that she's dead. I need to know...I need to find out what happened to her. For all we know, she could be rotting in some Cardassian prison or being used and abused as a slave or captive." He paused. "I have to find out what happened to her...have to know for sure if she's dead or alive."

Kathryn took Chakotay's hand in hers. "It's been almost ten years, Chakotay. There's no way she's still alive. All you can do for her is remember her with love...to remember who she was when she was alive, not the way she died. She would want nothing less."

"I can't," Chakotay said, letting go of her hand. "I can't do that. When we were stranded in the Delta Quadrant, everyone gave up on us. They just assumed we were dead, and got on with their lives, when the whole time we were just out of their reach. I can't do the same to Marla. I can't just assume she's dead, and get on with my life, when she might be out there somewhere in need of my help. I have to know for sure, I have to find out."

"Then I'll make some unofficial enquiries when we get home. I'm in Starfleet Command now, I have influence..."

"And all Cardassian officials will do is deny any knowledge. I know them. I know what they're like."

Kathryn sat back in her chair, hardly daring to ask the question. "Then just what are you thinking of doing?"

Chakotay hesistated in giving his answer. "Of flying to Cardassian space and doing what I can to find out what happened to her."

For a moment, Kathryn stared at him in utter disbelief. Then she got to her feet. "Are you crazy? The war may be over, but the Cardassians are still the Cardassians, and you're an ex-Maquis! To go to their space is a suicide mission!"

"I know the risks," Chakotay replied, also getting to his feet. "But as well as the danger, there's a chance they won't antagonize the Federation by killing me. I have to do this, whatever the outcome. I have to know for certain that Marla isn't alive, even if it means my death."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this," Kathryn said, turning away from him. "It's insane...total madness!"

"Maybe it is," Chakotay answered. "But you'd do the same, Kathryn, if it was your sister or someone else you loved. And you can't tell me you wouldn't, because I know that you would."

Kathryn buried her head in her hands. He was right, and he knew he was right.

"The last thing I want is leave you and Adriena," he continued, "but I have to do this. I can't live with myself if I don't try and find out what happened to her."

Slowly, Kathryn turned to him. "Then we'll go together. There's no way I'm letting you do this alone."

Chakotay stepped forward and put his hands on her shoulders. "And there's no way I'm letting you put yourself at risk."

"It's my life to risk. You can't do this alone. How can you even think it? Be reasonable, Chakotay..."

"I am. Risking our own lives is one thing, but we can't risk the baby's."

Kathryn paled at that and averted her eyes. In her concern for Chakotay, she had completely forgotten she was pregnant.

"I have to do this, Kathryn," Chakotay said gently. "And I have to do it alone. In your heart you know that."

Kathryn looked up at him as a tear ran down her cheek. "I just don't want to lose you. The thought of my life without you in it...it's...unbearable."

"I'll survive," he said firmly. "We have to believe that." Tenderly, he reached out and touched her face. "Please, give me your blessing."

For a long moment, Kathryn did nothing, but there was so much desperate longing in his eyes, that she could not refuse him. With all her strength, she put her hand over his, kissed his palm, and forced the words out of her throat. "You have it," she whispered.

Chakotay drew her close and they held each other tearfully.

"I'll take our spare shuttle and leave tomorrow," he said after a while. "The sooner I go, the less painful it will be."

"No," Kathryn said, squeezing him tight. "Not tomorrow. Adriena's so looking forward to our ride on the river, and I..I couldn't bear it if you went so soon. Let us have one more day together...please."

Chakotay nodded and kissed her hair. "One more day."

* * *

"I had hoped this folly would pass," Enola said to Chakotay as they sat together around the communal fire the following evening. "Why will you not see reason?"

"Because there's a chance Marla's still alive," Chakotay replied. "I can't go back to earth and continue with my life knowing she might be out there somewhere suffering. I have to do my best to find out what happened to her."

"If, by a miracle, our Marla is alive," his mother answered, "let the gods take care of her. They have the power we lack."

"I don't believe that. We have the power if we have the will..."

"You were ever a contrary, but be agreeable now. See with your head, not with your heart. No good can come of this venture."

Chakotay was about to reply, when Darkin, a tall, well-built, man with thick black hair resting on his shoulders, approached.

"I hear you're going in search of Marla," the man said.

"That's right," Chakotay replied. "I have to find out what happened to her."

Darkin sat beside him. "I will come with you."

There was no doubt in Chakotay's mind that Darkin would be a valuable companion...he had, like him, once been a Starfleet officer and a Maquis warrior...but Chakotay did not want to put any more lives at risk that he had too. "I appreciate the offer," he said sincerely, "but I could not ask you to risk your life."

"You're not asking," Darkin replied. "I'm offering. You forget that my brother was Marla's husband. In that way, she was my sister too. I was not here to save my brother, but if there is anything I can do to help Marla, I will gladly do it." He paused, and Chakotay saw in the man's eyes the same pain that had so often tortured his soul. "I need to do this," Darkin continued. "I failed my family when I went to Starfleet, and I failed to avenge their deaths as a Maquis. I won't fail you and Marla now. If you think there's a chance she's still alive, I will gladly sacrifice my life in the attempt of saving hers."

Moved at his words, Chakotay held out his hand. "Then it will be a privilege to have you onboard."

The man smiled, took Chakotay's hand, and shook it.

Enola watched them in dismay. "The efforts of two often proves better than one," she said quietly, "but in some cases it only doubles the folly." Slowly, she got to her feet. "May the gods bless your dreams with wisdom, and change your hearts to follow another course."

With that, she walked away.

"I planned on leaving tomorrow at noon," Chakotay said, paying no heed to his mother's words. "But if you need time to prepare, we can leave when you're ready."

"With my family gone," Darkin replied, "my time is my own. Tomorrow will be fine."

"Then we'll leave tomorrow," Chakotay confirmed. He then got to his feet. "I'll go and tell Kathryn. She'll be glad to know I'll have company."

Darkin rose too. "How is she taking it all?"

"Bravely," Chakotay answered. "She understands that I have to do this."

"And we'll succeed," Darkin said. "The Cardassians won't destroy us. We'll find out what happened to Marla. And, if she's alive, we'll bring her home."

* * *

When Chakotay arrived at the shuttle, he found Kathryn in their bedroom. She was standing by the bed, looking a little anxious, and her eyes were red.

"I was just about to take a bath," she said. "I'm so sweaty after our trip today."

Chakotay closed the gap between them and put his hand on her shoulder. "You've been crying, haven't you?"

"No," she said, looking down. "My eyes are just sore...must be the hot air."

"It's ok," he said kindly. "You don't have to pretend with me. This is hurting me too."

At that, Kathryn looked up at him. "We've only just begun our lives together," she said sadly. "And we have so much to look forward too. But every time we think we have a future, something happens to take it away from us. It's like you said...too much happiness."

Chakotay took her hands in his. "We've been through so much together, Kathryn. And we'll get through this. It doesn't matter where I am, I'm always with you in my heart. We'll be together again, I just know that we will be."

"You're going alone into Cardassian space, Chakotay," she reminded him. "There's a chance that, after tomorrow, I'll never see you again...that our child will never meet his or her father."

Chakotay squeezed her hands. "We have to believe we'll be together again. I've learnt from you that faith really can move mountains, that it can do the impossible." He paused. "And I won't be alone. Darkin, my sister's brother-in-law who was once in the Maquis, is coming with me."

A glint of light shone in Kathryn's dull eyes at that. "He is?"

Chakotay nodded. "And he'll be a valuable companion. He knows Cardassian space well."

Kathryn stepped closer and lay her head on his chest. "I'm glad you won't be alone, but I'm going to miss you so much."

Chakotay gently wrapped his arms around her. "I'm going to miss you too."

* * *

When Kathryn left the bathroom after a much needed soak in the tub, she found a pretty beige Native American style dress waiting for her on the bed, and a pair of tan sandals on the floor. Chakotay clearly intended for her to wear them, so she took off her robe, put on her underwear, and then put on the dress and sandals. Both items were a perfect fit and felt very comfortable. When she had brushed her hair, she left their bedroom and made her way into the living room. When she arrived there, Chakotay was waiting for her. He had changed into a clean set of cothes and there was a large picnic basket resting before him on a silver table.

"You look good," he smiled. He then gestured to the basket. "I've made us a picnic. There's somewhere special I'd like to take you."

Kathryn gave a wan smile. "Then I'm all yours."

* * *

Chakotay lead Kathryn through the thick forest to a stream, and then lead her up the stream until they reached a secluded waterfall. Silver water gushed down black rocks and glistened gold in the setting sun.

"Oh Chakotay," Kathryn said, looking around in awe. "It's so beautiful here."

"We call this place Vatoona," Chakotay explained. "Love's paradise. When a man and a woman have committed their lives to each other, they come here and perform an ancient ritual to bless their lives together." He turned to her. "I'd like to share that ritual with you."

"And I'd love you to share it," Kathryn replied. "What is it?"

Chakotay put the picnic basket down on the ground, opened it, and pulled out a small brown bag. "In here are seeds of Wild Columbine. To my people they are a symbol of love, and when a man has committed his life to a woman, he crushes up the seeds and then rubs them on his hands and those of the woman he loves. Afterwards, they wash and dry their hands together."

"Very romantic," Kathryn smiled. "Let's do it now."

Chakotay pulled out a white towel from the basket and then knelt at the water's edge. Kathryn joined him, and he opened the bag of seeds. He then put the bag down on the ground, dipped his hands into it, and rubbed the seeds all over his skin. When his hands were covered, he reached for Kathryn's hands and gently rubbed the powder over them, his fingers caressing hers. As they performed the age-old ritual, they gazed into each other's eyes, aware of nothing but each other. Then, when the rubbing was complete, they washed each other's hands in the stream and dried them gently with the towel. Chakotay then took Kathryn's hands in his.

"Great Spirit," he said, looking up at the copper sky, "be with my beloved in this trying time that is to come. Guard her, guide her, and fill her heart with peace. Be with our baby, our hanara, and let only happiness fill his or her days. Be with our Adriena, and help love heal the wounds of her past. Be also with my mother and sister, and give them strength of body and mind. Be with them all, Great Spirit, and bless them."

His prayer finished, he looked back at Kathryn and let go of her hands. "Shall we eat?"

Kathryn nodded.

"I figured you'd had enough traditional food for one day," he said, reaching into the basket, "so I've replicated us a caesar salad and some cheese and tomato sandwiches."

As he removed a white cloth from the basket and laid it on the ground behind then, Kathryn questioned. "When you prayed for our baby just now, what does hanara mean?"

"It means 'little miracle" in our ancient language," Chakotay explained.

"I see," Kathryn replied. "I've been thinking, Chakotay...about what your mother said last night...about our baby's name. I think she's right, that we should choose another."

Chakotay stopped what he was doing and turned back to her. "So do I. Someday I hope I can remember my brothers and sisters without any pain, but at the moment the wound of their loss is too deep."

Kathryn gazed into his eyes. "What do you think of Hanara? There's no doubt that our child is a miracle, and the name would suit a boy or a girl."

Chakotay smiled. "I think it would be perfect."

Kathryn smiled in return, took his hand, and gently placed it over her womb. "Then, our little one, we here name you Hanara."

Gently, Chakotay put his other hand to Kathryn's cheek. "I'll be home for the birth, Kathryn. Whatever I have to do, I'll be home."

At that, a tear escaped Kathryn's eye and fell onto his skin. "Just come home," she whispered. "Just come home."

* * *

By noon the following day, Chakotay and Darkin were ready to leave. Kathryn had insisted on them taking the dormer shuttle, which was far more suitable for battle than their spare safety shuttle, and a crowd of people had gathered outside it as the two men said their goodbyes.

"We will dance for your return," Enola said tearfully as she embraced her son. "But I wish you would not go. It is not wise."

"I have Kathryn's blessing," Chakotay said as he drew away, "and Sekaya's. Please give me yours."

"I cannot, my son," she answered. "Some blessings are only a curse." She paused. "But I pray that the gods will be with you."

They were not the words that Chakotay had hoped to hear, but he could not force her blessing. Reluctantly, he looked away from his mother and turned to Adriena, who was looking at him with sad brown eyes. He knelt before his daughter and brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face. "It may be a long time before we see each other again, sweetheart," he said softly, "but I'll be thinking of you every day."

A tear ran down Adriena's cheek and she wrapped her arms around his neck. "Don't be gone too long, Daddy. I'll miss you."

Chakotay held her in return and kissed her hair. "I'll miss you too, sweetheart...so very much."

When they finally let go of each other, Chakotay got to his feet and turned to Kathryn. Her face was pale and taut and he could tell she was struggling not to cry. As he looked at her, he could think of a million reasons to stay, but he had to be strong, he had to find the courage to leave. Slowly, Kathryn stepped forward and embraced him. "I love you so much," she whispered. "And I'm so proud of you."

Chakotay wrapped his arms around her and held her tighter than he had ever held her. "I love you too," he whispered.

They held each other a long time, neither wanting to be the first to let go, but in the end Chakotay drew away. Gazing into his wife's eyes, he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her tenderly. Then, without a word, he turned away and began to walk towards the shuttle.

When he and Darkin were inside, they stood in the doorway and waved their last goodbye. Then, Chakotay pressed a button and the shuttle's silver doors began to close. As they shut, Kathryn felt her heart break in agonizing pieces, but she refused to give in to either pain or despair. She would see Chakotay again, she had to hold to that thought, had to believe it.

All too quickly, the shuttle doors closed, and the crowd watched through blurred vision as the ship lifted off the ground and disappeared into a sunny sky.

**END OF CHAPTER NINETEEN**


	20. Chapter 20

**_Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures_**

NOTE REGARDING THIS CHAPTER: Just want to give reassurance that I never write stories that don't have a happy J/C ending :) Between the beginning and the end, however, the course of true-love will rarely run smooth :) Well, it would make a boring story, wouldn't it? ;)

CHAPTER 20

6 WEEKS LATER

"Shouldn't take long at all to convert this room into a nursery," Phoebe said to Kathryn as she looked around a spare guestroom her sister had chosen for the baby. The room currently held no more than a double bed, a fitted wardrobe, and a rocking chair, and was very simply decorated with white walls and gold curtains that matched the carpet. "All you need are some nursery transfers for the walls, a kiddie's blind, and the usual baby things. If you want, I can take care of it all. Shouldn't take me longer than a few hours to do it. I have a day off on Friday, I can do it then."

"That would be wonderful," Kathryn said gratefully. "I hate fiddling with those transfer things and I totally lack your sense of color. But are you sure?"

"Absolutely," she answered. "I'd love too. You know me, a plain room is like a canvas begging for an artist."

Kathryn laughed softly. "Then you've got yourself a job."

* * *

Sitting on a large bean-bag before a simulated fire, Adriena brushed Blackie's curly coat while Goldby slept at her feet. It was raining hard outside and the evening sky was a miserable gray.

"I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow," Adriena said as Kathryn entered the living room with a chocolate nutri-shake for them both. "Grandma Gretchen is taking me to the park."

"Rain isn't forecast for Bloomington," Kathryn answered, placing the drinks down on a table. "In fact, it promises to be sunny." She sat down and watched as Adriena brushed the dog's fur. The child was very attentive to her pets, and even though she had made a couple of good friends at school, the animals were still her best friends. "When you've finished brushing Blackie," Kathryn continued, "I've got something very important to tell you."

She was now over four months pregnant and could no longer defer telling her step-daughter.

"I've finished now," Adriena said, putting down her doggie brush. "I've done him all over."

Leaving Blackie on the bean-bag, the child got up and made her way over to Kathryn. As she sat down, she picked up her nutri-shake and popped the straw into her mouth.

"In a few months time," Kathryn began, "we're going to have a little addition to our family."

Adriena looked up at her, eyes hopeful. "A new dog?"

"No, darling," Kathryn smiled. "I'm having a baby... a little brother or a little sister for you."

At that, the brightness in Adriena's eyes faded and she scrunched her nose. "I don't want one."

The child's counselor had said she could react this way, that the arrival of a new baby into the family could threaten her new-found sense of security, so Kathryn proceeded cautiously.

"Why not, darling?"

"Because I hate babies."

"You like Miral," Kathryn gently reminded her.

"No I don't," Adriena cried, getting to her feet. "I hate her!"

"I don't believe that," Kathryn said calmly.

"It's true," Adriena yelled. "I hate her! I hate all babies, all of them! If you have a baby, I'll run away. I will! And I'll take Blackie and Goldby. I mean it, I will!"

"Sit down," Kathryn said firmly, but kindly. "This baby won't change anything between..."

"You'll never see me again," Adriena interrupted. "I mean it!"

Then, defiantly, the child threw the glass in her hands to the floor.

"Adriena!" Kathryn exclaimed.

But her cry fell on deaf ears. Angrily, Adriena picked up Kathryn's drink and threw it to the floor also, followed by a crystal vase that rested on the table, followed by an ornamental cat, followed by two place-mats.

"Adriena," Kathryn cried again. "Stop this! Stop it at once!"

The child looked up at Kathryn, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Wherever this baby is, I hope it dies! I hate it, I hate it!"

With that, she stormed out of the room, leaving Kathryn behind with the sting of tears in her eyes.

* * *

When Adriena had not emerged from her room by her bedtime, Kathryn went to find her. Not wanting to barge into the child's private haven, she knocked the door, but only silence answered her. When she received no reply a second time, she opened the door and tentatively stepped into the room. The light was blazing, but there was no sign of Adriena. Thinking the child might be in the bathroom, Kathryn went to look, but found the room empty. The child had to be hiding again, and Kathryn walked over to the only wardrobe in the room, thinking she could be inside. However, the wardrobe was empty. After closing the doors, Kathryn looked around the bedroom. There were not many places to hide, in fact only under the bed, and a quick look under it told her Adriena was not there.

"Computer," Kathryn said, "locate Adriena."

Instantly, the computer answered. "Adriena is not within."

Anxiety consuming her, Kathryn hurried out of the room and into the study. There was a work-station there, and from it she could perform long distance scans. As quickly as she could, she scanned the local area, and felt a surge of relief when the program located Adriena's lifesign by the lakeside. It would only take a couple of minutes to reach her. While the program shut down, Kathryn grabbed a tricorder, powered it up, and then hurried after the child.

* * *

In less than five minutes, Kathryn was by the lakeside. It was still raining hard and in the dark visibility was poor, but the tricorder faithfully led her to Adriena. The child was sitting under a tree, soaked to the skin, and was sobbing miserably.

"Adriena," Kathryn said, her relief at finding the child evident in her voice. "What on earth are you doing out here?"

Adriena looked up at her, tears mingling with rain. "I'm running away."

"I see," Kathryn answered. "And just where are you planning to go?"

The child made no reply, just averted her eyes.

"I have a better idea," Kathryn said, stepping closer. "Come home with me."

Adriena shook her head. "Not if you have a baby."

Slowly, Kathryn knelt beside the child. "You'll freeze if you stay out here all night."

"I don't care."

Gently, Kathryn reached out and put her hand on the little girl's shoulder. "I know you don't really want to run away. You're just afraid, aren't you? You're afraid I'll love the baby more than you."

At that, Adriena looked up at her and a tear ran down her cheek. "I know you will. And you'll send me away... won't want me anymore."

"That's not true," Kathryn reassured her. "I will always love you...just as much as your little brother or sister."

The child's tears ebbed. "You will?"

"Absolutely. And your little brother or sister will love you too, just as I know you will love him or her. In fact, I'm counting on it. Babies need a lot of looking after, and I'm counting on your help. Big sister's are very important."

The pain in Adriena's eyes faded now and she clumsily wiped away her tears. "I suppose I do like babies really," she said.

"Of course you do," Kathryn smiled. "Come on, let's go home."

This time, Adriena did not protest.

"Mommy," she asked, getting to her feet. "Where is the baby coming from?"

Kathryn couldn't help but smile at that. "I'll tell you when we get home," she answered. She then held out her hand to the child, and Adriena gladly took it.

* * *

FOUR MONTHS LATER

Now heavily pregnant, Kathryn gazed at her much cherished picture of Chakotay as she sat on a windowseat in her bedroom. Any day now their baby would be born, but Chakotay had not returned. It had been over five months since he and Darkin had left for Cardassian space, and in all that time, she had only heard from him once...three months ago when he had sent a brief message telling her that he and Darkin were well and they had found some leads. She hoped with all her heart that his subsequent silence was due to the following of these leads, rather than an unfortunate event, and tried her best to suppress all doubts and fears.

Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen, and she put her hand there. She had felt twinges all day, but over the past couple of hours they had intensified. When the pain subsided, she got to her feet, took the picture back over to her bedside cabinet, and went to find her mother. She found her in the kitchen, making herself a light supper.

"I might be wrong," Kathryn said, approaching her, "but I think the baby's coming."

Instantly, her mother was at her side. "How far apart are the contractions?"

"I don't know exactly," Kathryn said as she felt another, "but they're close."

"Then we'd better get you to a hospital. I'll call Phoebe to take care of Adriena and the dogs."

* * *

"Doctor," Kathryn said when Voyager's former EMH finally arrived in the delivery room. "What took you so long?"

"A live interview on Chat-That," he explained. "No outside communication is allowed on air. I came as soon as I got your mother's message."

As the Doctor approached the bed, Kathryn cried out in pain.

"Have you been seen by another doctor?" he asked in concern.

Gretchen answered in her place. "She's only been seen by a nurse, and that was a while ago."

"I see. Given your age and medical history," the Doctor continued, "you should have been monitored constantly. Someone will be hearing about this. I'm not happy as it is about you attempting natural labor, to go through it unsupervised is unacceptable."

"I want it natural," Kathryn said, the pain subsiding, "it's how it's meant to be..."

"In normal circumstances, yes," the Doctor replied, picking up a medical tricorder. "But you suffered severe pelvic injuries in a conflict with the Twkanra on Voyager. I strongly advise a caesarean."

"No," Kathryn protested. "I'm ok. I want it this way."

"Then we'll proceed as we are for now," the Doctor conceded. "But if, at any time, I feel you or the baby is in danger, we must resort to caesarean or fetal transport. Agreed?"

Kathryn nodded. "Agreed."

* * *

Three hours later, Kathryn was still in labor. Sweating, and clutching the bedsheets in pain, she lay on her side and wept softly. "I'm sorry," she said to her mother, who was sitting beside her. "I just can't take this anymore..."

Gently, Gretchen stroked her daughter's brow. "It will soon be over, honey. You're doing well. I'm so proud of you."

"I want Chakotay," Kathryn sobbed. "He should he here. He said he'd be here..."

Suddenly, an excruciating pain made her scream in agony and a machine behind her bleeped.

"What's happening?" Gretchen asked, turning to the Doctor who was already scanning her.

"She's hemorrhaging from a uterine rupture," he replied. "I'm going to have to perform an emergency caesarean."

With that, he put a hypospray to Kathryn's neck, and in seconds she was unconscious. He then turned to Gretchen. "I must ask you to leave."

"I want to stay," Gretchen declared, amost in a daze.

"This is not up for discussion," the Doctor cried. "Please, leave!"

Seeing she had no choice, Gretchen reluctantly left the room.

* * *

All was misty...blurry. Slowly, the white fog before Kathryn's eyes cleared and blurred colors became recognizable objects. For a moment, she couldn't work out where she was, then everything came back to her. The last thing she could remember was crying out in agony, and at that memory, infinite fear for her baby consumed her.

"It's alright," a familiar voice said, "our Hanara is just fine."

The voice was Chakotay's and Kathryn's heart skipped a beat at the sound of it. Through blurred vision, she saw him standing by the bed, his dearly beloved face looking down at hers.

"Chakotay," she said, happy tears filling her eyes. "You made it...you're home."

"I'm here," he said, taking her hand in his. "We have a daughter, my love. A beautiful little girl."

Kathryn smiled and looked away from her husband to the crib beside her bed. "I see her," she whispererd. "Our Hanara."

"She looks just like you," Chakotay continued. "She has your nose and eyes and your hair too."

"Poor darling," Kathryn teased. She then closed her eyes, her body sleepy. "I want to hold her."

"Not yet," Chakotay replied. "When you're stronger. You need to rest now."

"I'm so glad you're here," Kathryn said, drifting to sleep. "I love you so much..."

Tenderly, Chakotay kissed her forehead. "I love you too."

Kathryn smiled and then, before she knew it, was fast asleep.

* * *

"She's so beautiful," Kathryn said to her mother as she cradled her new-born daughter the following morning. "I can't believe she's mine. She's so tiny and yet so perfect."

"Ten pounds is hardly tiny," Gretchen teased. "No wonder you ruptured. I'm glad I didn't have to push such a weight into the world."

Kathryn laughed and then looked up at her mother. "I'm so happy, Mom. Hanara's so amazing and Chakotay's home...I can't believe it all."

Her mother flinched. "Chakotay's home?"

Kathryn nodded. "Haven't you seen him? He was here last night."

Gretchen paled and got to her feet. "I think our little one should go back to the crib now, you're very weak. Give her to me."

Reluctantly, Kathryn handed her daughter over with a kiss, and then lay back against her pillows. "He said he'd be here and I should never have doubted him. He's never broken his word to me."

When baby Janeway was safely in the crib, Gretchen sat on the edge of her daughter's bed. "I've been here at the hospital all night, darling, either in here with you or at the cafeteria, and I haven't once seen Chakotay."

"Then you must have missed him," Kathryn reasoned. "Because he was here, I swear."

Sadly, Gretchen took her daughter's hand in hers. "Are you sure it wasn't all just a dream?"

"No," Kathryn insisted. "He was here. He's the one who told me we had a daughter..."

"Then I'll check with Phoebe and reception," her mother said, letting go of Kathryn's hand and getting to her feet. "I won't be long."

With that, her mother left, and Kathryn turned again to her precious baby. The child was sleeping soundly and Kathryn gazed at her in awe. She had the cutest, tiniest, features, and a mop of fluffy red hair. "I'm going to take good care of you," Kathryn said quietly. "I love you so much and will be here for you always." She reached out and touched the crib. "So many people love you...your Daddy, Adriena, Grandma Gretchen, Grandma Enola, and your aunts Phoebe and Sekaya. We're so lucky to be blessed with you, and I hope we bring as much happiness into your life as you've brought into ours."

Unable to resist the overwhelming desire to cuddle her baby, Kathryn was just about to pick up the child, when Gretchen returned. Her face was pale and she walked slowly towards the bed. "I'm afraid there's no record of Chakotay visiting last night," she said sadly. "He hasn't visited Phoebe at the house either."

Kathryn shook her head in disbelief. "But he was here, I saw him, he spoke..."

Gretchen sat on the bed once again. "It was just a dream, darling. You were heavily sedated. I'm sorry."

"No," Kathryn replied, tears filling her eyes, "he was here." Then an alarming agony filled her heart when she remembered another time Chakotay had appeared to her... "No," she cried, "no!"

Her mother drew her close, trying to comfort her, but all Kathryn could do was cry out in utter despair at the terrible thought that Chakotay was dead.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY


	21. Chapter 21

**_Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures_**

CHAPTER 21

20 YEARS LATER

Sitting by a window of the house that had been her home for over two decades, Kathryn topped up her cup of coffee and looked out at a wintery Lake George. Her hair was silver now, and was swept away from her face in an elegant bun, and her once smooth skin showed the signs of aging. At her feet, looking up at her with hopeful brown eyes, was a little white terrier.

"Oh, ok, Snowy," Kathryn smiled, unable to resist the animal's silent plea. "Just a little piece of cookie..."

She picked up an oatmeal cookie from a plate before her, broke off a little piece, and handed it to her pet.

Suddenly, the far-right living room door burst open and Adriena barged in. Her step-daughter was now an attractive woman of twenty-eight, and had glossy black hair that tumbled over her shoulders.

"Don't tell me," Kathryn said as the young woman crossed the floor. "You were fired again." Over the past few years, Adriena had been fired from more occupations than it was possible to count.

"I quit," Adriena declared, sitting opposite. "That scally-wag Martin promised that I would get the part of Regan, but he gave it to Tracy and cast me as Goneril."

"Does it matter?" Kathryn asked. "If I remember _King Lear_ correctly, aren't they wicked sisters who kill each other?"

"That's not the point," Adriena bewailed. "He promised me the part and I've learnt all the lines. But even if I hadn't, he was way out of line to mess me about like this!"

"He must have had his reasons, darling."

"I can't think of any, except that Tracy wanted to play Regan and he gave into her because she's his wife. But she can't act to save her life and there's no way I'm playing opposite a clod. He can find someone else to play Goneril. I've had enough of her telling me what to do and lording it about. In fact, I've had enough of acting. I'm going to do something else."

Kathryn took a sip of coffee and hardly dared ask the next question. "What do you have in mind?" Already Adriena had tried Starfleet, Scientific research, private piloting, teaching, art and design, catering, dress-making, music lessons and musical theater."

"I don't know," Adriena replied. "I think I'll go to Trebus for a while...recharge my batteries."

"You like it there, don't you?"

Adriena nodded. "It's so tranquil. I always feel a great sense of peace when I'm there and find I don't lose my temper as much."

Kathryn laughed. "It certainly brings out your calmer side."

Adriena sighed. "I don't know why I'm so bull-headed. I just get so cross inside and suddenly I'm letting everyone know."

"You're part Cardassian, darling," Kathryn reminded her. "As your father would say, it's in your nature."

"I guess," Adriena conceded. "But it's so frustrating."

"Maybe you should talk to B'Elanna. As part-Klingon, she's always struggling to contain her temper too. She may have some techniques to share."

Adriena was about to answer when the door chime sounded.

"I wonder who that is," Kathryn said, putting down the cup in her hands. "I'm not expecting anyone."

Adriena got to her feet. "I'll go find out."

In less than five minutes, she returned with Admiral Hayes...a tall middle-aged man with graying brown hair.

"Admiral Hayes," Kathryn said, getting to her feet. "Good morning. This is a surprise. What can I do for you?"

Adriena spoke before he had a chance too. "He says he has news about Daddy."

The brightness in Kathryn's eyes faded. She could tell from the man's face that it was not good news, and while she had always known that Chakotay was dead, it was still going to hurt to know for certain. "I see," she said quietly.

"I'm afraid it's not good news," the Admiral began. "His body has been found by one of our explorer crews in Cardassian space." Now that relations with the Cardassians had improved, licensed travel was permitted through their space. "They located his remains in a mass-grave near the site of a former Cardassian prison on Orvan. Several other human bodies were found in the same grave, including those of your husband's companion and his sister. Tests reveal that Chakotay and Darkin died approximately twenty years ago and Marla almost thirty. I'm sorry."

Kathryn made no reply, just turned to look out of the window.

"Their bodies will return with the crew," Admiral Hayes went on, "and can be buried as you wish."

Again only silence answered.

"We will make the necessary arrangements," Adriena said on her step-mother's behalf. "Thank you for coming to tell us."

"I only wish my news had been happier," the Admiral said sadly. "My condolences to you both."

"Thank you," Adriena replied.

"Well," he said uncomfortably, "I'd better get on...I'm heading for a conference on Vulcan."

Adriena gestured to the door. "I'll show you out."

"No," he protested. "There's no need. I'll find my own way out." He then looked at Kathryn sadly. "Again, my condolences."

With that, he left awkwardly, closing the living-room door behind him. When he was gone, Adriena closed the gap between her and Kathryn and placed a comforting hand on her step-mother's shoulder. As she did so, a tear escaped Kathryn's eye and she finally spoke.

"Marla was already dead," she whispered. "He died for nothing."

At that, Adriena drew Kathryn close and they wept together.

* * *

"Damn," Adriena said as she removed a burning chocolate cake from the oven that evening. "Damn, damn!"

From the doorway, Snowy watched as she put the cake down on a table and began to prod it with a knife to see the extent of the damage.

"Burnt to a crisp," she cried. "I'm going to have to replicate something or Mom and I will have nothing for dessert."

Suddenly, a bleep sounded, followed by a male voice. "Incoming transportation request, Doctor E.M.H Shmullus."

Adriena took off her apron and walked into the living room. "Accept."

In seconds, the Doctor appeared.

"Good evening, Doctor," Adriena said. "If you're looking for Mom, she's not home yet, but I'm expecting her any moment now."

The Doctor stepped closer, his face taut with pain. "It's actually you I wanted to see," he said quietly. "There's been an accident. I don't know what happened exactly, but it seems your mother was attempting to fix an engine malfunction in her shuttle when it exploded. She was severely injured and is in a critical condition at Starfleet Sanatorium." He paused and strugged with the next words. "We've done everything we could, but her injures were too severe. I'm afraid it's only a matter of time. I'm sorry."

Tears flooded Adriena's eyes and she stepped away from him. "No," she said. "Not Mom..."

"If you would like to see her," the Doctor went on. "Then I suggest you come with me right away. If not, I know she would understand."

Adriena looked up to the ceiling and let out a cry that pierced the Doctor's heart. Then, before he knew it, several objects were flying around the room, crashing and breaking as they landed on the wooden floor.

"Adriena," he cried. "Stop this!"

Exhausted, the half-Cardassian fell to her knees sobbing.

Cautiously, the Doctor stepped closer, his holographic heart bleeding for her. "Shall we go?"

Tears blinding her, Adriena looked up and nodded.

* * *

Standing at the doorway of Kathryn's room at the Sanatorium, tears streamed down Adriena's face as she looked at her beloved step-mother lying so still, her body attached to a number of devices.

"She's conscious," the Doctor said, "but extremely weak."

In a daze, Adriena walked over to the bed, sat down, and took her step-mother's hand in hers.

"You can't die, Mom," she wept. "Please don't die."

Kathryn stirred beneath her and briefly opened her eyes. "Adriena," she whispered. "My darling..."

"You must get better, you must..."

"You must...be strong," Kathryn replied. "Promise me..."

"But I need you. I love you so much."

"Love you too... am sorry...don't know...what happened...shouldn't have...exploded."

No doubt an inquiry would be held into the cause of the explosion, but Adriena didn't need any inquisition to tell her it was due to a lack of concentration because of what Admiral Hayes had told them earlier.

"You can't die, Mom," Adriena continued. "You can't ..."

"Must be strong," Kathryn said again. "Take care...Hanara...Promise me...Promise me..."

"I promise," Adriena wept. "But I don't want you to die..."

"Is my time...must be strong."

"I'm sorry, Mom," Adriena sobbed. "I'm sorry I disgraced you by getting kicked out of the Academy. I never told you, but I want you to know. I'm so sorry I made you ashamed."

A glimmer of a smile crossed Kathryn's pale face and Adriena felt a feint squeeze of her hand. "Was proud...never told you...Wish I'd...poured bucket...on Dragon-Wagon."

Adriena had to laugh at that and through tears she kissed Kathryn's hand. "You've been the best mother I could ever have had...you loved me when no one else did...I'm so thankful."

"So thankful...for you," Kathryn replied, her voice barely audible. "So proud...of my...little girl..."

With that, her head drooped slightly to the side and a dead bleep filled the room.

"No," Adriena cried, hardly able to breathe. "No...Mom!"

She then felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and heard the Doctor speak.

"I'm sorry. She's gone."

At that, Adriena cried out in absolute despair, and gathered Kathryn in her arms, cradling her inconsolably.

* * *

TWO WEEKS LATER

Dressed all in black, Adriena stood at an open grave in Bloomington Crematorium. An icy winter wind blew through her body, but she was oblivious to the cold. All her attention was on the hole before her and the two coffins that had just been interred. After so many years apart, her father and the woman she regarded as her mother were together again, lying together in death as they should have done in life, but it was little comfort to her aching heart. Standing beside her was a pretty young woman with long auburn hair, olive skin, and distinctive blue eyes, and the woman put her hand on Adriena's shoulder. "Come on, sis. Everyone's left for the hall."

"You go," Adriena replied. "I want to stay here for a while."

"They'll be waiting for us," Hanara persisted. "Come on. Let's do Mom proud and grab a coffee."

"A coffee?" Adriena cried, turning to her sister. "How the hell can you think of coffee? We've just buried our mother...and our father."

"Because one of us has got to think about something! All you've done for the past two weeks is hide away in your room crying. I'm the one who's had to take care of everything, I'm the one who's had to deal with everyone. You've got to snap out of it, Adriena. You've got to get on with your life!"

"I can't," Adriena said honestly. "I loved her so much...I can't accept she's gone."

"Well you have too!" Tears filled the young woman's eyes. "I loved her just as much as you, and I'm hurting just as much as you, but Mom wouldn't want us to wallow. She'd want us to get on with things and have a good life like her."

"A good life?" Adriena scoffed. "You think she had a good life?"

"I know she did. She achieved so much and we've always had a good happy life together."

"No," Adriena retorted. "You've had a good happy life. Mom's life was full of tragedy and heartache and her death was just as miserable."

"That's not true. Mom was happy, I know she was."

Adriena shook her head. "You only think she was happy because you were happy. I was there when Daddy left and I was there when he didn't come back. I heard her cry, many times, but you were too busy wailing your baby head off for a damn feed to notice her pain. We had a happy life because Mom was determined to give us one, but don't for a minute think hers was all candy and ice-cream, because it wasn't."

Unable to listen to anymore, Hanara walked away.

"That's right," Adriena cried. "Turn away from what you don't want to hear!"

Anger surfacing now, Hanara turned around and walked back. "Why, Adriena? Why are you doing this? Why are you taking all this out on me?"

"Because I don't understand you! It's like you don't care that Mom has gone."

"Of course I care! There's just nothing I can do! All I can do is carry Mom with me in my heart and live a life to make her proud." A tear ran down her cheek. "But I'm going to miss her every day for the rest of my life!"

At that, Adriena softened and turned back to the grave. "So am I," she said quietly. "If it wasn't for her, I don't know what would have happened to me. All these years she's loved me, for no other reason than she wanted too. I had nothing, but she gave me everything. I owe her so much, and some how I've got to pay her back."

"By having a good life," Hanara replied. "I know that life has been very different for us, and that your bond with Mom was very special because of everything you'd been through, but the last thing she would want is to see you grieve like this."

"I know," Adriena admitted. "Before she died she made me promise that I'd be happy... but I can't. I can't accept she's gone and I can't accept how things are. I have to make it up to her, I have to make things better for her as she did for me."

Hanara frowned, not understanding. "What do you mean?"

"I have to make things better," she said. "How, I don't know, but I will."

"I don't understand."

"No," Adriena replied, her tone not unkind. "You wouldn't. You're the perfect Starfleet officer...play by the rules, die by the rules. Me, on the other hand, well, we both know what I am." She paused and turned again to her sister. "I'm joining the Maquis-Nouveau." The Maquis-Nouveau was the name of the official fighting force protecting all independent planets in the former demilitarized zone. It was named in honor of all Maquis who had died fighting for freedom, but was now a legitimate military body defending a new political state - Libertia.

Hanara's eyes widened in alarm. "What?"

"It's where I have to be."

"But if you join them, you'll have to take up citizenship in Libertia and lose all your rights in the Federation."

"I don't care. I'm joining the Maquis-Nouveau."

Desperate tears filled Hanara's eyes. "Don't go, please...I can't lose you too."

At that Adriena drew her sister close and held her tight. "You won't lose me, Hana. Whenever you need me, I'll be here, I promise."

* * *

FIVE YEARS LATER

Sitting at the helm of the most advanced Cardassian shuttle she could get her hands on, Adriena flew the vessel towards a pulsating temporal rift on her viewscreen. Her visage and physique were now completely Cardassian, and her human DNA was undetectable except by advanced biometric scans. The surgery had been performed secretly by a doctor on Zarkon, the capital planet of Libertia, and she had told no one back on Earth, not even Hanara, about the transformation.

A bleep sounded, informing her of an incoming transmission, and Adriena accepted it. Instantly, Korath's face appeared on a small comm-screen.

"Remember our deal, one rift only."

In exchange for persuading B'Elanna to support his campaign for a place on the High Council, Korath had agreed to generating one temporal rift with his deflector. When she had arrived at his house looking like a Cardassian, she had simply told him she was adopting her maternal heritage, and he couldn't have cared less.

"If you're not where you want to be," he continued, "as I can make no guarantees, you'll have only minutes to turn back before the rift collapses."

"Understood," Adriena replied.

The rift was directly before her now, and Adriena flew into it at maximum warp. As she did so, the shuttle rocked and the connection with Korath sizzled and terminated. Before her on the viewscreen, blue light danced, and then finally swirled with black as the shuttle left the rift and soared into open space.

As soon as the shuttle was clear of the rift, Adriena brought it to a standstill and checked her location in the space-time continuum. In seconds, she had determined that, while the destination was correct, she had arrived three months later than intended.

"Damn it," she said, hitting the console before her. Her plan had been to intercept her father and Darkin as they arrived in Cardassian space, have them enquire about Marla, and inform them that she had died years before. Now she was too late.

Quickly, she scanned the rift...it would collapse in less than three minutes. That was more than enough time to reverse course and go back to the future, but if she could not convince Korath to open another rift, this could be her only chance of changing history.

Sweating, Adriena accessed a file she had previously created and pulled up a chart she had made of her father's journey through this space. She firmly believed her father and Darkin had ended up in Orvan because they had found out Marla had been held there, and using their average travel speed, their location when they sent a letter to Kathryn, and their time of death, she had estimated their course and arrival time at Orvan. Peforming a quick calculation, she determined that, based on her estimations, she could catch up with them before they reached the planet. Their shuttle could only travel at a maximum of warp 5 whereas hers could fly over 9.

Having manually instructed the computer to inform her of the rifts demise, the computer spoke.

"Rift will collapse in 60 seconds."

Adriena looked up at the viewscreen. "Display."

Immediately, the rift appeared on the screen and Adriena's heart thumped in her chest and echoed in her ears. The lives of everyone she loved hanged on the decision she made now and she had less than ten seconds to make it. After that, it would be too late to turn around and reach the rift before it collapsed. Closing her eyes, Adriena prayed to the Great Spirit and made her decision.

"Pursue course Chakin78," she said, her voice trembling. "Maximum warp."

The engines powered up and Adriena opened her eyes just in time to see the temporal rift disappear.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE


	22. Chapter 22

**_Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures_**

CHAPTER 22

TWO WEEKS LATER

Just as Adriena was about to get changed for bed, an urgent bleep commanded her attention. As quickly as she could, she returned to the bridge and checked out the cause of the alarm. To her relief, the alert was not due to any looming danger, but the detection of a Mayan lifesign just over a light year away. Her shuttle was able to perform long range biometric scans, and even though she did not expect her father and Darkin to be within scanning range for another week, she had instructed the computer to scan for them continuously, just incase she had mis-estimated their course. Before beginning her mission, she had provided the computer with a record of her father's individual lifesign, but as she had not been able to obtain one for Darkin, her only option was to scan for a generic Mayan.

Manually isolating the detected lifesign, Adriena attempted to perform a deeper analysis, but at this distance, it was impossible to determine if the lifesign belonged to a man or a woman.

"Computer," she said, switching to vocal command, "scan planet for lifesign Chakotay."

As her father's body had been found with Darkin's, if this lifesign belonged to Darkin, her father had to be close by.

_"Lifesign Chakotay not found."_

"Scan for more human lifesigns," she said, broadening the search incase the program was failing to identify his lifesign at this distance.

_"Only one human lifesign can be found. Gender unidentifiable."_

"Scan neighboring planets and all possible vessels for another human lifesign."

The computer immediately processed the request, but the task took several minutes to perform.

_"No more human lifesigns found."_

"Repeat scan," Adriena commanded. "Search for all and any trace of a Federation vessel."

Again it took time to complete the scan.

_"No Federation vessel located or traced."_

A fear began to consume Adriena. If this lifesign belonged to Darkin, and her father's was no where to be found, that could only mean one of two things: that her father and Darkin had been separated, or her father was already dead. As their bodies had been found together, the overwhelming likelihood was the latter.

But no, she would not think that. It was possible that this lifesign didn't belong to a man at all, but to a woman who had been taken from her father's tribe. Until she knew otherwise, she would believe that.

"Continue to scan for lifesign Chakotay and all human lifesigns," she said. "Alert me as soon as another lifesign is detected."

It would take at least another eight hours to be within deep scanning range, so not being able to do any more until she had further information, Adriena left the bridge. She did not expect to get much sleep, if any, but she had to at least try. An exhausted mind would not do her or anyone else any good.

* * *

After a long and restless night, Adriena arrived on the bridge the following morning with a cup of black coffee and a bagel. The computer had not alerted her to the detection of any more human lifesigns during the night, and a quick manual check confirmed that none had been found.

"Computer," Adriena said, sitting at the helm, "attempt to determine gender and age of detected Mayan lifesign."

_"Gender and age unidentifiable."_

Adriena sighed. Surely the ship would soon reach deep scanning range?

"Inform me when gender or age is identifiable."

Tired, she sat back against the comfortable chair and began to eat her breakfast. She wasn't really hungry, but had to eat something. When she had finished her bagel, and was drinking the last of her coffee, the computer beeped and spoke.

_"Gender of detected Mayan is male. Age unidentifiable."_

At that, Adriena almost heaved up her breakfast...as far as she knew, not one man had been taken from the tribe.

"Determine age range of Mayan," she said, hoping with all her heart that the man was too old to be Darkin.

_"Mayan is immature."_

Adriena flinched. A child?

"Clarify," she asked. "Is detected Mayan a human child?"

_"Affirmative."_

Adriena frowned. What was a Mayan child doing all alone on a planet of Cardassians? All she could think was that he was the son of a woman taken from Trebus.

"Computer," she asked. "Is the child part Cardassian?"

_"Negative."_

Then, if her theory was right, the woman had to have been pregnant at the time of capture, and the child had to be about eight years old.

"Perform analysis of planet, determining phase of day cycle and technological advancement." Not all planets in the empire were as equally advanced.

_"Phase of day is afternoon. Planet is pre-warp."_

Pre-warp? Then she remembered that several Cardassian colonies had opted for a non-technological society in the same way that her father's tribe had. The people on this planet could live in a re-created tribal society, or in one from another period of Cardassian history.

"Scan child's surroundings and hypothesize social situation."

In seconds, the computer answered. _"Probable social situation is an educational or juvenile residential facility."_

In other words, a school or a boarding house.

Adriena got up and walked towards the transporter pad. There was no way she could continue her journey without at least investigating this child's circumstances. If he was the son of a woman taken from Trebus, for him to be still alive, someone, at some time, must have taken pity on him and either put him into a boarding house or taken him into their family. She suspected he was living in some kind of boarding house, but it was not impossible he had been adopted.

"Computer," she said, "beam me to a suitable secluded public place close to the location of the child, and standby for return transport request."

Moments later, Adriena found herself standing in an avenue, sided by tall green hedges, leading up to a large house of dismal gray brick. The people of this planet clearly lived in a developed society, but a horse and cart waiting outside the door indicated that life on this planet resembled one of an age long gone by. To her left, just where the hedge ended, was an elegant sign informing the visitor that this was, as Adriena had suspected, a boarding house. In the distance, the playful shouts of children could be heard, and Adriena pulled our her tricorder. A quick scan located the Mayan child, and he appeared to be only feet away behind the hedge to her right. A little down the avenue was a seating area, and if she climbed onto the seat, she would just be able to look over the top of the tall hedge.

Adriena quickly made her way over to the seat, stepped onto it, and looked over into a small garden beyond. She expected to see a little human boy with dark hair and dark skin playing amongst the Cardassian children, but all she could see was Cardassian children. Perplexed, Adriena consulted her tricorder, which was definitely picking up a Mayan child, and visually picked out the corresponding boy. At close range, the tricorder identified the child as a human male of approximately eight years of age, but while the child had black hair, he appeared to be fully Cardassian. The peculiarity stumped Adriena momentarily, but her sharp brain soon began to think of explanations. The most logical one, to her mind, was that when the child was born to one of the women taken from her father's tribe, someone took pity on him, surgically altered him to look Cardassian, and placed him in a boarding house on a planet where the prohibition of modern technology meant his human heritage was unlikely to be discovered.

For a while, Adriena watched as the little boy played ball with the other children, and racked her brains to decide what to do. It would no doubt be easy to walk into the boarding house and adopt the child, but she had to think of the bigger picture. Her first priority was rescuing her father and Darkin from certain death, and if she tried to do that with this child in tow, she could not only risk the life of the child, but her entire mission. If she did not catch up with her father and Darkin before they were imprisoned at Orvan, she would have to beam them out of the prison and take them back to Trebus herself. If she had this child onboard, it would look very suspicious, as though her whole rescue was premeditated rather than fortuitous. The little boy did not appear to be in any danger, so it was not imperative to take him immediately. If she was able to catch up with her father and Darkin before they were captured, she could tell them casually that a human baby had been taken to a planet in this sector, and offer assistance in retrieving him. No doubt they would be grateful, the child would be rescued, and all would be well. If she could not catch up with them in time, and they ended up on her ship, she could then pretend to detect the child as they travelled to Trebus.

Happy with her decision, Adriena climbed down from the seat and hit her commbadge.

"Computer," she said, "beam me up."

Moments later, she dematerialized.

* * *

A WEEK LATER

All was black, cold. Lying on the floor of a dirty prison cell, Chakotay shivered, and tried to keep warm by curling himself into a ball. His body was bruised and bleeding, and all he had in the way of clothing was his boxer-shorts.

Suddenly, the familiar tingle of transportation engulfed him and bright light burned his eyes. As the glare cleared, he saw what looked like a female Cardassian looking down at him.

"Don't be afraid," Adriena said, tears stinging her eyes at the violent wounds on her father's body. "I'm your friend, you're safe now."

"I don't have Cardassian friends," Chakotay replied through a swollen mouth. "If you're going to torture me again, just do it."

"I'm not," Adriena tried to reassure him. "I told you, I'm your friend and want to help you. You saved my family at Lanka, I owe you." Kathryn had once told her a story of how her father had saved some Cardassian civilians on Lanka when sadistic members of the Maquis had launched a terrorist attack. "I've beamed you to my ship," she went on, "your companion too."

In the corner of his eyes, Chakotay saw a human form lying close beside him, and he turned towards it. Sure enough, it was Darkin. He appeared to be unconscious, but his chest was moving, indicating life.

"As I speak we're on our way to the Federation," Adriena continued. "They won't come after you as this ship is cloaked."

Chakotay lay back down, panting in pain and fear. "This is just another hallucination," he cried. "Another of your sick mental tortures!"

"No," Adriena protested. "I swear. You're safe now. I'm going to treat your injuries and give you a ride to your homeworld."

Chakotay's tortured eyes found hers. "Like I was promised my sister, only to be shown a corpse? What do you take me for?"

"A friend in need," she said calmly. "I only want to help you."

"Then have your sick fun," he cried. "Do what you want!"

Having anticipated that her father and Darkin had most likely been beaten at the prison, Adriena had at the ready a number of medical instruments. Seeing that her father was becoming increasingly agitated, she picked up a hypospray and put it to his neck. Almost immediately, he fell asleep. As she looked at him, lying so bruised and bloody on the floor, a tear rolled down her cheek. He was a good, kind, man who had risked everything for the love of a sister, and didn't deserve to be in so much pain and anguish.

Tenderly, she reached out and stroked her father's hair. "He's safe now, Mom," she whispered. "I'm going to take care of him and bring him home."

* * *

Stirring awake, Chakotay found himself in the unfamiliar surroundings of a tiny dormer-cabin. The narrow bed he was lying on filled most of the room, and the only relief from the claustrophobia of four close walls was the long window next to the bed. Sitting up, he looked out of the window and saw stars streaming by at warp speed. The last thing he could remember was lying somewhere, he couldn't remember where, with a Cardassian woman looking down at him. He had been in great pain then, but was not in any pain now. Glancing at his hands, he saw there was not a mark on them, and a quick feel of his face and lips told him there was no swelling. He was also no longer in boxer-shorts but white pyjamas. Could the Cardassian woman have been telling the truth, that she going to help him? Or was this just another torture session? The way Cardassians played with minds made it impossible to know what was real and what was not.

Suddenly, the door to his room opened and the same Cardassian woman he was thinking of entered. Now he could focus properly, he saw that she had short black hair, brown eyes, and was younger than he had thought. She was thin, far too thin for her height, and was wearing a long-sleeved blue top over black pants.

"Good morning," she smiled. "The computer told me you'd woken up. I've been monitoring you."

Chakotay said nothing, just studied her suspiciously.

"You must be hungry," she continued. "What would you like for breakfast?"

"What I'd like," Chakotay said, getting out of the bed. "Is to know what is going on here."

"As I told you last night," Adriena answered, "I'm giving you a ride home. " She was disappointed that her father was still questioning her intentions, but knew it was only natural in his situation.

"Because I helped your family at Lanka," he replied, doubt in his voice.

"That's right."

His eyes held hers, and Adriena felt as though he was searching her soul.

"Supposing you're telling the truth," he said. "How did you beam us out of the prison? There's a security shield."

"I managed to penetrate it."

"I don't remember seeing you at the prison. How could you know I helped your family if you hadn't seen me?"

Adriena had expected questions like this and was prepared. "Word travels fast. There can't be many ex-maquis warriors with a temple tattoo named Chakotay."

That answer momentarily silenced him, then he questioned again.

"But why would you risk your life to help me?"

"Why did you risk your life to save civilians on Lanka?"

Again, her answer silenced him.

"I'm not your enemy," she went on. "All I want is to return a favor. I can't expect you to trust me, but I am telling you the truth."

Chakotay searched her eyes again, and then seemed to relax a little.

"I suppose," he concluded, "all I can do is give you the benefit of the doubt."

Adriena smiled. "That's good enough for me." She then held out her hand to him. "I'm Erinada, by the way. Welcome aboard my ship."

Chakotay hesitated, but then took Adriena's hand in his and shook it.

"Now," Adriena said, breaking their connection, "you get back in bed. You need to take things easy for the next few hours. I'll bring you breakfast. What would you like?"

"Anything suitable for vegetarians," he humoured her as he climbed back into the narrow bed.

"Pancakes?"

"They'd be good," he answered.

Adriena turned to leave, but as she did so, Chakotay spoke again. "Darkin," he said hesitantly, afraid of giving into a possible deception by seeming to believe it. "How is he?"

"Sleeping soundly," Adriena replied. "His head injury was quite nasty, but it wasn't serious. He might have a headache for a couple of days, but he's going to be just fine."

Her father seemed relieved at this, but there was still infinite suspicion in his eyes.

"If this is real," he said quietly. "Thank you."

Adriena smiled warmly, a lump in her throat, and then left the room.

* * *

"This is a fine ship," Chakotay said as Adriena reluctantly gave him a tour of the bridge that evening. "I didn't know Cardassians had such advanced vessels."

Now that he had been on this ship for hours, and there had been no mind-games or torture-sessions, he had come to accept that this woman was genuinely helping him and Darkin.

"I'm something of an engineer," Adriena replied, the words not a lie as she was very skilled, "and have made modifications."

"Impressive," he said sincerely. "And it's very impressive how you managed to penetrate Orvan's security shield and beam us out."

"It was just a matter of finding the right frequency. It took me a while, but in the end I got it."

"An achievement, nonetheless," Chakotay insisted. "You'd have been a great asset on Voyager."

Adriena pretended ignorance. "Voyager?"

"A ship I was First Officer of," he explained. "We were stranded in the Delta Quadrant and getting back was no easy task. If it wasn't for our captain, now my wife, Kathryn Janeway, I doubt we would have made it. She's an amazing woman."

The genuine admiration and affection in those words was unmistakable and touched Adriena's heart. She only had a few memories of her father, but when she remembered him, she remembered his kindness, his gentleness, and the laughter of happy family times.

"Sounds like you had quite an adventure," Adriena said. "You will have to tell me about it as we travel." She had never got tired of hearing her step-mother talk about the Voyager years, and she would love to hear about it from her father's perspective.

"Gladly," he replied. "And I'd like to know more about your family."

At that, Adriena tensed. "I don't like to talk about them."

"I see," Chakotay said sadly. They had clearly not survived the war. "And I understand. I've lost people too. I'm sorry."

His sympathy unexpectedy brought tears to Adriena's eyes, as the wound of Kathryn's death was still raw, but she managed to suppress them. "Thank you," she said quietly. She then changed the subject to that of her next mission. "It occurred to me," she began. "that maybe some of the other women taken with your sister are still alive. This ship has long range biometric scanners, so I've programmed the computer to continuously scan for Mayan lifesigns. If it detects one, it will alert us."

"Good thinking," Chakotay answered. "I doubt any of them are still alive, but it can't hurt to try."

Eager to get her father out of the bridge now she had obliged him with a quick tour, she gestured to the door. "Well," she said, "you've seen everything now. Let's go and see if Darkin's up to an evening meal." He had been feeling nauseous all day and had eaten very little "If not, we can dine together and you can tell me about the Delta Quadrant."

"On one condition," Chakotay replied. "That you let me cook you a meal...just a small token of my appreciation for what you've done."

"Are you feeling up to it?"

"Absolutely."

Adriena smiled. "Then that would be great."

Chakotay smiled in return, and then they left the bridge.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO


	23. Chapter 23

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures**

CHAPTER 23

A WEEK LATER

"I win again," Adriena beamed as she defeated Chakotay and Darkin at cards. "How about another round?"

"Not for me," Darkin smiled. "There's only so much bruising one ego can take in a night."

"Coward," Adriena teased.

Darkin raised up his hands. "Guilty as charged." He then got to his feet. "You and Chakotay keep playing, though. I'll take a shower and grab an early night."

"Ok," Adriena replied. "See you in the morning."

He nodded. "Sweet dreams." He then turned to Chakotay. "Goodnight, Chakotay."

"Goodnight," Chakotay answered.

When Darkin had left, Adriena addressed her father. "So, are you up for another game, or do you want to call it quits?"

Chakotay smiled. "I think I can handle one more defeat."

Adriena smiled in return and gathered up the cards. As she shuffled them, Chakotay picked up his glass of water and took a much needed drink. He then looked at the young Cardassian woman sadly. Over the past week they had spent a lot of time together, but in all that time she had said very little about herself and nothing of her future aspirations. It was as though she was a solitary soul wandering the galaxy alone, and behind her beautiful smile, he could sense a deep pain.

"If you haven't had enough of Darkin and I," he said, putting down his drink, "I'd like you to come with us to Trebus and meet my family."

Adriena's hands stilled at that. Her understanding of temporal mechanics was that as soon as her father and Darkin were transported safely to Trebus, the future she came from would be erased from time, and she with it.

"That's very kind of you," she replied, sharing out the cards, "but I really need to be going on my way. Besides, I hardly think your people would appreciate a visit from a Cardassian."

"On the contrary. They would like to thank you, as would I, for everything you've done for..." A beep interrupted him, and Adriena couldn't have been more grateful. "An approaching vessel?" he considered.

The alarm was most likely due to the detection of the Mayan child, but Adriena played along. "Perhaps," she replied, getting to her feet. "But most likely an anomaly or simple system malfunction."

With that she left the kitchenette, and Chakotay followed her through the slim sliver doors onto the bridge. Adriena went straight over to the helm and Chakotay walked over to her.

"No danger," she said. "The alert's due to the detection of a Mayan lifesign."

Chakotay sat on a chair beside her. "A Mayan lifesign?"

Adriena nodded. "Just over a light-year away. It appears to be an immature male." Only a generic Mayan lifesign was showing up, as they were not yet within deep scanning range, but she didn't want to put her father and Darkin unnecessarily through the hours of speculation she had endured.

"A child?" Chakotay asked, the same surprise in his voice as she had felt.

"Apparently. He's on a planet called Wanra. If I remember correctly, they live in a historical society...you know, the kind where they have recreated an age-gone by. They are pre-warp and have no modern-technology."

"What would a Mayan child be doing there?"

"I don't know," Adriena replied. "Maybe one of the women taken from your tribe was pregnant at the time, and after the baby was born, he was abandoned on this planet."

"That would make sense. But why put him on a pre-warp planet in a historical society? Surely a modern society would be more accepting of his humanity?"

"I don't know," Adriena answered again. "Maybe they surgically altered him to make him look Cardassian, and placed him here so his humanity wouldn't be detected." She pretended to work the console. "I'm not detecting any other lifesign. The child appears to be alone." She worked the console again. "It's after midnight on his part of the planet and an analysis of his environment suggests he's in either in a boarding school or a boarding house...the same kind of place you say your daughter was in."

"Is there anyway we can find out for sure?" Chakotay asked pensively. "If he's happy and well-cared for, then taking him would do more harm than good, but my daughter was badly neglected and abused in one of those houses, and if he's suffering in any way, we have to take him with us."

"Agreed." Adriena replied. "We won't be in transporter range until tomorrow morning, so as soon as we are, I'll transport to the planet and see what I can find out. If he's in a boarding home, I'll request him...adopt him if need be...and bring him back with me."

"Good plan. But is adoption so easy?"

"Of children in boarding homes, yes," she informed him. She then shut down the program and stood up. "There's no more we can do until tomorrow. Shall we finish our game?"

Chakotay smiled and got to his feet. "You bet!"

* * *

The following afternoon, Adriena transported to the surface. As she didn't know the laws and regulations of the planet regarding personal identification, she had decided not to disguise herself as a native, but to pretend to be from elsewhere in the Empire. After her first visit, she had looked up the planet in her database, and learnt that all historical worlds were compelled by law to inform their citizens of the Cardassian Empire and their place in it. Strapped with a phaser and a tricorder, she walked up worn stone steps to the main door of the boarding house, which was under a columned porch. Hanging beside the door was a frayed brown rope, and Adriena pulled it. In no time at all, the door opened, and an elderly Cardassian man, wearing an old-fashioned black suit, appeared. He looked Adriena up and down, clearly disconcerted at her tight-fitting silver outfit, and then spoke. "May I help you?"

"I'm from the planet Cardassia," Adriena answered. "I've come to collect a missing child that has been traced to this establishment."

The man asked no questions, just stepped aside. "Come in."

Adriena stepped inside and found herself in a gothic style hallway with a red carpet, a glass chandelier, and an ebony staircase that wound up to the floor above.

"I'm Yonran," the man introduced himself. "House-Father. Please come with me to my office."

He turned into a room at his left, and Adriena followed him. The room was dark, stuffy, with heavy brown curtains, dusty bookcases, and silver candlesticks.

"What is the child's name?" Yonran asked as he closed the door behind them.

"Vintan," Adriena bluffed. "But he may be known as a different name here. He's eight years old, and should have black hair and brown eyes."

"We have a child of that description," he answered. "We call him Konrak. He was left on our doorstep as a baby and has grown up with us." The man walked over to a large wooden desk, cluttered with papers. "Was he snatched from his family?"

"Yes," Adriena replied, glad of the direction he was setting. "It's taken us years to trace him."

Yonran opened a draw, pulled out a parchment document, and lay it on the table. He then placed a quill pen upon it and moved a pot of ink beside it. "While I go and get the boy," he said, "please read this release document and sign where indicated."

As Adriena made her way over to the desk, the man left the room. Carefully, she picked up the release document and began to read. It was written in Old-Cardassian, but she managed to make out the gist of it. Not wanting to waste any time, she signed on a thick black line, deliberately obscuring the name 'Erinada' with elaborate flourishes.

When she had finished, Adriena looked around the gloomy room. There had been a House-Father in her home, but his office had been nothing like this. While her planet had not been the most advanced in the Empire, they had at least lived in modern times and used modern technology.

At last, the door behind her creaked open, and Adriena turned towards it. Yonran entered first, followed by what appeared to be the same Cardassian little boy she had seen playing in the garden two weeks earlier. He was wearing a tattered woolen green sweater, brown pants, and on his feet were black shoes with holes at the toes. The boy's dark eyes studied her curiously, and now he was so near she could see the signs of surgical alteration. The left-side of his face appeared to be sagging as he grew, making one eye a little higher than the other.

"This is Konrak," Yonran informed her.

Adriena smiled warmly. "I'm pleased to meet you, Konrak."

The child smiled, dimples showing, but made no reply.

Yonran spoke again. "Is this the child you are looking for?"

To be sure, Adriena pulled out her tricorder and scanned him. The device identified the child before her as Mayan.

"This is him," she replied.

The man walked over to his desk and picked up the release document. "Then as soon as I've checked this over, you may take him."

As he began to read, Adriena addressed Konrak. "Is there anyone you would like to say good-bye to, or anything you would like to get, before we leave?"

Konrak nodded.

"Then you go ahead, honey. Be as long as you want. I'll wait for you outside."

The boy hesitated and looked over at his House-Father.

"Do what the lady says," Yonran told him. "You're in her charge now."

At the man's words, Konrak turned around and hurried out of the room. As the door closed, Yonran spoke. "While we live, by our own choosing, in this re-created era of our history, we don't keep our children in ignorance of space-travel. They know, as is expected, of their place in the empire, and the empire's place in this quadrant."

"I'm sure the knowledge will make the transition easier for him," Adriena replied. "And I thank you for your co-operation."

The man smiled. "We're not all dragon's...us House-Father's. I'm a late-comer to this society...lived most of my life in modernity. I know our boarding houses are infamous throughout the quadrant, but we truly try here to give our children a happy and nurturing home. It isn't easy, as we have a lot of children and very few workers, but we do our best." He paused. "I'm glad Konrak will be re-united with his family. He has a tender heart, more than most, and I'm sure will thrive with the love and attention of kindred." He put down the document in his hand. "All is in order. You may leave now."

Adriena stepped forward and held our her hand to the man. "Good day."

Yonran took her hand and shook it. "Good day. I hope you have a pleasant journey to Cardassia."

"Thank you," Adriena smiled.

She then turned around and left the office.

* * *

It had started to rain outside, so Adriena sheltered in the porch as she waited for Konrak. At last he came, wearing a faded black blazer over his clothes, and under his left arm he carried a floppy toy-dog of shabby gray wool. Standing on tip-toe, the boy gripped the door's iron handle and carefully pulled the door shut. He then turned towards Adriena and looked up at her.

"I don't believe I've told you my name," Adriena said. "I'm Erinada."

The boy made no reply, just gazed at her with his adorable brown eyes.

"I'm going to take you to your people," she continued. "They live very far away, so we're going to have to go in a starship to get there."

At this, the child's face lit up with joy. "Really?"

Adriena nodded. "A beam will take us there." She put her hand over her commbadge. "Are you ready?"

The boy nodded eagerly.

Adriena smiled and hit the badge. "Two to beam up."

Seconds later, they disappeared.

* * *

When they rematerialized on the empty bridge of Adriena's ship, Konrak gasped... both at what he saw and how he had arrived there.

"Welcome aboard my ship," Adriena smiled.

The boy looked up at the transporter buffers, studying them intensely.

"It's called a transporter," Adriena explained. "It can beam people long distances in the blink of an eye."

She stepped off the transporter pad and addressed the computer. "Computer, take us out of orbit and back on course for Trebus." She then turned back to Konrak and gestured to the door.

"Come on, I'll introduce you to my two passengers, Chakotay and Darkin. They're human, so will look strange to you at first, but they're very much looking forward to meeting you."

Konrak left the pad, straining his neck to take in all around him, and followed Adriena into the room beyond.

* * *

Chakotay was just putting a large chocolate cake he had baked onto a small dining table, when Adriena entered the kitchenette with Konrak.

"As you can see," she said, "I'm back safe and sound." Concerned about her safety, Chakotay had wanted full command access in her absence so he could beam her to safety if need be, and she had had a most difficult time persuading him otherwise. The only way she had been able to silence him was by going on the defensive and saying she would not, under any circumstances, hand her ship over to anyone.

Darkin was sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in his hands, and Konrak stared in awe at the two dark aliens before him.

"This is Konrak," Adriena told them. "Our new passenger."

Chakotay smiled warmly at the child. "It's great to meet you, Konrak. I'm Chakotay."

Darkin put down his cup and introduced himself too. "And I'm Darkinvanoka, but you can call me Darkin."

The boy smiled at the two men and Chakotay spoke again. "Have you ever been on a starship before?"

Konrak shook his head.

"He's lived all his life on Wanra," Adriena explained.

The child's eyes moved from the aliens to the cake on the table before him, and his mouth watered at the luxury. Chakotay saw the longing in his eyes and gestured to the treat. "Would you like a slice of chocolate cake?"

Konrak looked up at him and nodded.

"Then a slice is coming right up," Chakotay smiled. "Would you like a drink too?"

Again the boy nodded.

"I'd also love a slice," Adriena said. "It looks delicious."

"Certainly does," Darkin said, "count me in aswell."

Adriena then put her hand on the Konrak's thin shoulder. "While Chakotay's cutting us all a slice, I'll show you to your room."

Without another word, she began to walk towards the distant door, and Konrak obediently followed.

* * *

"This is your room," Adriena said as she showed Konrak into a cabin she had prepared the previous night. "It's small, like all cabins on this ship, but very comfortable."

Konrak stepped into the room and looked up and around. There was a colorful blanket on the bed, matching drapes at the window, and some books and toys on a silver shelf.

"Let's put away your blazer," Adriena went on. "You won't need it on this ship."

Konrak put his toy-dog down on the bed, took off his blazer, and handed it to Adriena. She took it, opened a silver wardrobe in the wall, and hung it up.

"There," she said. "Now I'll show you to the bathroom. It's just across the corridor. We'll wash our hands and then go and enjoy Chakotay's cake."

Konrak smiled, but before leaving the room, he picked up his toy-dog and carefully lay him on his pillow.

* * *

"Every bit as tasty as it looked," Adriena declared, finishing her slice of cake. "You'll have to give me the recipe, Chakotay."

"Gladly," he smiled.

Konrak was devouring his slice of cake and Adriena watched him fondly. "Enjoying it, Konrak?"

The boy looked up at her and nodded with a smile.

Adriena then pushed her empty plate aside and stood up. "Now, I'd better check we're properly on course and log in our new arrival."

"I'll come with you," Chakotay said, getting to his feet. "I want to check something."

They left the kitchenette, and as soon as the doors shut behind them, Adriena turned to her father.

"I take it you want to talk to me."

"That's right," Chakotay replied. "I would like you to run a DNA comparison test between myself, Konrak and Darkin, just to see if he's related to one of us. He could be my sister's son or a cousin of Darkin's."

"Good idea. I'll log him in and then do the test."

With that she went over to the helm and began to manually log in the child's details. Chakotay went to sit beside her, and watched her skillful fingers fly over the console.

"It's analyzing your DNAs now," Adriena said. "It shouldn't take..." A bleep sounded. "Already done."

She studied the results, and Chakotay waited anxiously. Was he Marla's son?

"He isn't closely related to you," Adriena informed him, "but he's strongly related to Darkin."

The disappointment Chakotay felt at the boy not being Marla's changed to curiosity now.

"He is?"

"Yes." She analyzed the results further. "The results suggest a biological relationship of uncle and nephew."

As Chakotay absorbed this, he considered the possibilities. "I guess he must be the son of one of Darkin's brothers," he concluded, "as his only sister died long before the Cardassian take-over. One of their wives must have been taken like Marla."

"That would explain it," Adriena replied.

"His entire family was lost in the resistance," Chakotay said thoughtfully. "This will mean...it will everything."

"I don't think we should tell Konrak for a few days," Adriena suggested. "It's unlikely he's ever seen a human before, so I think he needs time to get used to humans before being told he actually is one."

"I agree. We'll let him settle in first."

Adriena then turned back to her console, cleared the displayed data, and got to her feet. "You wait here. I'll tell Darkin to come through so you can give him the good news."

Chakotay smiled in appreciation. "Thank you."

Adriena smiled in return and then left.

A couple of minutes later, Darkin entered. "You wanted to see me?"

Chakotay nodded and gestured to the chair beside him. "Take a seat."

Darkin walked over to the helm, sat down, and questioned. "What's going on?"

"It's Konrak," Chakotay began. "I asked Erinada to match his DNA against ours for biological relationship, and the test suggests that he's your nephew."

Darkin's eyes widened, but he did not exhibit the joy Chakotay had expected.

"I thought you'd be pleased," Chakotay frowned.

"And so I would be," Darkin replied, "if he was. But I find it very hard to believe. As far as I know, none of my brother's wives were taken by the Cardassians, and I'm not convinced Erinada is all she seems."

"Why do you think that?" Chakotay asked calmly.

"Well, for starters, she's evasive, aloof, defensive, and I find her behavior highly suspect. I mean, not only does she turn up just in time to rescue us from prison, but she has a ship with a cloak, all this advanced technology, and now says she's found my long-lost-nephew."

"I admit it all looks very suspicious," Chakotay replied. "But coincidences do happen. And, while I can't tell you why, I just feel in my bones that we can trust her.."

"Like you felt you could trust Seska and Tuvok?"

Chakotay could make no reply to that.

"I won't believe she's really taking us to Trebus, and not another Cardassian prison, until we actually arrive there," Darkin went on. "If Konrak really is my nephew, then I'll accept him gladly, but right now I'm not willing to do so. Without any of our own technology, we only have Erinada's word that he's Mayan, just like we only have her word that she's taking us to Trebus, and I'm sorry to say it, but her word isn't enough for me."

"I can understand that," Chakotay conceded. "But I really do think she's genuine"

"Then you be faith, and I'll be doubt," Darkin answered, getting to his feet. "Time will tell us the truth, but in the meantime, I'll view Konrak for no more, and no less, than what he is...an eight year old little boy."

With that, he left the helm and returned to the kitchenette.

* * *

Lying in bed, his toy-dog beside him, Konrak watched as Adriena tucked him in that night. When she was finished, Adriena sat on the edge of his narrow bed and looked at him. He had said very little since arriving, but while he was clearly overwhelmed, he seemed to be content. His arm was wrapped around his toy-dog, and his attachment to it reminded her of her own beloved Ted. She still had the toy, and in the future she had left behind, he was gracing a bedroom in a house by Lake George.

"When I was little," she said. "I had a cuddly toy too. His name was Det. Does yours have a name?"

Konrak nodded. "Bork."

"Where did you get him?"

"I found him... in the park."

"I see," Adriena smiled. "Lucky Bork."

Konrak smiled in return and then questioned. "When we get to my planet, will I have a mother and a father?"

"No, honey," Adriena replied sadly. "Your parents died a long time ago. But you will be with family."

The child absorbed this, and then questioned again. "Will you be staying?"

"No," she answered. "I live in space."

"I wish you would stay. I like you."

"I like you too," Adriena replied, "very much. But I don't belong with your people. I'm just giving you and Bork a ride."

Konrak lowered his eyes, a sadness in them.

"But Darkin will be staying and you'll get to see Chakotay often."

The child perked up at this. "I like them," he smiled.

"And you'll like your people," Adriena reassured him. "I promise."

As she looked at the little boy lying before her, so vulnerable and alone, she thought of her first night on earth all those years ago. It was the night that Kathryn had come into her life, the first night of a new future, and she would never forget how her step-mother's tender kiss goodnight had made her feel that it was a future where she would be safe and cared for. Gently, she leant forward and kissed the little boy's bumpy brow. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

Konrak smiled warmly, his eyes moist. "Goodnight, Erinada."

Adriena then got to her feet, switched off the light, and left the room.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE


	24. Chapter 24

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures**

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

TEN DAYS LATER

With a plate of freshly baked chocolate cookies in his hand, Chakotay approached Konrak, who was sitting alone at the kitchenette's silver table, staring out of the window.

"Would you like a cookie?"

The child shook his head and continued to gaze out at the stars flying by at warp speed. Chakotay looked at the boy sadly. Since he had been told of his true heritage the previous evening, he had been quieter than usual, eaten little, and mostly kept to his room.

"You've got to keep your strength up," Chakotay urged. "You'll need it for our game of kick-ball."

Every afternoon, he amused the child with a game of kick-ball in the ship's empty cargo bay.

"I don't want to play," Konrak replied.

"I'll replicate us a spin-ball..."

At that, Konrak turned to him angrily. "I said I don't want to play! And I don't want a cookie either!"

Calmly, Chakotay put the cookies down on the table. "If you change your mind, help yourself."

Konrak made no reply, just turned again to the window.

Wanting to help the child, Chakotay sat opposite him and spoke with a careful choice of words. "I was just a little bit younger than you when I found out that our people hadn't always lived on Trebus...that they had once lived on Earth. While I was curious about Earth, it hurt that everything I had thought was true, wasn't. Coming from another place didn't change who I was, but it made me feel different, made me wonder where I belonged. I imagine you feel some of those things now."

Konrak hesitated, but then turned to Chakotay and nodded.

"And that's ok," Chakotay replied. "And it's ok to be scared. But I don't want you to feel that you're alone. Any questions you have about our people, I'm happy to answer."

Konrak averted his eyes and fiddled with his fingers. "If Darkin might be my uncle, why doesn't he like me?"

"He does like you," Chakotay reassured him.

Konrak shook his head sadly. "He doesn't, I can tell." A tear ran down his cheek. "I wish you were my uncle."

"So do I," Chakotay said honestly, "but you mustn't think that Darkin doesn't like you. He's just afraid of liking you too much incase you're not his nephew. When we know for sure that you are, he will be the best uncle you could hope for." The tribal settlement next to his own had a reserve of shuttles, with all necessary modern commodities, just incase the planet was attacked again, and he was going to ask to borrow a vessel to fly to Earth. Using the shuttle's technology, it would only take seconds to prove to Darkin that Konrak really was his nephew.

"If he's not my uncle," Konrak asked, "will I have another?"

"Quite possibly. And even if he is, you may still have another...or an aunt. Our people have large families."

Konrak absorbed his words, then spoke again. "Erinada says your doctors can make me look human."

"That's right...but only if you want them too. And you don't have to decide right away. You can take as long as you want. If you make up your mind to have the surgery before I leave Trebus for Earth, you can come with me, and our doctors will do it. If not, you can stay and take more time to decide."

Konrak was about to reply when the doors leading to the bridge opened and Adriena appeared.

"There's an uninhabited m-class planet just a little off route this afternoon," she said. "How would you both like a couple of hours at a beach?"

"Very much," Chakotay smiled. "Some fresh air would do us all good. But is it safe?"

"Absolutely. There are no approaching spacecraft, and I'll program the computer to beam us up should one appear."

The next question came from Konrak, his eyes bright with anticipation. "A real beach, Erinada? With sea and sand?"

"That's right," Adriena replied. "Would you like to go?"

The child nodded enthusiastically.

Adriena smiled. "Then I'll set a course."

* * *

"I knew it," Darkin said when Chakotay told him of the intended outing in the ship's lounge half an hour later, "she's sending us to another prison."

"You don't know it," Chakotay argued. "You're just conjecturing."

"Come on, Chakotay," he cried, getting to his feet, "use your brain! Do you really think a seaside trip is what she has in mind for us?"

"Yes I do," he replied. "We're approaching the fringe of Cardassian space...there are several known uninhabited planets."

"_If _we are approaching the fringe of Cardassian space. As I keep reminding you, we only have Erinada's word for that. For all we know, we could be deeper in the heart of the empire than we've ever been!"

"Yes, we could be," Chakotay conceded, "but I don't think we are."

"How much?" Darkin asked. "How much don't you think we are? How much would you stake on it? Your mother's life, Kathryn's life...your daughter's?"

"I can't give you a certainty on what is uncertain," Chakotay replied. "All I can keep telling you is that I personally think all this is real...that we're really on our way home and Konrak's really your nephew."

"Think it or want it?"

"Both." He stepped closer. "Look, I know we've been through hell the past few weeks...I'm still getting nightmares after the torture... but we've got to trust Erinada...we've got to trust that all this is real. If not, what else is there? We may as well curl up and die right now."

"Not if we think Maquis. So far we've done nothing but submit to Erinada...have blindly let her lead us like lambs to the slaughter. We've got to fight back...we've got to try and take command of this ship."

"If this really was all a trick," Chakotay reasoned, "do you really think she'd be alone? She's the vulnerable one here, not us. We don't need weapons to kill her..."

"She may not be alone... we might be on the holodeck of another ship... or even still in prison."

"In which case a mutiny will do no good."

"But at least we will have tried! If she does have sole responsibility for taking us to another prison, we can over-power her and take charge of this vessel. Then we can dump her and the boy on the first civilized planet we come too, and get ourselves home."

"No," Chakotay replied firmly. "I truly believe that Erinada is helping us, and I won't do anything to jeopardize her safety...or Konrak's."

"And if she takes us to a prison this afternoon?"

"Then she does. But I don't think she will."

He turned to leave, but Darkin called after him.

"So what, we do nothing?"

Chakotay turned back to him before leaving. "No, we do the hardest thing of all...we trust."

* * *

Sitting on a blanket, preparing a picnic, Adriena watched momentarily as Chakotay and Konrak paddled in the sea. Black cliffs towered behind them, and Darkin had gone for a solitary walk along them. Konrak laughed as Chakotay scooped him up and spun him around in frothy waves, and Adriena smiled at the child's joy. There was no doubt that her father had a genuine love of children, and she was so glad that in this new future that was dawning, he would get to be a part of her and Hanara's life.

After a while, Chakotay left Konrak to his own devices, and joined Adriena. He was dripping wet, so before sitting down, he picked up a towel and began to dry himself.

"That was good," he said, drying his face and hair. "Nothing like a dip in the ocean to refresh the soul."

"Konrak's certainly having a good time," Adriena replied. "I'm so glad."

"Me too," Chakotay answered, moving the towel to his neck and chest. "You should go in. The water's warm."

"I think I'll pass," Adriena smiled. "The sea is fine to look at, but I like to keep my distance."

Chakotay dried off his legs. "Had a bad experience?"

"You could say that. I nearly drowned once." Almost before the words were out, Adriena regretted them. How many more such give-aways would it take before her father realized her true identity? Did she want him to guess? A part of her wondered.

"That would do it," Chakotay replied, the detail lost on him just like all the others. He put down the towel and reached for a flask of water. "My daughter almost drowned once. It was a close call." He then opened the flask and took a drink. "You remind me of her...my daughter."

Adriena flinched. "I do?"

"Yes. I don't know why exactly, but you do...maybe it's your dark eyes."

Adriena couldn't help pursue the present course of conversation further. "I bet she's missed you."

"I've certainly missed her," he said, lowering the flask. "A year ago I didn't even know she existed, but now I can't imagine my life without her."

"If you could," Adriena asked hesitantly, "would you have her completely human?"

"No," Chakotay replied sincerely, "I wouldn't change who she is."

Tears filled Adriena's eyes, but she managed to suppress them. "She's really lucky to have you as a father."

"I don't know about that," Chakotay said sadly. "I haven't been much of one so far. First I've been absent from her life for seven years, and then just when she's starting to love and trust me, I'm gone again. I don't really have the right to call myself her father, but I'm going to do my best to earn that privilege."

"I'm sure you're every bit the daddy that she dreamed of," Adriena said quietly. "I'm sure that all those years she was unloved and unwanted, no doubt crying herself to sleep and dreading the next day, it was a daddy like you she wished would come and get her and make everything better."

At those words, Chakotay looked up at her, wondering if she had known the same kind of pain.

"All she wants is to be loved," Adriena continued. "And I can tell that you love her."

"Very much," he answered. "When my wife first told me about her, I wasn't sure how I was going to feel, but when I saw her fast asleep in her bed, cradling her teddy-bear, I felt such a tenderness towards her that I knew I was going to love her. When she almost drowned the next day, and was actually dead when I got her out of the water, I knew then that I did."

Adriena's face paled and she stared at him incredulously. While it had happened so long ago, she could still remember fighting for her life in the water, remember sinking beneath the waves, and remember a kind fair haired man carrying her to safety and putting her to bed. Could it really have been her father? How was that possible?

"She doesn't know it was me," Chakotay went on, "as I wasn't myself at the time...a long story I won't go into...but when she lay dead in my arms, a profound agony filled my heart, and all I wanted was for her to wake up and for the chance to be a proper father."

Adriena made no response, just sat in a daze.

"Are you ok?" Chakotay asked in concern.

"Yes," Adriena replied. "I just..." Trembling slightly, she got to her feet. "I'd better go and get Darkin...tell him our picnic's ready..."

With that, she got to her feet and walked towards the embankment. As she did, silent tears ran down her cheek. It would have been so easy for her father to have let her die, but he didn't. If ever she had doubted his love for her, she knew for certain now that it was real. When he and Seska had made her, the gift of her life had not been by his choosing, but when he had pulled her out of the water and breathed life into her lungs, he had given her life then because he wanted too.

* * *

Standing on the edge of a high cliff, Darkin looked out at the alien sea before him. Although he had seen Adriena walk towards him for a while, he ignored her approach and continued to gaze out at the ocean.

"Our picnic's ready," Adriena said as she reached him.

Darkin turned to her slowly and looked at her with the pain and suspicion she always saw in his eyes. "How long are you going to keep this up?"

"If you mean my hospitality," she replied, "until we reach Trebus."

Darkin stepped closer. "You know exactly what I meant! You may have fooled Chakotay, but you don't fool me. I know you're not what you seem. The perfect timing, the ship, Konrak...it's all too coincidental, too perfect."

Adriena swallowed...he was cutting too close to the mark.

"If you're taking us to another prison," he went on, "why don't you at least have the decency to tell us?"

"Because I'm not taking you to another prison," she answered. "I'm taking you home."

The suspicion in Darkin's eyes deepened. "Out of the goodness of your heart," he said sarcastically, "to repay a debt."

"That's right."

Darkin amost scoffed and clenched his fist in frustration. "If it was up to me, we would have hijacked your ship by now...if it really is a ship and not a holographic projection. You think that by depriving us of weapons, and denying us access to the ship's controls, you've made us defenceless. But we don't need a weapon to overpower you. Two men against one woman, what do you think the odds of your survival would be?" He held up his hands. "Hands can be deadly. Hands can squeeze the life out of a person just like they can squeeze juice out of an orange. Right now, these hands could push you over this cliff to your death."

Adriena swallowed again and took a small step backwards. His loathing for her was as clear as murderous capability in his eyes.

At her retreat, Darkin lowered his hands. "But Chakotay insists that we trust you, and I will do nothing without his consent. If you really are helping us because Chakotay once helped your family, then I thank you. But if your only involvement with us is to both prolong and hasten our deaths, when your time comes to meet our maker, I hope you remember how you betrayed the trust of a good man. I don't care what power you believe in... there is justice in the next life."

"I don't fear death," Adriena replied. "I have a clear conscience. Perhaps I am not what I seem, perhaps our journey has been predestined, but in everything I've done, my only motive has been your good. I'm sorry and ashamed of the pain my people have caused you, but I'm not them. I'm innocent of their crimes." She paused. "If I were you, I would be suspicious of me too, and I don't expect your gratitude or your regard. All I want is to get you home safely, so that you will live and not die."

Darkin made no reply, just turned to gaze out at the ocean again.

"I hope you will join our picnic," she said. "We'll be eating soon."

For a moment, Darkin didn't answer, then he spoke. "I will follow shortly."

"As you wish," Adriena answered. She then turned around and began to walk back to the sand.

* * *

FIVE DAYS LATER

When the ship finally reached Trebus, it was early morning for Chakotay's tribe. After flying the ship into orbit, Adriena prepared to say goodbye to her special passengers.

"Are you sure you won't come with us?" Chakotay asked, standing before her on the transporter pad. "We'd truly love to have you stay a while."

"I'm sure," Adriena replied, her eyes moist. Saying goodbye was far harder than she had imagined it would be.

"Then we'll say goodbye," Chakotay said sadly. "If there's anything I can ever do for you, anything at all, then all you have to do is ask."

"Just be happy," she whispered.

Chakotay held out his hand to her, but Adriena embraced him instead. Chakotay responded and Adriena closed her eyes as they held each other close. When at last they drew apart, Adriena turned to Konrak and hugged the child.

"You will have a good life with your people," she said, a stubborn tear running down her cheek. "I promise."

Konrak lay his head on her shoulder. "I wish you would come...I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," she said, kissing his hair. "But I'll always be with you in your heart, just as you'll always be with me."

She then drew away and turned to Darkin. "Goodbye, Darkin," she said, holding out her hand.

Darkin hesitated, but then took her hand and shook it. He did not, however, bid her goodbye.

Adriena then stepped away and addressed the computer. "Computer," she said, "initiate transport."

Instantly, a blue light engulfed the males before her and in seconds they were gone.

For a long moment, Adriena stared tearfully at the empty transporter pad, a myriad of emotions inside. She had done it, after years of hard work and sacrifice, she had saved her father and Darkin...she had changed the future...

Or had she?

Aware of her continued existence, she looked around her shuttle anxiously. If saving Chakotay and Darkin from the death claws of the Cardassians had erased the future she came from, why was she still here? With rising fear, she hurried over to the helm and scanned Trebus for the lifesigns of her passengers, just incase the transporter had failed and they had not arrived safely... but the computer located them on the surface immediately. Sweating now, Adriena sat down and wracked her brains as she tried to make sense of everything. Temporal mechanics had never been her strong point and maybe she had misunderstood something...maybe she wouldn't disappear...maybe she was stuck in this time-frame for the rest of her life...

Suddenly, a bleep sounded and the computer spoke. "Incoming transmission. Visual and audio."

"On screen," Adriena said, not having a clue who could be calling, or how they had found her.

Immediately, a brown-haired man in what resembled a Starfleet uniform, appeared on the screen.

"I am Captain Alex Martan of the time-ship Zodiac. Our sensors show you are displaced in time and must be returned to your own reality."

"No," Adriena cried, getting to her feet. "You can't change it all back again and let them die. Do what you want with me, but don't let them die again...please."

"We have no intention of changing your actions in this time-frame," the man replied, "as whatever they were, they are a part of our history. But our sensors tell us you no longer belong in this time-frame and it is our place to fix the displacement. We have traced your point of entry to a temporal anomaly generated on stardate 55083.2, and we will now transfer you to that anomaly so you can return the same way as you came."

At the man's words, Adriena's anxiety eased. They were not going to change what she had worked so hard to accomplish, were just going to help her leave a time she did not belong in.

The captain then spoke again. "Stand-by for temporal transfer."

Adriena held her breath, unsure what to expect, but all she felt was a little jolt.

"In minutes the anomaly will appear," the captain continued. "Good journey."

With that, the transmission terminated.

Adriena sat down again, performed a scan of the space she was now in, and then waited for the rift to appear. Every second seemed like an eternity as she stared at the viewscreen, but at last, a blue ball burst out of the darkness, tearing across space and time.

"Computer," she said as she powered up engines, "tell me when a vessel emerges from the rift."

There was no way she was flying through it until her past-self arrived safely.

At last the computer gave the message she had waited to here. "Vessel has emerged."

Adriena glanced at the scan of local space and saw that the ship was over fifty miles away, there was no danger of a collision.

"Take us into the rift," she said, "maximum warp."

As the shuttle began to move, the rift grew closer and closer until all that could be seen was dancing blue-light. Reaching under the neck of her sweater, Adriena pulled out a gold-chain she had cherished for over a quarter of a century, and squeezed it tight. She then closed her eyes and flew into oblivion.

**END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR**


	25. Chapter 25

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the property of Paramount Pictures**

CHAPTER 25

A WEEK LATER

Standing on a carpet of white snow, a pink pom-pom hat on her head, Adriena clapped her hands in joy as Kathryn wrapped a red scarf around a large snowman they had spent the afternoon building. He had black pebbles for eyes, a carrot for a nose, plastic red-lips for a mouth, and twigs for arms.

"All he needs now is his hat," Kathryn said, turning to the happy little girl beside her. "Want to do the honors?"

Adriena nodded enthusiastically, and picked up a large black top-hat that was on a bench behind her. Raising herself on tip-toes, she carefully put the hat on the snowman's head, and then clapped her hands again as she stood back to admire him.

"The handsomest snowman I ever saw," Kathryn smiled. "What shall we call him?"

"Mr Snow," Adriena declared.

Kathryn took the snowman's twigged hand in hers and pretended to shake it. "Pleased to meet you, Mr Snow."

Adriena laughed and then looked up at her step-mother. "May I take a picture of him, Mommy?"

"Absolutely," Kathryn answered. "I was about to suggest the very thing."

Adriena beamed a smile. "I'll go find my camera."

With that, she made her way into the house as quickly as she could, Goldby in pursuit. Blackie stayed behind and curiously sniffed the new white-object in the garden. He then raised his leg against it and piddled.

"Oh no, Blackie," Kathryn laughed. "You shouldn't have..."

Suddenly a dearly beloved voice spoke behind her.

"Some dogs just have no manners."

Kathryn spun around, her heart racing, and saw Chakotay standing before her.

"Chakotay!" she exclaimed, tears welling in her eyes.

Before she knew it, he had gathered her in his arms.

"I'm home," he whispered. "I'm home to stay."

Kathryn held him tight, tears falling, and for a long time they just clung to each other in the snow. Then, at last, they drew apart.

"How are you?" Chakotay asked. "I've been worried...about you and the baby."

"We're both fine," Kathryn smiled. She gestured to her broad waist. "As you can see, I'm as big as a whale."

Chakotay smiled in return, but there was such a sadness in his eyes. "I wanted so much to be here...to share it all."

"I know," Kathryn replied. "But it isn't over yet. And you're back in time for our first Christmas."

Chakotay put his hand to her cold cheek. "I can't wait."

Kathryn took his hand in hers and asked the question that in her heart she already knew the answer too. "Did you find Marla?"

"Yes," Chakotay said sadly, "but not alive. The Cardassians said she was, but when they took me to her, she was barely more than a skeleton. I could only identify her with my tricorder."

"I'm sorry," Kathryn replied, the cruelty hurting her heart.

"We did find Darkin's nephew, though," Chakotay informed her.

"You did?"

Chakotay nodded. "We found him on our way home. His mother was pregnant with him when she was taken by the Cardassians, so he's not much older than Adriena. Someone took pity on him when he was born, surgically altered him to look Cardassian, and placed him in a boarding house on a planet that doesn't use modern technology. We did some tests when we got to Trebus, and turns out he's the son of Darkin's eldest brother, Vanton, and his wife, Cartina. He's going to be raised by Cartina's sister and her family."

"That's wonderful," Kathryn smiled. "Just wonderful."

"An unexpected blessing," Chakotay answered. "And you can meet him tomorrow. He and Darkin came back with me so they can find a doctor to reverse the surgery. They're staying in a hotel in Mexico."

"A hotel? They could have stayed with us."

"I offered," Chakotay explained, "but Darkin insisted. He's very independent."

Kathryn gazed at Chakotay, hardly able to believe that he was really standing before her, safe and sound. "I can't believe you're really home," she said. "I've hardly dared to dream of this..." A tear ran down her cheek. "I was so afraid I wouldn't see you again...that the Cardassians would imprison you..."

"They did," Chakotay replied. "After they took me to my sister's body, they incarcerated me and captured Darkin. I don't know what would have happened to us if we hadn't of been rescued by a friendly Cardassian woman. In return for helping her family at Lanka, she beamed us out of the prison and gave us a ride to Trebus."

Kathryn squeezed Chakotay's hand. "I can never thank her enough...who ever she was."

Suddenly, the door behind them slid open, and Adriena appeared. When she saw her father standing in the garden, she dropped the yellow camera in her hands. "Daddy!"

Chakotay turned to her and opened his arms wide. Adriena hurried into them and they held each other joyfully.

* * *

The following evening, Adriena waited impatiently in the living room for Darkin and Konrak to arrive. They were coming to dinner, and she had spent the afternoon helping her father to cook and her step-mother to decorate the table.

"How much longer?" she asked as Kathryn switched on the Christmas tree lights.

"Any moment now," Kathryn answered.

Adriena sighed and climbed onto a windowseat to continue her vigil. It was already dark outside and snow was falling softly, covering Mr Snow in white lace.

Just as Adriena was about to complain that no one was coming, two dark figures crossed the window and approached the snowman.

"They're here," Adriena cried happily. "They're looking at Mr Snow."

Chakotay went over to the door and Adriena eagerly followed. As he opened it, Darkin approached.

"We were just admiring your snowman."

Chakotay smiled. "A fine one, isn't he?"

"Very fine."

Adriena squeezed between Chakotay and the doorpost and addressed him. "Mommy and I made him."

"Then you're very talented," Darkin smiled.

Konrak left the snowman and Darkin put his arm around his nephew. The boy no longer looked Cardassian, but fully human.

"I bet you don't recognize this young man," he said to Chakotay. "As it's Christmas, I booked him in for surgery as soon as possible, and we got a slot this lunch time. Turns out all he needed was a simple resequencing, so he was discharged within two hours."

Adriena gazed at the little boy before her as intensely as he was looking at her, and when she smiled warmly, he smiled in return.

"Come in, come in," Kathryn said as she approached the door. "You'll both freeze out there."

Darkin and Konrak gladly stepped into the warm house and Kathryn embraced Darkin. "It's so good to see you again...so good." She then turned to Konrak. "I'm very honored to meet you, Konrak."

The boy smiled at her, and then looked again at Adriena.

"Dinner isn't quite ready yet," Chakotay said. "You can both play for a while."

Adriena clapped her hands and turned back to Konrak. "Come on, let's go to my room. I'll show you my bath and my toys."

Without waiting for a response, she began to walk towards the hall, and Konrak gladly followed.

* * *

"Daddy says you're going to live on Trebus," Adriena said, climbing onto her bed after showing Konrak her duck-bath. "If you are, I'll see you when we come on vacation. We visit Grandma Enola and Aunt Sekaya."

Konrak joined her on the bed. "Uncle Darkin's going to bring me to Earth for vacations. He likes me now."

Adriena frowned. "Didn't he like you before?"

Konrak shook his head. "He didn't like Erinada either. He was always mean to her. But he likes me now he knows I'm his nephew. He thought Erinada was lying."

"Did you like Erinada?"

He nodded. "I wanted her to stay with us on Trebus, but she couldn't. She lives in space."

"Will you have a Mommy?"

"I will," he replied. "Aunt Zarin is going to be my mommy and Uncle Pryntax my father. I'll have three brothers and four sisters too."

"Kathryn's my mommy," Adriena said proudly. "And she's having a baby. It's inside her. That's why she has a big tummy. It has to be there to grow and eat."

There was a brief moment of silence, then Konrak spoke. "Want to see a picture of how I looked before my operation?"

Adriena nodded. "Want to see a picture of how I looked before mine?"

Konrak nodded too, and Adriena leaned over to her bedside cabinet. Carefully, she opened a draw and pulled out a picture taken of her at Houston zoo.

"Let's swap," she said, as Konrak pulled out a picture from the pocket of his pants.

They swapped pictures, and Adriena studied the smiling face of a little Cardassian boy before her. "You sure look different now," she commented. "But at least you never looked like a freak."

"I don't think you looked like a freak," Konrak replied, studying the image of Adriena in a pink dress, leaning on pink crutches. "Just different. I've seen lots of people with crutches. I think you looked nice...just as nice as you look now."

Adriena looked up at him and smiled warmly. "I think you look nice too."

Konrak smiled in return and they looked at each other for a while. Adriena then took back her picture, put it in the draw, and got to her feet.. "Come on, I'll show you our holo-room. It's magic."

Konrak popped his picture back into his pocket, and they left the room.

* * *

TWO DAYS LATER

On a rug before a roaring simulated fire, Chakotay stacked a mountain of Christmas presents for Adriena. They were all wrapped in cheerful festive paper and were decorated with bows and ribbons.

"I think she's coming," Kathryn said, putting a breakfast tray of bagels, coffee and apple juice down on the table.

Chakotay quickly stacked the remaining presents and then got to his feet. Just as he did so, the living room door opened and Adriena came in, dressed in yellow pyjamas. When she saw the pile of presents before the fire, her eyes widened.

"Who are they for?"

"For you, darling," Kathryn said. "Merry Christmas."

Adriena's jaw dropped open and it was a long moment before she could speak. "For me?"

"That's right," Chakotay reassured her. "They're all yours."

Kathryn picked up one of the presents and read the label. "This one's from Aunt Phoebe."

As though in a dream, Adriena walked over to Kathryn and took the parcel hesitantly.

"Go on," Kathryn urged. "Open it."

Adriena teared off the paper and smiled when she saw a box of artistic delights. "Paints and crayons!"

Kathryn held out another present to the child, but Adriena didn't take it. Instead she looked up at her step-mother. "Are the presents really all for me? Really, truly?"

"Yes, darling," she answered, a lump in her throat. "They're all for you."

"I'm not dreaming?"

"No, darling. I promise." She gestured to the child's beloved bean-bag. "So sit down and open them all."

Adriena did as she was told and then looked up at her step-mother again. "If I am dreaming, I never want to wake up."

Kathryn smiled and kissed the little girl's forehead. "Neither do I, darling. Neither do I."

* * *

When they were finally in bed, after a day of Christmas festivities with the family, Chakotay presented Kathryn with a long slim box wrapped in gold paper and decorated with a silver bow.

"Oh Chakotay," Kathryn said. "You've given me so much already..."

"I like to spoil you," he smiled.

Kathryn carefully removed the paper and found a black-velvet box beneath. She opened it gently and gasped when saw a sparkling necklace of many precious stones nestling in white-satin.

"Oh Chakotay...it's so beauitful."

"And over five-hundred years old," he informed her.

Kathryn touched the necklace reverently, her eyes moist. "It's amazing. Thank you."

Chakotay smiled. "Want to try it on?"

"I hardly dare," Kathryn smiled in return.

Chakotay took that as a yes and slowly lifted the age-old neckace out of the box. Kathryn turned to him and he put it on her.

"Feels exquisite," Kathryn said when it was in place. She looked at herself in a distant wall mirror and the stones glistened at her throat. "Looks exquisite too."

Suddenly, she felt little kicks inside her and she put her hand to her abdomen. "It certainly gets Hanara's approval," she smiled. "Which means our darling must be a girl."

Chakotay laughed softly and put his hand on her bump to feel their child kick.

"I thought this was going to be the most miserable Christmas of my life," Kathryn said, leaning against him, "but it's turned out to be the greatest. Thank you."

Chakotay slipped his arm around her. "Thank you, Kathryn...for everything. But most of all for loving me."

Kathryn kissed his bare shoulder. "It's my privilege. And I'll never stop. You're in my heart forever."

* * *

SIX WEEKS LATER

Sitting up in a hospital bed, Kathryn cradled her new-born daughter. At Chakotay's persuasion, Hanara Shannon Janeway had been born by fetal transport half an hour earlier, and was now fast asleep in her mother's arms. Chakotay was sitting beside his wife, and he gazed at their baby in awe.

"She's so beautiful," he said. "So perfect."

"Except for her hair," Kathryn teased.

"I love her hair," Chakotay replied, tenderly stroking a bundle of red-fluff on the baby's head. "It's just like yours."

"Exactly," Kathryn laughed. "Our darling should have had your dark locks...genetics were on her side. "

"Janeway's aren't suppressed easily," Chakotay smiled. "And that goes for their genes too."

Kathryn looked up from her precious daughter into her husband's face. "I'm so happy, Chakotay."

"Me too," he said, tenderly brushing a loose strand of hair away from her face. "Just when I think I can't possibly be happier, I find that I am."

Kathryn smiled and then raised her lips to his in a tender kiss. When they drew away, the door opened and Gretchen and Phoebe came in with Adriena.

"Let me see my granddaughter," Gretchen said, hurrying over to the bed.

"And me my niece," Phoebe demanded.

Chakotay got to his feet and passed his baby-daughter from Kathryn's arms to Gretchen's. Hanara woke at the disturbance and began to cry.

"Oh bless my heart," Gretchen exclaimed when she saw the child's red curls. "She has the Janeway hair."

"Kathryn's nose too," Chaktotay smiled. "And her mouth."

"She sure is the image of you, sis," Phoebe remarked. "And I can see she's going to be a fiery one."

As her mother and sister fussed over the new-arrival, Kathryn noticed that Adriena was standing in the doorway, a haunting sadness in her eyes. Kindly, Kathryn held out her hand to the child.

"Come sit by me, darling, and say hello to your little sister."

Adriena's dull eyes lit up at Kathryn's attention, and she hurried over to the bed. When she reached it, she climbed onto it and snuggled up to her step-mother. Kathryn wrapped her arm around the little girl and kissed her dark hair. "Would you like to hold her?"

Adriena nodded and Kathryn smiled. "Then sit back and open your arms like this..." She showed the child how to position her arms, and Adriena dutifully copied. Kathryn then addressed her mother. "I'll have my daughter back now," she said. "There's a very important person she needs to meet."

Gretchen kissed her crying little granddaughter and passed her back to Kathryn.

"This is your big sister, Adriena," Kathryn said, carefully putting the baby in Adriena's arms. "She wants to say hello."

Adriena gazed at the baby in her arms and Hanara stopped crying in her big sister's relaxing embrace.

"Our Hanara clearly loves you," Kathryn told her.

Adriena smiled happily and kissed her little sister's forehead. "I love her too."

Phoebe reached into her shoulder bag and pulled out a small camera. "Mom, Chakotay," she said. "Get in frame. Let's have a picture."

Gretchen and Chakotay did as she asked, and on the count of three, Phoebe took the first picture of the new Janeway family.

END OF CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE


	26. Epilogue

**Star Trek Voyager characters are the Property of Paramount Pictures**

EPILOGUE

2390

Beneath a scorching summer sky, drums beat and flutes sung, filling the air with sweet music that enchanted the waiting crowd. Inside a tall wig-wam, an attractive young woman with a temple tattoo and long black hair flowing over a fringed beige dress, stood before her beloved step-mother.

"How do I look?"

"Beautiful," Kathryn smiled. Voyager's former captain was also dressed in native costume and had a beaded band on her graying hair.

The teepee's door suddenly flapped open and Chakotay peeped his head in.

"We're ready."

"We'll be right there," Kathryn replied.

Chakotay disappeared, and Kathryn turned back to her step-daughter. There were tears in the young bride's eyes and Kathryn put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"What is it? Are you having second thoughts?"

Adriena shook her head. "I love Konrak and want to be his wife more than anything, but I just...I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"Of failing him...of not being enough..."

Kathryn took Adriena's hands in hers. "Konrak loves you for you. Just be true to yourself."

A tear ran down Adriena's cheek. "But it's by being me that I hurt those I love. Apart from Konrak, no one has chosen to want me except you. Daddy loves me because I'm his daughter, and Hanara loves me because I'm her sister, but you loved me for no reason other than you wanted too. Yet I let you down so much by getting kicked out of the Academy. You're the last person I ever wanted to fail and disappoint, but I did."

"Oh darling," Kathryn said, gathering her step-daughter close. "I was secretly proud. I wish I'd poured a bucket over dragon-wagon." Adriena laughed softly and Kathryn kissed her silky hair. "My disappointment was only for you. I know how much you wanted to be a Starfleet Officer."

"I did," Adriena said, drawing away. "But I'm glad now it didn't work out. If it had, I wouldn't have come here to heal and wouldn't be with Konrak now." She smiled. "I'm so happy, Mom."

"And I'm happy you're happy," Kathryn replied. "That's all any mother wants for her child...as I'm sure you'll soon learn."

Adriena nodded. "Konrak and I want lots of children."

Kathryn smiled. "Then your father and I had better build extra bedrooms."

Adriena laughed. "We'll come and visit every Christmas."

Kathryn poked her stomach affectionately. "You'd better."

Adriena then drew her step-mother close again. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'm going to miss you too," Kathryn said sincerely.

The two women embraced for a while, then drew apart.

"Come on," Kathryn said, holding out her arm. "Let's not keep your groom waiting."

Adriena dried her eyes, took Kathryn's arm, and together they left the wig-wam.

As they stepped into the sunshine, voices began to sing and a group of young men and women began to dance. In the distance, Konrak, who had grown into a handsome young man, was waiting with his family, and Adriena smiled happily at him before joining hers. Hanara was amongst them, her red-hair blazing in the sun, and she proudly took up her position of honor beside her parents.

When the music silenced into the lone beat of a drum, the bride and groom began to walk towards each other, and their families followed in procession. The couple met outside the cabin that was to be their home, and as the tribe's priest approached them, their families formed a circle around them and linked hands. The priest was holding a beautifully decorated pottery vase that Konrak's family had made, and as Adriena and Konrak took each other's hands, he raised the vessel, which was full of water, to the sky.

"Great Spirit," he said, "we come together today to join in marriage this man, Konrak, and this woman, Adriena. We ask that you bless their life together with enduring love, harmony, fertility and fidelity. You gave us water so we may live, and gave us love so we may live in joy. Bless this water, Holy One, so that this man, and this woman, may live long in love."

The priest then lowered the vase and handed it to Adriena. Carefully, she took a sip, and then handed it to Konrak. After he had taken a drink, he handed it back to the priest, and the bride and groom piled their hands on top of each other. The priest then poured the remaining water over their hands, speaking as he did so.

"Before the Great Spirit you have pledged your lives to each other. May you never be lonely, but find company in each other. May you never be unhappy, but find joy together. And may you never long for love, but always love one another."

The priest then held out the vase, and Adriena and Konrak took a handle each.

"Cherish this vase as a symbol of your marriage and seal your union with a kiss."

Adriena and Konrak smiled tearfully at each other and then kissed tenderly.

Watching from the circle, Kathryn squeezed Chakotay's hand as a happy tear ran down her cheek, and felt him squeeze hers in return.

* * *

At midnight, when the celebrations were finally over and Hanara was fast asleep, Kathryn and Chakotay sat outside their wig-wam and celebrated their daughter's marriage with a glass of champagne.

"It seems only like yesterday she was a little girl," Kathryn said thoughtfully. "I will never forget the first night she came into my life, and will always be grateful for the love that came with her." She paused. "Time passes so quickly. It's hard to believe that it's almost two decades since we were stranded in the Delta Quadrant. I used to think I could plan my life to ever last detail...that I could control everything...I wanted to control everything. But the best things that have ever happened to me...Voyager, you, Adriena and Hanara, were all unplanned."

"The best gifts," Chakotay said gently, "are always those we're not expecting."

Kathryn's eyes found his and she gazed into them. "In k'aatech."

Chakotay smiled, her faulty accent telling him the words were her own, and he replied in kind. "I love you too."

Kathryn smiled in return, his accent telling her the same thing, and she raised up her glass. "To the next ten years."

Chakotay knocked his glass against hers in a toast. "The next ten years."

Their lips then drew together and they kissed softly beneath the stars.

THE END


End file.
